me and this guy have been dating since april 2006. he is 9 years older than me he has 2 older son's that are 17 and 19. i have two younger kids 5 and 7. my kids are very wild that's because my parents have raised them while i was working 3rd shift for almost 4 years, but now i know that i have to train them all over again about displine again. he is very sweet and he's giving all the time in the world to move it will probably be next year sometime. he was telling me that he is getting to old and impatient that he thought he can help raise them, but i have been telling him it will be a changelle starting over with younger kids for 3 months before he brought the new house.. what should i do? how can we work it out?Will i have time change the kids behavior before my deadline.. i'm really hurt and he saids he love's me and that he wants to marry me. i told him once i leave there's no turning back was i wrong to say that , because he still wants to date after i move out. what do u think?
2006-10-09 07:20:44 · 8 answers · asked by TOSHA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're saying that you have been living with him after meeting him only 6 months ago?
Honey, the man is telling you he is tired. He's raised his kids. He's ready for some solitude, not another go-round. He's fond of you and would maintain a relationship with you as long as he has no parenting responsibilities and that is his right.
You have to evaluate whether or not you want to maintain a relationship on his terms. Lots of people date long term. Unfortunately, he's still going to be 9 years older than you ten years from now.
Be his friend. Let him find someone that he can share this season of his life with. He's giving you the gift of having the chance to find a man who will want to be your partner and a father. So take your heads up from this relationship, get those kids in shape, lovingly and firmly, and become the family your future man will adore.
2006-10-09 08:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY mother did the same thing to me. always put her men first and i was always 2nd or 3rd on her list. i'm an adult now and she's truly messed up our relationship. the only advice i can give you is to put your kids first and take parenting classes. your kids are innocent and they look up to YOU for how to behave, and who they will be as adults. if you always put some guy 1st on your list they will grow up to hate you. don't try to change your kids because of some guy, come on you're better than that. behavioral problems don't get fixed overnight, and you can't have a deadline for them, that's really selfish and not fair to them. sounds like your kids don't even really know you since you said you didn't raise them as little kids. when they're that little that's when you form a bond with them as a mother. i suggest you grow up, open you eyes and look at how beautiful and important your kids are. tell them you love them every day. teach them a daily routine. ex: wake up, brush teeth, breakfast, school, come home, homework 1st, then play, bath time, read them a book and tuck them in every night by 8:30-9 pm. this has to happen every night. after a long enough time they get used to the routine. focus on being a good mom 1st. your kids should always be your number 1 priority, your life, your everything. anything else like your social and love life should come second. if you can do this you will raise wonderful people that will love you and look up to you.
2006-10-09 14:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been there trying to be with a woman with kids but i dont have any the kids were bad but im a man and i put my foot down i let their mother whip them but i wasnt having no craziness i discipline them when she was there or not thats about being a man of the house i made a commitment to be a family good or bad times he has grown kids and he dont want no more kids deal with that and find a man who is down for you and helping you raise your kids
2006-10-09 14:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by reno_tony_casino 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since april this year...sweetie that's not long at all....you need to be focusing on your kids and not him sooo much....never put a man before your kids.....because when any man is long gone your kids are going to always be there....
Good luck honey....
2006-10-09 14:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by girlegyrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children should come first if he is telling you that he doesnt want to deal with your children move out. there is other man or just care about your kids.
2006-10-09 14:33:40 · answer #5 · answered by lluvia2wcc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave him and move on.
2006-10-09 14:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm. i think you need to find a new man
2006-10-09 14:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
inhale ... exhale .. now start again plz...
Dr Bad
2006-10-09 14:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋