I live with my man & our son. I work M-F 40 hrs/wk, have a 2yr old son, keep house, pay bills (phone, 1/3 daycare, 2/3 groceries, student loan, car loan, car insurance & buy the majority of our son's clothes), cook (he doesn't eat what I fix), do laundry & take 100% care of our son and yet he sees me as insignificant.
He works 48 hrs 4 days on & 4 days off and does overtime when it comes up. He makes more $$$ than I do and he pays the 2 utility bills. I have the weekends off and have my son with me both days even if his father is home he is usually with me. I don't get anytime to myself unless I take a day off work & then it is without pay. I tell him I need help & he tells me to get a better job. I ask him to clean the bathroom 1 day a week & he says that is my job, I ask him to help out more w/OUR son & he says that is a womans work. He thinks this article is what I should be doing. http://www.askmen.com/money/mafioso_60/87b_mafia.html##
What should I do?
2006-10-09 08:24:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Women are to be a helpmate not a doormat. That's why marriage is a partnership not a tyranny. It's also simple logic.
More will be accomplished when two do the work rather than one. I don't think it's an issue of him seeing you as insignificant it's an issue of him being appreciative of you which he obviously isn't. People are busier these days and the family role models of the 1800's won't cut it in the 21st century. Civilization has adjusted but your man hasn't.
You both need to seek marriage counseling and he needs to stop living out some idiotic mafia family fantasy he read in a magazine written by a guy who is most likely not even married himself. First off the article said a women should not voice her opinion. When did we get to Afghanistan? I ask my wife all the time "Where do you want to eat?", "What movie would you like to see?", "Should we buy a computer or a new washer and dryer?", etc.
Marriage is compromise and hard work on the part of both parties. Also this will have an adverse effect on your son who could grow up to find women subservient and when he grows up to realize that's not the way the world works "hello wife beater". I'm a dad myself and i spend as much time with my kids as i can get so i'll have more memories of them of them young for when i'm old.
He has to ask himself where are his priorities?
They sure aren't with you or your child so where are they?
Here's how my wife and i roll..
I do the cooking (hey i'm better at it ask my wife and my old girlfriends), laundry (better at that too), bathroom cleaning (i'm a neat freak in the bathroom) she does dog care, dishes (we trade up as i said i am a neat freak), makes the bed (i'm crap at that) and dusts and does general cleaning. I pay the rent and the power and water and cable. She's just now paid off her car so she'll be handling the car insurance now and gas and we split the cell phone bill she'll also take on putting money into the emergency fund. We also give equal time in the sack she gets her nights and i get mine and often we let improvisation reign.
Marriage is a partnership of equals with equal sacrifices and equal gains.
2006-10-09 09:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by sprydle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this what you want?
Do you enjoy being put down and forced to work hard? Some people do and there's nothing wrong with getting what makes you happy. So the question is, does this make you happy?
If you're not happy you should decide if his example is poisonning your son's outlook on life and if you think this is an unhealthy environment for your child you need to go.
What you shouldn't do is expect that your man will change to make you happy. Women have a notoriously retarded opinion that they will marry a handsome successful man and turn him into a loving compassionate man. Men don't want to change and women don't want a man who will be changed. At best you can help him understand how you feel about the relationship and hope he'll change. I'm guessing he's not a moron, he understands how you feel but he's not changing, stop wasting your time and annoying him.
2006-10-09 08:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by W0LF 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Without reading the article, my thoughts are that your man is expecting way too much of you. You're his partner, not his "do-for." Doesn't matter who bring in the most money. You share a home and a family together and should be sharing the responsibilities. He should care enough to share the extra work at home. He chose the job he works, eh? That isn't a golden pass to getting everything else done for him. Marriage counseling isn't a bad idea. My opinion is that you wont be content together until you learn how to compromise for the sake of "mutual contentment all the way around."
2006-10-09 08:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk about a devoted husband. I'm sorry but if i were you i would kick him up the A*** Women have to play mean to get what they want to. it sounds to me that he's being a bit to sexist there. A man needs to do a little of his share aswell. Tell him if he doesn't help out more and continues to be stubborn then do something about that. Every mother is entitled to a break. So just remind him that when he says all those things. Also he will act like he will not care but deep down he does care and sometimes men need to have a slap in the face to get them to notice
2006-10-09 08:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia16125 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was once in the same position you are in and one day I snapped and I packed me and the baby's clothes and left him to figure out what to do with the household goods. I almost had a nervouse breakdown because the upkeep of the home was left on me as well as taking care of the baby. That was in 1997 and I haven't looked back. He hates me for leaving, but I came to the conclusion, if I have to do all this stuff by myself, then I might as well be by myself. It was hard on me at first, but I got my stuff together now. I had to tighten my belt financially, but it wasn't like I lived a life of luxury with my ex. He worked 7 days a week 12 hr shifts and when he did take off, he didn't spend family time with his us, let alone our son, he would stay out all night, so I left and I don't regret one day of it.
2006-10-09 08:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL! various of the females above call it a purple flag and various of them are probable single. it is not a purple flag. he's in basic terms classic in THAT way, it does not say plenty in any respect. i've got additionally considered posts on right here that warn to run a mile from any guy who does no longer recognize his mom. a greater purple flag would be a guy who respected his mom if she wasn't worth of recognize - and not all mothers are. various women run away consistent with a misinformed hunch. you could examine the substantial issues to verify despite if or no longer a guy is sturdy to you. somewhat some effective words and agreeing with you is extra usually a purple flag than somebody who's truthful and does not flatter, yet will cope with you ideal, make an effort whilst it rather concerns. and not over some shallow womans' attempt like Valentines day, or the latest style in who alternatives the menu.
2016-12-26 14:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously very independent and able to pay for your own life. what are you doing with a P I E C E of S H I T like that. Strong women should not take that stupit crap. Walk out or do you want your son to grow up to be like him. Open your eyes you are better off with out a disrespectful MF.
2006-10-09 08:43:13 · answer #7 · answered by lluvia2wcc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a load of crap. My husband works two jobs and I work one full time job and he helps me clean the house and whatever else that needs to be done. If he cared about you and your feelings, he would listen and help. Go to a marriage counselor, threaten a divorce and if he still doesn't start helping, hire a housekeeper/nanny and make him pay for it. And a father is suppose to spend time with their son to teach them guy things.
2006-10-09 08:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by Xena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
either take him to counseling, or tell him to get those stupid ideas out of his head. If he isnt going to give you the respect you deserve, and help you out, then you need to find something better for you *and* your son. I mean, what kind of role model is he being for your little boy? Hope it all turns out well for you!
2006-10-09 08:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by piratewench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out. He has no respect for you what so ever. You shouldn't be afraid of being on your own, for you're basically doing it all now anyways. You deserve better.
2006-10-09 08:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by brokeninthebox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋