I dont have traditional beliefs...im a bit of a free spirit im not at all sure about the concept of 2 people expecting so much from each other for the duration of forever...by the way i am 36 and have actually been married twice and yes im now single for the last 2 years and during my second marriage this concept kind of slapped me in the face so please dont come on here telling me that i will feel better when i meet the man i want to spend the rest of my life with...and im not bitter either,im actually pretty content but i do wonder if we were able to take lovers and live separately when we chose and didnt have all these rules and expectations,etc if the concept of marriage might work a little better....
2006-10-09 08:38:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for make me crz and anyone else that didnt understand...i am not married now for the last 2 years but have been...so im not uposetting my husband...if youre going to be pious,read the question!
2006-10-09 08:53:58 · update #1
There's nothing wrong with being a "free spirit". I think, there are as many ways to make marriage work and not work as there are people. I don't believe that for a relationship to "work", things have to be a certain way - I just feel that however things are, both partners have to be content with it. Committing to be together "for the rest of our lives" is a lofty undertaking, and I don't think there's anything shameful or wrong for one to say - you know what, I just don't think I'm up for it. As long as you're honest with the people you meet, you might just find someone who feels similar about the whole thing. I tend to be somewhat "untraditional" in my views and beliefs, but realistically I know that I would be fighting an up-hill battle if I was "too" untraditional, so I have to balance the "free spirit" mentality and realistic expectations. So far I think I've been able to find a good middle ground.
2006-10-09 08:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe getting married isn't necessary as far as commitment goes, there is no logical reason for people to be wed! I'm getting married next year but I know that it's just for everyone else I don't need a piece of paper or a ring to remind me I'm committed to this man I made that decision long before he asked me to marry him! Marriage is nothing but a ceremony for everyone to see proof that you two ARE in fact serious! I'm telling you whoever thought up the idea of being married should have been burned at the stake for witch craft!! LOL I do believe it's a stupid thing to do if that is a person's way of validating the relationship! I don't need a marriage license to validate it I have my heart and that is validation enough for me and him! We have had this conversation before we got engaged and we believe a lot of the same things I said in this answer! Our marriage is something we have discussed very often but as much as we oppose marriage the idea of having a wedding excites me and is one of the most romantic and intimate moments a couple can share when it is meant to be! I believe we are meant to be together forever and I would love to have a public way of bragging about that! But believe me I won't feel any more in love with him now then when we walk down the aisle! I just don't believe marriage is validation of a commitment!! I hope you can ubderstand my hypocritocal veiws on marriage and why it's not for everyone!!
2006-10-09 09:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by EriksSweetheart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure the narrative actually contained a question, so I'll just go with tag line question.
I am VERY traditional when it comes to relationships, marriage, faithfulness and so on. I don't think people should have sex or live together before marriage. I absolutely think that people should be willing to committ to each other, and only each other. I am all for doing everything possible to work out difficulties and differences for the duration.
I am not, however, opposed to divorce. Sometimes things just aren't salvageable. Cheating, domestic abuse, child abuse, drug/alcohol addictions are viable reasons for divorce. For the most part, though, a commitment is just that...and it should be honored.
2006-10-09 08:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by caylinn1996 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found that most people are selfish and divorce seems so much more easier than working it out. When you marry someone at 20 they are not going to be the same at 30 nor are you, the same goes after you have children. But, it seems that some people don't want to grow with each other, or work on the marriage. I can understand abuse of any kind or neglect or cheating but just because your arguing over little things a lot of people walk. No one wants to work at anything, some not all want the easy life...and its never ever an easy life unless you work on it. (God being number one) Love, trust, communication, and honesty. Without all of these combined there really isn't a marriage...
2006-10-09 08:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I got married aged 23, to the guy I'd been with since I was 16, and we lived together for many years before we got married. However,, Jesus met with me about 4 years ago and I became a christian as a consequence of that meeting, so now I take the Biblical view of marriage. I do believe that God created us to be complete with a lifetime partner, but I'm realistic enough to know that's a difficult goal. In my own family, who aren't christians, my mum divorced my dad and lived for 10 years with a man who finally confessed to being gay, and my dad remarried and divorced again.....my own 'happy' marriage nearly fell apart recently when my husband had an affair.......and my 3 best friends have all split from their husbands in the past 18 months. We are having couples counselling through the church and I believe we will make it through, but again I'm aware that will only work if we both want it to.
The truth is we live in a fallen, imperfect world, and although marriage is the ideal, and should be taken seriously and worked at above all else, there are times when all attempts will fail, because we are human and we fail.
The cost of divorce is not just financial, it's emotional, and extremly damaging to children ( I know this from my own experience, from what my friends' kids have said, and because I see it as a dinner lady.)
I wouldn't promote anything but marriage, but I would say go in knowing what you are getting into, and be prepared to work hard at it.
2006-10-09 08:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by good tree 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people who promise themselves only to each other. I believe God created marriage and considers it sacred. I think when we are married, we agree to forsake all others sexually and otherwise in order to honor the covenant we made. Marriage really does work if two people are working hard at it. It takes work and dedication. Sometimes, you end up giving more than your spouse. But in the long run, it is worth it. I know this concept is old fashioned and people think they have all of the answers these days. But sometimes, the old way is really the best way! There is a breakdown in our marriages and families these days with single parents raising children without moms or dads. Sexual immorality also leads to social diseases and the break up of families. This is really no way for kids to grow up. I think people should think long and hard BEFORE taking a serious step like marriage and go into it with their eyes wide open. They should not expect their spouse to make them happy. They should not expect unrealistic things from their spouse. There is security and comfort knowing your spouse is there for the long haul and that they want to grow old with you. Marriage really is a sacred partnership in which the foundation of our society is built upon.
There are those that choose not to marry. This is honorable too. I think it is better for some who are not willing or able to invest this much emotionally into marriage. It is a lot of work. I know! Be honest with yourself. There is no shame in being single if that is what works for you!
2006-10-09 09:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, the Jewish concept of 'messiah' is thoroughly diverse to the Christian one. Christianity took the unique concept and revised it significantly. The Jewish messiah is a classic mortal. he's born, he lives, he dies. there is not any '2d coming'. The Jewish messiah isn't 'god incarnate' by way of fact for Jews, it is blasphemy to characterize that G-d could EVER take human form. we don't accept as true with the 'trinity' yet of direction, we get excitement from that our Christian acquaintances sense it to be the actuality. For us, G-d is ONE, and can't be seen in separate factors or sides. the thought G-d is one is, certainly, the sacred guideline of Judaism. i think of it is worth noting that Judaism became the 1st faith to articulate the belief of 'messiah'. So it does get a tad exasperating while *some* Christians save telling us that Jesus and the Trinity could be contemporary in our bible, the Tanakh! they are able to't be got here across interior the unique Hebrew, by way of fact they don't seem to be there! :)
2016-11-27 03:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have only ever had one real boyfriend and i'm still with him. Not married though after 6 years together, a fancy wedding means an expensive divorce. until i am 110% sure i wont marry, and if that means i never ever do then fair enough. i dont expect a lot of him for the duration of forever, if things were ever to change between us then you just get on with life. we live together and share most things but we're only in our 20's. I believe in staying faithful to the person you are with, if i felt i was gunna stray then i would end it before starting anything else. Each to their own though, i know i guy who has been with so many girls behind his girlfriends back and he dont care!
2006-10-09 08:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by stacey 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you already know what you want, and a marriage license is NOT it. Live your separate life the way you want it to be. It's kind of a slap in the face to those of use who believe in the constitution of marriage otherwise.
2006-10-09 08:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by funrdhdpeach 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For me the institute of marriage is something that should be honored. There should be a level of expectations that should be up held. I think faithfulness comes with trust and love and should be a vital part of marriage
2006-10-09 08:45:14 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋