o.k. some of you will hate it and say it's crap, but I thought it was funny.
Laziness
This rope that ties me down,
It won't let me go.
What I long to do,
I cannot do, for it is holding me still...
When will I be able to break through,
do what I want and to go where I please?
-squirrelfreak
(and I know this might not be the right place for it, but I couldn't think of anyhting else)
2006-10-09 08:10:40 · 15 answers · asked by squirrely 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
and I am not a beginer, I really am not a person that writes at all, execpt when I can't draw, so that is part of the reason why the poem is the way it is..
HEHE
2006-10-09 10:33:28 · update #1
o, and I like the poem down there by jackie, it is another way to write what laziness is.
2006-10-09 10:35:41 · update #2
Kibbles and Bits and bits and bits. Kibbles and Bits and bits and bits.
I buy them just for the jingle. Same with your poem :-)
2006-10-09 09:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by Ralph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a start.
How about this one?
Laziness
Laziness is the body that will not get up off the ground,
I can't smile, it keeps my mouth turned down.
I can't go and do, the things I want to.
I am so lazy I can't put on my shoe.
When will I break through, to do what I want and go where I please?
I 'll let get know as soon as I get over this cold,
but for now, I'll keep trying, Because I'm so Lazy I can't sneeze!
2006-10-09 17:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It's how I feel right now. Good title cuz it really does describe laziness. Last line could be a little better but that's all. Nice job.
2006-10-09 15:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by Low Point of Zenith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool. I like it. Though I'm not sure how it's really, really funny.
Check it out (I hate my poetry, its crap, but CHI)
Here I catch you lying down
Caught beneath the spoiling crown
Get up off your lazy @$$
Maybe something good will pass.
Hope you learn to work one day
Otherwise you'll fade away.
2006-10-09 20:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by High-strung Guitarist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it; it almost sounds like a riddle (What is the rope? Will breaking the rope enable you to "break through"?) I would love to see you expand this, though. Have a wonderful day!
2006-10-09 15:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by ensign183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an artist and that could be the answer way I'm not understanding your poem. Were is the funny bit?
Sorry but I don't like it or find it funny, but that is just me.
2006-10-09 15:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Aztec 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it a lot, your descriptive language portrays laziness very well. Very metaphorical in a way. Great.
2006-10-09 16:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by *Care Bear* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it didn't do anything for me but , don't get discouraged because everybody doesn't like the same things.
2006-10-09 15:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by joyous believer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its okay. its pretty blah. straight to point. its ok for a beginner
keep up the good work and ull get better
Good luck
2006-10-09 15:17:35 · answer #9 · answered by vick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that..its different and real, and explains how i feel right now..
2006-10-09 16:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by indianschick24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋