My husband of 10 years is addicted to World of Warcraft. He plays before work in the morning, from the time the kids go to bed until past midnight weekdays, and even more on weekends. Our marriage is suffering, needless to say. The game is his mistress and he spends more time with her than with me. We haven't had sex in months...yes, months. This has been an ongoing issue in our relationship for more than a year and seemed to be resolved for a while earlier this year. After communicating that I felt like I was taking a backseat to his gaming, he cut back on his playing time but has gradually regressed to his old ways. In previous conversations about why he feels he needs to play so much he has stated that he's tired & stressed from work and just needs the escape. As someone who suffers from depression, I am sympathetic to that and have a tendency to just let him have his space. But I have needs that are not being met. He knows this, but seems unwilling to change. Help?
2006-10-09 08:23:33 · 17 answers · asked by treefor3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unplug the computer. it does run on electricity you know.
2006-10-09 08:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Aubrey's mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, this is a great game - I play it, too. But your husband's preoccupation with it is downright dangerous. Addiction is not a good thing. It seems, the only remedy in this situation would be to quit cold turkey. I mean, where have you seen a recovering alcohollic having a drink or two every once in a while? Usually the addictive substance is given up completely - otherwise, you're in for a re-lapse. Try to have a serious conversation with him and see if he would be open to the idea of recovering from his obsession. Being that he plays so much, he's probably got characters that are all ubered-up, with epic gear and all; he can sell his account on E-bay for enough $$ for you guys to have a mini-vacation. I just don't think that "limiting" play time is going to work in such a severe case as his.
2006-10-09 09:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's an addiction and he needs therapy.
Call the cable company adn have your internet connection turned off (unless he plays solo campaigns and doens't need internet access - then remove his monitor, keyboard or mouse - or even his tower) you need to get his attention and tell him this is a PROBLEM and you want to go to therapy. In the meantime do NOT cook him meals, do NOT do his laundry, until he feels a little pain for HIS ability to ignore his family. Right now - he gets all he wants. So cut him off from food, laundry, anything.
But you need to have a frank talk. It's easy to lose track of time while playing games like that one. So set up some boundaries - give him an hour a night and set a freaking alarm and go in and turn the computer OFF on him when the alarm goes off. Or call a lawyer and have papers served to him. maybe he'll get the point.
(you could also learn to play and play it with him sometimes, so it isn't so isolating)
2006-10-09 08:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not married so I don't know.. but all I can say is that.. you can't stop someone of doing such things especially if he is addicted to it.. I understand that coz I'm addicted to computer games so much.. but that doesn't mean you can't at least lessen his time of playing games.. If you are aiming of letting him stop playing world of warcraft and focusing on the family, that would be like manipulating him and taking his soul away.. but you can let him play, but be strict sometimes and think of some ways to take his eyes off of the computer.. show him some anger, but not too much.. know your limit.. and that military attitude, show him who's the boss.. but don't step the line..
on the other hand, do a reverse psychology.. if you can't stop him.. join him.. go with the flow.. lol..
2006-10-10 15:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by Genei_Ryodan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation.
Gaming is an addiction like smoking, drugs, and alcohlism. Spending so much time on the computer with his "friends" can also lead to more intimate feelings to his female computer " buddies." I had to take a bold stand to finally get my husbands attention. When I packed his stuff and made him leave, he finally realized that I wasn't playing around anymore. He begged and I caved. We set up a scheduled amount of time that he can play games to unwind from work and escape. He also went through some addiction therapy. He was willing to see his problem and work through it to keep our marriage and our family. You would probably also benefit from marriage and/or family counseling. Good luck.
2006-10-09 09:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to make the effort to join him. If you have multiple computer you should join the World of Warcraft and play along with him. If he needs the escape maybe you could escape with him. Once your done with your work and the kids are in bed you could hop onto the computer and play along. Sexually solicit him from another room and see where the fantasy goes. And you know what, even if it doesn't work out you can tell him you've tried to go the extra mile and join him since he couldn't join you. He has to be able to see that. But, I'm willing to bet that if you can make that sacrifice and join him, that you'll end up with a better relationship for it.
2006-10-09 08:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough one. Cut off the Internet at home! Or you could just go and get yourself a great vibrator and he eventually may get jealous of it. Maybe after the kids go to bed, pull it out and use it in the same room that he is playing WOW in. That will take his attention away from the game. Do that every time you want to have sex and he is on the video game. (Don't forget to be a little noisy to get his attention. Call his name out too.) Then sooner or later he will remember that sex with his wife is the real way to get rid of stress. Or try to get it across,again, how much your marriage is suffering because of that horrible game! A friend of mine has lost almost all of his friends and most of his life because he can not break himself away from that game. And where I work the helpline for WOW is like 2 digits from mine, so like every 5 seconds I am having to tell these addicted gamers the right number to call and get their WOW account straighted out! That game really sucks! I'm sorry you are suffering so much because of another gaming company putting out products to make adults think that this is the way to get away from their problems and away from their real lives and hurt the people that love them so much, just to be selfish and play some stupid childish video games! DIE G4 TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-09 08:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont think hiding power cord or cutting off internet is the right solution. I would be so mad if my mom did that....she hates the game. me and my dad both play. my dad has to go all the way to the east coast to our house there on business pretty often, for me, its a fun way to hang out with him.
but as we both have lvl 60s and are in raiding guilds, on specified weeknights we are occupied for 5-6 hours. Me, i do that friday and saturday night. my dad has cut down ALOT on WoW, raids 2 nights a week doesnt play much more. I think its cus of my mom she said he plays too much, and also, honestly, hes getting bored of the game with 3 lvl 60's and a 4th fast approaching. so he plays much less, and only raids BWL on certain nights with his guild.
Basically....i think you should talk to him. it is just a game, but goddam its addicting!!!
You could get on and play with him, but i dont think thats best unless nothing else works. that kinda encourages him, know what i mean?
good luck!
2006-10-09 13:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to give it up himself. It's an addiction! Believe me, i know. I have 6 people i work with that play the game (daily) and only one has given it up after his wife asked him to. One of the other's solution was to buy another computer for his wife so she can play. They almost separated because of it. Hope it works out for you.
2006-10-09 08:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by ccluff1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor gal , must be real hard to play second fiddle to a game! I go along with the rest of em' all ...unplug the damn thing. computer? it can always go crash! need some help with crashing a computer...i am the worlds best at that.
2006-10-09 08:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get in his face and tell him that he's losing his family to his online addiction; tell him to either dial back his playing time or start marriage counseling with you.
If he doesn't see that as a clear warning, start packing.
2006-10-09 08:26:21 · answer #11 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋