When you know that your relationship is over how do you make yourself strong enough to actually end it?

Question

My boyfriend and I have reached the end of our relationship. I know it needs to end but i'm too scared to do it because I know I will be so sad.

Answer 1

You need to focus on the fact that its a lost cause and why its over.
Sadness is normal but time heals all wounds. It will pass.
Every day that goes by (with you not saying anything) is literally time for healing thats gone to waste.
Time wasted is
time LOST.

Answer 2

You mean you aren't sad enough now, knowing that your relationship is at an end? So you want to prolong the sadness, perhaps savour it, by putting off the final declaration?
If your relationship with him is truly over, then all you are doing is spending time together. Time that could be better spent with someone that you want to be with.
Now is the time to be honest with each other & call it off. Or are you afraid that by being the 1st to speak up, that you will be portrayed as the bad guy, so you are hoping that he will be the one to do it?

Answer 3

It's hard to untie yourself from somebody. Visualize what it was about yourself that made you the strong person you once were before you knew him. Remove yourself from the equation. Start doing the things that interested you before you became a couple with him. Hell, get another boyfriend to fill the gap for now; it always works.Good luck and happy hunting.

Answer 4

It's being scared of change that makes it so hard.

think of yourself and how happy you deserve to be. below is a poem a friend sent me:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

***So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. ***

So find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot;
who calls you back when you hang up on him;
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead;
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats;
who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "..that's her."

Answer 5

Oh, ouch. When you care about someone, sometimes it isn't easy to figure out what to do. It's great that you're considering his feelings, but turn it around - unless you plan to stay with him forever, you're going to acknowledge that it's over at some point and leave, right? Well, if positions were reversed, would you want him to stay with you when he didn't want to, out of pity?

'Course not. You don't want to be the one who hurts him, but it would be worse to stay when your heart isn't in it. If he's a good person, he deserves to find someone who wants him just as he is - and needs to be free to do that. He might be unhappy for a while, but that's natural. Respect his ability to survive this by telling him, with kindness, that it's time for you to go.

Nothing you say can make it "okay," but... if the reason is someone else, leave it out of this discussion. A simple, "you and I want different things out of life," or "we just don't communicate well..." Whatever the reason is, so long as it's not judgemental (this isn't the time to try to salve your own ego), honest, short, and kind.

Good luck!

Answer 6

It sounds like there is one who is concrete in their faith and one who still is growing in wisdom, looking for truth, but, not quite there yet. The fact that you knew she was already a Christian makes no difference. Your lack of a central focus and her tunnel vision to her focus is going to do way more than confuse the kids. Parents are supposed to give a united front. This can't be done with your philosophy or lack thereof! It's honorable to want to embrace all faiths and accept none but it shows a total lack of commitment. I would say she would be better off with someone of her own faith if kids are on the menu. Sorry, I know that sounds heartless, but my advice is focused on both of you, not just you.

Answer 7

would u rather breakup now and stop wasting ur time, theres, and lead things to an ending anyway, or would u rather break it off, make urself and them sad, and start healing right away? u are reaching a dead end, u might as well do it now then do it later or get dumped which is worse.

Answer 8

I know what you mean but what you have to remind yourself is that you will be sad but you will eventually get over it and move on. Staying with him your only prolonging the pain and misery. You cant start a better life until you do it and move on.

Answer 9

Just act "as-if." If you want to be stronger about this than you really feel you are, ask yourself what you would do IF you were stronger. Once you have the answer, you will do those things, acting "as-if" you were stronger than you really are. And, the net result will be that you will find out that you HAVE indeed become that stronger person.

Answer 10

its always easy to love someone but its never easy to leave them... sometimes people grow apart but their hearts dont. you just sit him down tell him you love him but to much has changed and i know it will hurt but if you feel like it over it may be but after the talk if he doesnt want to end it then just start over try new things go different places but if you are set on spliting it apart you need to know there is nothing you can do that will make it easy