what do Amiri Baraka "Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note" mean?

Question

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus...

Things have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there...
Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands

Answer 1

She has the blues

Answer 2

The author is struggling with his vocation of being a poet and his awareness of being a black American in the post-WWII era. You have to read the rest of the poems in the book to really get it--at the time Amiri Baraka was still Leroi Jones, trying to write in the high modernist style that was dominant in those days.