My girlfriend and I have had a bit of a rockey time. Things where great at first. Because she is Bi-Polar, things got a little bit hard to handle at times. She was prone to bouts of violence for no reason. I ended up getting very depressed. We stopped communicating all together for about a week. One day after work she told me she wanted to leave. We spoke about things and both got into thearopy. After alot of thinking I decided I couldn't live without her, and asked her to marry me. She told me she Loves me, wants to be with me, wants to marry me too. But she needs to " get some stuff out of her system" before she's tied to me forever. She gave oral to a co worker while we where broken up. She said we are apart still and she needs to go out on a sex rampage w/ alot of guys and girls, for like a month. She said after we can be married w/ no hesitation and this is a one time thing. This is killing me. What should I do. Some ppl told me it's normal. Is this something that women usally do?
2006-10-09 07:24:30 · 16 answers · asked by Craig 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know the first instinct is to run like Hell, but we are broken up. We are not dating right now, but she wants to after this whole thing. She is on meds fo her Bi-Polar. She hasn't acted on anything besides this one co worker, whitch she said was a huge mistake. She said she cheated on everyone she ever dated except me and thats why she broke up w/ my 1st. She also said she dosen't know if she can go through with the sex spree. She said she knows it would kill me and dosen't want to further ruin any chance of us getting married. You guys might be right though, maybe she's too crazy to get married. I was afraid those where the answers I would get...
2006-10-09 07:51:58 · update #1
Bi-polar has ups and downs and one of the up swing symptoms can be having a 'sexual rampage'
Call a support group for friends and family of bi-polar persons, go talk and see if the behaviors your girlfriend exhibits parallel those.
Also, if you do marry, sign a pre-nuptial agreement. You may love her dearly, but the hell she is putting you through now may never stop.
Stay in therapy. Her bouts of violence are unacceptable. Men can be abused by women just as well as women can be abused. Your fiance needs more help than you can give her with love and marriage, without that help (anger management, meds for bi-polar, therapy and so on) your relationship may well be doomed.
These conditions your girlfriend wants before marriage (sexual stupidity) are not typical of either men or women in love.
2006-10-09 07:35:23 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Max 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes within a relationship there is one person (as you described your girlfriend) that most men would run from in a heartbeat.....and then there's her boyfriend (who stays, but isn't sure why, and doesn't know for sure if he should leave) such as yourself.
It might be that (1) you truly need someone to prod you into leaving and convince you it's the sensible thing to do, then after doing it you'll look back in life and be thankful you did that, or (2) you might be one that is psychologically attracted to this kind of woman and are willing to suffer through the necessary mental abuse in order to live for the more exciting, fulfilling moments with her. But option #2 will be hell too.
It's something only you can decide. No one knows your inner needs and tolerances more than you.
2006-10-09 15:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to tell you that it is NOT normal to want to be with other people... let alone if you are in counseling I would not call your relationship over... and wanting to stay apart for her to run off for some sex spree... do you really think you can look at her the same? Do you think that when you 2 go out together that some other man will be staring at her remembering what he did with her the other day... and then do you think you would ever be comfortable going to her work looking at the coworker that she gave a bj to? I would get out of that relationship and find someone new.
2006-10-09 14:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's normal for a woman, at least not for me, but it could be her fear of being monogomous, which could lead to problems later on. If my husband had told me that, I probably would have said goodbye just because when you love someone deeply and completely, I think the desire to be with someone else just isn't there, unless there's a problem, of some sorts.
Isn't it ironic how the person in every relationship who holds the most power has the least interest.
2006-10-09 14:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Katyana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely NOT a good start. If this is a sign of how she will resolve problems in the future then get a clue. She is not marriage material, at least not now. Be responsible and smart in this major life decision.
2006-10-09 14:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by dreamlander 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Get your butt out of that sick relationship. You gotta be kidding me! You need to have your head examined, man!
No woman does that kind of sick sexual perverted stuff unless she is like that. Most women, in general, are committed to the man they are going to marry, and would do loving things to make the man see that they are going to be a committed partner in the marriage.
You see what your life is going to be like right now and you still want to marry this sicko. Yeesh! You cannot be that desperate to marry, are you?
2006-10-09 14:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wanted to be with you and only you, having sexual encounters with others wouldn't be in her mind. Let her go. Let her find out all these things she needs. You do not have to sit around and wait for her nor should you. You deserve better. Someone who loves you the same as you love them, someone who will respect you and treat you the way you need to be treated!
2006-10-09 14:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really love her, wait for her. Honestly if I were you I would go do the same. Think about it, one person for the rest of your life?! Go have the same fun and get it out of your system. If the two of you care for each other then all of the rest is just meaningless sex right?
2006-10-09 14:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by DaRkViXeN 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you better run from that woman she really has a head thing going on,unless you want hell in your life for the rest of your life you let her go now
2006-10-09 14:29:22 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wake the H up and run like a bad out of hell. it can only get worst. an old say "you can't transform a hoe into a housewife." run run run run
2006-10-09 14:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋