If we are powerless to change things, why should we get upset about them?

Question

I was talking to a friend yestarday about the state of the world and, although we agree on things, she suggeted that there was no point in making yourself ill worrying about things if there is nothing you can do about them. I disagree. What do you think?

My friend is a psychologist, so she is looking at this from a mental health viewpoint, however, I feel if I can do anything to change things—to promote peace, to make people aware of the trouble our planet is in and what we can do about it—it is my duty to do it, even if I am a P.I.T.A.

Redrevers: I do not appreciate your using my question for your rant. I may agree with you if I could read it, but it is unreadable without punctuation and capitalization.

Answer 1

Worrying by itself will do nothing to help, of course. That doesn't mean the best approach is the ostrich-with-its-head-in-the-sand approach either. In countries where we are lucky enough to have freedom of speech and political choices, we can let our opinions be heard and we can exchange ideas. It may not seem like it's doing much, but each of us represents one 6 billionth of humanity. As that one six billionth of humanity, I feel we have a duty to do our part, as minimal as it might seem, to make the world a better place.
Having the courage to uncover lies when we see them, to be steadfast in our convictions even at times when they are not popular and may ostracize us, to be respectful of our dignity and that of others, to abandon the path of violence in our daily lives, to teach by example, to attempt to calm heated spirits when anger makes them irrational, these are all concrete ways in which we can lead humanity towards a better understanding.
There's a Buddhist story (I'm sorry I don't remember the exact source) that goes like this: The Buddha has a spoon and he is faced with an ocean of pain. He takes his spoon, and one spoonful at a time he gets to work emptying it. He never gets discouraged and even though it looks futile, the Buddha knows success is inevitable in the end. Others see his example and follow it. They become enlightened as well and help empty the ocean of pain in turn.

Answer 2

The best cure for worrying oneself sick is to do what one can.

Someone above my answer said to create an organization, but I say, why do that when, whatever problem you want to help with, there are already organizations working on them, and they can use your help.

As others have pointed out, it is important to distinguish things you can't do anything about (so worrying does no good and some harm), and things you can.

Yes, each of us is "powerless" in a sense, but there are people that are making things better. You can join them.

It distresses me that a psychologist is advocating political apathy.

No, I can't stop Bush torturing people (to take one example), but I CAN keep pushing, and help others who keep pushing and keep the issue in the public consciousness until we are in a position to close all the torture camps down.

Giving up dooms all of those people to continue to suffer daily torture for the rest of their lives. THAT can't be right. The very least we can do is punish (at the polls) every single person that voted to allow Bush to torture.

If all the people who hate torture but never vote had been voting, it would never have been allowed.

Answer 3

Point taken.
I hate to admit but your friend has a point there=P
There're just TOO many problems in this world for just 1 person to take upon, I mean if the world's top leaders struggle with it... what makes it easier for the everyday person like you & me?!
It's probably the perfectionist in all of us, in wanting the best or at least our version of a new "Utopia" on earth. And when it doesn't work out the way we want, we feel helpless.
As it is, frankly I've a lot of drama on my plate right now, I mean my life is chaotic & that's OK. And maybe that's how life is suppose to be.
Would I like to change it? Heck yeah. But can it be done at once? No. Someone once said & I quote, "you can have it all, just not all at once."

Answer 4

Don't remember the Serenity prayer so I will paraphrase it.
God give me the energy to change the things I can change. The strength to endure the things I can not change. And the wisdom to know the difference.
I helped to put a moratorium on the improper burning of toxic chemicals in Colorado. But, I could not stop the second battle of Wounded Knee. Only fight battles that you could actually win,because it is futile to do anything else

Answer 5

You are not powerless to change things, but how you respond to them is your choice. Feelings arise from thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. Worry can often be calmed by gaining more information about a problem. The two most powerful tools you have to change things are your wallet and your vote. Where you spend your money and who you vote for can change a lot more than you know.

Answer 6

Worrying is not the answer. About 90% of what a person worries about never happens. So she is correct about not worrying however take action if you don't agree with something. Vote, write your congressman or senator or the president. Form an orginazation. Do something. Worry and complaining with no action is not the answer and will not help.

Answer 7

Well, there's the "Serenity Prayer":
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

If there truly IS "nothing you can do about" something(s), then I agree with your friend that worrying about those things is fruitless and even harmful.
However, I also think that there are mighty few things in this world that you can do absolutely "nothing" about.

Answer 8

A lot of people get upset at things they cannot change because it effects them or someone thye love..we do have some power to change things in a good way or bad, it is just the desicions you make.

Answer 9

I have lived a long life and agree with your friend. Having said that we have many heroes who made a change and started something new. I am unfortunately not in that branch.

Answer 10

No point in worrying about it. Que sera sera. Take that worrisome energy and put it to use - get out and try to do something. But worrying never solved a damn thing.