I really like him, and he sends me hints all the time that he is gay. I want to talk to him about it tell him how I feel, and hopefully he will tell me the same thing back. He isn't shy in front of me, he doesn't mind being naked around me, and he has played with my nipples before. But then he talks about the latest girl he is trying to sleep with, and acts extremely homophobic at times. I am confused by him.
2006-10-09 07:43:12 · 18 answers · asked by brcconnor 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Young people are often uncomfortable with their sexuality. Sexuality is something that develops over time, with experience. The kind of confidence that others in this forum are telling you to assert, might or might not be appropriate for you, depending on you and your potential partners' age and experience.
If you're both over eighteen, then by all means, be assertive. Otherwise, you might be a little more careful. Different people of the same age may have different levels of sexual maturity, so its always good to talk about things first, and discover where you both are with the concept, before leaping into something you may regret later.
Don't be afraid to talk about it with him. If he acts silly, or changes the subject quickly, then he's not ready, and you should find someone else who is a little more mature sexually, but still close to your own age.
2006-10-09 07:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by Todd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alot of mixed signals there...homophobic BUT he plays with your nipples? Why don't you just come out to him without asking about HIS sexuality? That way, you test the waters, see how he reacts, without insulting his perceived masculinity. I think most straight guys would have only a little trouble accepting a friend who was gay, but would be devastated if someone thought THEY were gay, like they just weren't masculine enough. Do that and you risk losing a good friend.
So tell him about your sexuality (without letting on about your crush on him specifically) and let HIM make the next move. If you're lucky, he'll say he's been curious too. But think hard before you do it because if he truly is that homophobic, you might still end up losing his friendship. Is it worth it?
2006-10-09 15:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by roobs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is quite difficult to tell if someone is gay. I think I understand the different attitudes though as my brother is gay my sister is straight and the last time I looked I was also straight. Just because someone acts Gay doesn't mean they are, I mean there was a guy in my class who always used to pretend that he was gay but it was obvious he wasn't. In your case it looks more like this friend of yours is indeed gay or at least bisexual. Though he is very hesitant about this girl so i wouldn't be suprised If I was you If he came and told you he was gay. another hint in your message is that he plays with your nipples. If you do reply could you tell me if he has ever flirted with you in any other way and if you've actually seen him flirt with a girl.
Hope you find this useful.
2006-10-12 13:09:10 · answer #3 · answered by PAUL N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see you asked this self same question 4 months ago if you don't know by now, the only way you ever will; is ask him straight out If what he is doing is true then I would say there is a strong possibility that he is or he could be curious about you and is testing the waters so to speak but you yourself have not answered his question. The only way you are really ever going to find out is to start rocking the boat. Good luck.
2006-10-09 17:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by stargazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married and in my mid-40's. Alot of people think I'm gay because, I'm in shape,good looking and athletically built. I would just ask them. Some people ask me if I'm gay, and I tell them no.I think they're asking because they're curious. Are you gay and want to know if you're friend is so you can hook up? I'm from Chicago, and have been to some health clubs that might have a predominantly gay clientele. When, I'm naked in the steam room, the gay guys look at me and start jerking off and licking their lips. I simply shake my head no and relax.
2006-10-09 15:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by ripdabs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is kinda play a trick on him like ask him if a girl is hot. I f he says yes listen to how long or how he says it. Or ask him what he thinks about the hottest boy in school. say that and see what he says. Just try to get easier to read signals OK. Or just act like your playing around and say your so gay and see how he reacts.
2006-10-09 15:51:53 · answer #6 · answered by Hollister Dude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know that you are gay? He may not be willing to admit it to himself, so if you ask him it may cause trouble whether he is or not. Unfortunately, I think that its part of life. If you want something you have to go for it. You sound like good friends, just sit down and talk to him about it. Don't pressure him and trust that his answer to you is the truth.
2006-10-09 14:48:47 · answer #7 · answered by melissa6119 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask him. If he can be naked around you he shouldn't take it too bad if he isn't gay. Good luck
2006-10-09 14:47:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him if he is interested in sexual play with you. If he says no then I guess he is not gay.
2006-10-09 14:58:41 · answer #9 · answered by Geo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it.. Just ask him, he sounds comfortable around you aready
2006-10-09 14:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋