What should we now do ......i love her and she loves me but having our child will break up her marriage.
2006-10-09 09:02:48 · 32 answers · asked by World Traveler 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By having an affair her marriage is already seriously at risk. Can things between her & her husband ever be the same again? What caused her to start the relationship with you in the first place? Was she truly happy with him? I would suggest that she needs to decide how she feels about her husband, whether she would want to end her marriage if you were not on the scene & how she feels about having a baby. Does she love you enough that she would have wanted to be with you without the pregnancy? The religious aspect further complicates matters as if she has the baby out of wedlock, in Jewish law it will always be considered illegitimate and will not be considered Jewish as it would otherwise having a Jewish mother.
Once she has decided how she feels about her husband, you & a baby she will know what she has to do. For your part, be prepared to give her space, time & support. Only she can make these decisions.
2006-10-09 09:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by rred46 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the both of you cheat in the first place? Don't you know that having extra-marrital affairs break up marriages? Why are we as a people still in bondage. If you choose to be with someone else, than fine, but finish what you have started, otherwise people get hurt. People kill me saying they love someone other than their spouse. Why put yourself in that situation and expect for feelings and emotions not to come into play. How silly is it of you to say that you love one another, but having your child will break up her marriage as if the affair in itself wasn't enough, now you have an innocent child to consider. Ever heard of a latex condom?
2006-10-09 09:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i am in the same predicament but without the pregnancy, you definately need to find out it is yours first, and not that she is just saying that in the fear she may lose you, this is one way of her holding on to you. well its irrelevant that she is jewish, but she needs to sort out what she wants sooner rather than later, and you need to realise if it does happen to be yours that you will have a responsibility to that child, and not to blame it when it gets older, for been the product of an affair, should it all go wrong. Dont bring a baby into this world when you both have not thought this through properly
2006-10-09 09:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worried about her marriage? I think not! You just don't want her free of her hubby because then you won't have any reason not to committ. You like the arrangement as it is... sex without the marriage.
So when did you really have her best interest in mind.... before you did it with a married woman or after she got pregnant.
Oh how I hope he had a vasectomy.... then she and you will both get what you deserve...each other.
2006-10-09 09:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by john s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont you think if her husbend found out anyway would break her marriage? so what is the difference now. Its a wrong thing to do. dont break her marriage. Ask her to tell her husbend the truth. if she doesnt want him to find out ever then stop seeing each other and get her an abortion.
regardless of the child or not, the marriage is gonna break if the husbend finds out. so if she wants to keep the marriage then she should leave you and if she loves you too much then she should tell her husbend and deal with the situation.
2006-10-09 09:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things, you must help her tell her husband what has happened, then let them work out between them what to do. If he wants to throw her out or leave her, then you can step in and take responsibility for them both, but if he decides to forgive her and they try to make their marriage work, your responsibility is to the child only. Time to be a man and face up to your mistake.
2006-10-09 09:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's been having an affair with you, sounds like the marriage was already broken.
2006-10-09 09:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you do have options! But it was stupid having a affair with a married woman.Maybe her husband would want the baby and have you pay support ,They can live on you!
2006-10-09 09:11:39 · answer #8 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. You guys are screwed. She better come clean and leave her husband. It's not fair to pass the baby off as his when it's not. If you guys love each other she needs to let her husband go and you guys can get married and raise the baby. That's the only option I see.
2006-10-09 09:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to stop doing her and then tell her husband what happen and pray that he doesnt kick your ***. then maybe there is a chance that he will forgive her and then want the baby too. but you never know until he find out. yeah how do you know it's your kid. what if she ******* around your back too. so i would check into that too. i think everyone want to know why didnt you use a condom. now you are fucked. also how do you know she love you . what if she tell her husband she love him and what are you going to do. anyway good luck.
2006-10-09 09:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by Melda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋