Passive Verbs and More!?

Question

My reaction to the short story “Light is Like Water” can best be described as confused and enlightened. Ironically, I feel a little baffled about the comparison of light and water, but at the same time I understand the reality of the story. I really enjoy the actuality of the spoiled brothers, who turn their small home into a navigable ocean, without the consent of their parents. This realism of ‘magical realism’ can be easy to understand, however, the magical part of it can make it seem dreadfully tricky. I think that in order to fully understand and appreciate “Light is Like Water”, one must read the passage, study magical realism and then read the story for a second time.

Can someone identify the passive verbs in this paragraph?
Are there any grammatical mistakes?
Any other suggestions?

Answer 1

It's not so much as passive verbs that dominate the paragraph, but inconsistent phrasings, such as "confused and enlightened." Can we have it both ways?

To use the word 'really' in "I really enjoy . . . " detracts as an empty intensifier or qualifier. The word 'realism' is redundant and I'd suggest a synonym in its place. The phrase, "in order to" is archaic, regimented, and unnecessary. Simply say, "I think to fully understand . . . "

The sentence starting with, "This realism (use another synonym for realism) of 'magical realism' . . . " reads awkward. I recommend removing the word 'however' and insert a semicolon after the word 'understand.'

The last grammatical error that shows strongly is the misuse of the comma with the ending quotation marks. The comma is, as a rule, inside the ending quotation mark unless the phrase or word is a set-apart quotation in itself.

Your last sentence needs one additional comma inserted: ". . . study magical realism, and then . . . "

Other posters might catch some different things other than what I listed.