really I don`t like my wife.
2006-10-09 08:45:19 · 49 answers · asked by apm_ir 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is hard work. You need to stop with that other woman NOW, and invest that time in your wife.
It's doubly important, or you will destroy something precious and important in your daughter. Her entire future could be determined by your act: will it be selfish or selfless.
Get to counseling. Take your wife on dates. TALK to her and get to know her again. She is the mother of your daughter. THAT ALONE means she deserves more respect than you've given her by CHEATING ON HER!
Are you going to be a man, and do what is best for your wife and daughter, or are you going to be a dog, and do only what's best for you? I don't mean to sound harsh, but you have a daughter at an EXTREMELY vulnerable age. If you let her down, she'll look for male approval elsewhere. Is this what you want???
I'll be praying that you have the strength to do what is right, and that you can rebuild happiness, laughter and joy within your OWN family!
2006-10-09 08:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by renee_kovach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to start talking to your wife. Second, you need to tell her you want a divorce. Third, you and your wife need to tell your daughter that you and your wife are getting a divorce. She is 11, if she sees you with this other woman don't you think she'll know you were unfaithful? Especially if you explain the truth. You should have ended the first relationship before starting a new one. You need to come clean for every ones sake. Hope she doesn't think all men are like this. But, you need to do the right thing and move on and divorce. I'm sure she can sense things are not right with mom and dad. Just a real thought, is this new woman someone you really want. She helped you be unfaithful to you and your wife and daughter. Good luck and the faster you straighten this out, the better off you are. By the way, second marriages usually don't last as long as the first ones.
2006-10-09 08:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the answer you are looking for:
Counseling. There was something there that made you love your wife, before. Everyone hits rough spots, some harder than others, but this is where true character shows.
If nothing else, be faithful to your daughter and get rid of the other woman. No matter what, she will find out, and then how will she look at you?? It may be now, or it may be when she is older, but one day she'll know you're the man that cheated on her family. If you cant trust your own father, than what man can you trust??
Seriously, you need to try to fix things with your wife, and if you keep this other woman in the picture, it is bound to fail.
2006-10-09 08:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by Shaken Not Stirred 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your pretty much screwed either way you look at it. But that is how life is, it is not always fair and most of the time we want what can't have. I you sacrifice your own happiness to make your daughter and wife happy (like I wish i would have done years ago) then maybe you will be unhappy forever. If you leave your family in pursuit of a new love (which is what i did years ago) then you will break their hearts and will be unhappy forever.. The problem is that a someone can not run a relationship projection model to find out the future outcome of a marriage. 9 times out of 10, the grass is not greener on the other side.. but my answer doesn't matter to you anyway, you follow your heart (just like I did).. Good luck!!
2006-10-09 08:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfeyen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no point in spending time with a woman whom you don't like. At the same time if you go ahead with the woman you love, your daughter would have her parents divorcing. So for you the solution should be to wait for another 4 -5 years where your daughter grows up to be a teenager and understands that. So that she can take decisions on her own and then you can go with the woman you love with.
2006-10-09 08:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by Nag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to say do what makes your daughter happy but will you and your spouse be happy. I think that sometimes people use their children to hold on to something that is not there anymore even if the situation is tensioned and not healthy for the children. Children pick up on things better than we think and are not blind to what is going on between mom and dad. If you absolutely hate your wife then it is not fair to her that you stay in a loveless mairrage where there may be arguments and tension everyday for your child to see. I also don't think you should continue to cheat but respect her enough to wait until the divorce is final if the other woman loves you she will understand. I always believed that God can restore anything if we want him to but do we ask or do we not ask bc deep down maybe we dont want it to work out. Pray about it and then follow your heart and consider in which situation would your child be happier.
2006-10-09 09:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by ElegantSweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, pretty easy for people to judge you that have never been through this! huh!
First of all. I'm so sorry! This is one of the most painful experiences to go through! We make these choices at young ages, have children, then find out the hard lessons in store for us.
1) Love your daughter and provide an environment for her that is loving and nurturing. This may mean leaving your current wife. It may not.
2) Get therapy to deal with the issues you are facing.
3) Don't lose hope. Take it very slow with your new relationship if that turns out to be legit.
These things happen. Take care of you and your daughter... and BE HONEST...
Honesty is best.
Take care, good luck!
2006-10-09 09:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Use my Yahoo! Avatar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay with your wife just for your daughter especially if you to don't get along.[you and your wife] that can be just as hard on your daughter as a divorce i know i did it for 7 years and my kids had a harder time with the arguing and us not getting along than they did with us splitting up. Think about it really hard and do what will make every ones life easier and happier you can still have a relationship with your daughter even if you don't live together. Good Luck with what ever you decide just don't leave your daughter out of your life and if you do leave sit down and talk to your daughter and make sure she knows its not her fault and you love her.
2006-10-09 08:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by LoKa Lisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never suggest to people that they should stay with their spouses for the sake of their children. I always say that it is better to have two happy parents living apart than two parents living together miserable. You have to do what will make you happy but be able to incorporate your daughter into your life away from her mother. Some kids find it a relief to see their parents in a happier environment and do really well. If you don't spend time with your daughter through these precious years before teenagerhood, you will find yourself missing out on a relationship with her for years to come. Good luck!
2006-10-09 08:50:36 · answer #9 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you married her, so, you must of loved her at one time!
What you should do, is go to marriage counceling, and see "why" you dont love her anymore!
Why destroy two lives, and involve a third, when YOU dont know what you want!
Being mature, means that you will live with your consequences of your actions. Marriage is "til death do you part", or, cant you remember those vows that you took, or, do they mean nothing to you? Your Daughter certainly will remember that you left her Mother, just because "Daddy had hot pants for some one else"...
Grow up man,and keep the marriage intact, and see some one about WHY you arent feeling the way you used to for your wife!
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-10-09 08:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋