make it work but he has a addicition problem and makes empty promises, should I just stick it out until I give birth or go it on my own since I know he will not change? We have been together for years and already have a child together?
2006-10-09 07:02:50 · 13 answers · asked by lisamarie7901 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have done the rehab route in the past with him
2006-10-09 07:07:47 · update #1
Until he wants to get clean, he won't..unfortunately! You need to do what's best for you and your children. Staying with him will only hurt you in the long run. Tell him that you need to be in a sober environment with your children....Good luck
2006-10-09 07:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by candygrr1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, people have the power to change, but this is a choice they must make on their own, and as I'm sure you know, they don't tend to do so when there are people around that will accept this behavior. I think if you can leave him you should, for the good of everyone involved. Try to arrange to be with family, or maybe have someone come stay with you. You sound like a very strong person who's not fooling herself, but it would do you and your family well to have someone ther to support you emotionally, like a parent, sibling, or very close friend.
When it comes down to it, your children's father is going to need support to change as well, but it can't be coming from you right now. He needs to seek out his own help, as well as deal with the natural consequences of his actions, such as not being able to be with his family.
I think you should get out soon, as it seems you have made up your mind that a separation is inevitable. This will give you time to adjust to life on your own before the baby comes, and give him time (here I'm being optomistic) to start making changes before the child is born, if that is what he chooses to do. Where you already have one child together, it might be better for him/her to adjust as well to not having dad around before they have to deal with adjusting to a new baby on top of it.
2006-10-09 14:25:46 · answer #2 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame because every expecting mommy wants to be with the babys father and they dont realize how hard it is for us....If you know he wont change then try to leave him..I know its hard but its goingto be even harder for your baby to grow up around that...Give hima choice either the addiction or you and his baby..Ive been in your shoes b-4 and I know how you feel but I gave him an ultimatum and fortunatly he has changed and I hope we can have our family now...we are having a girl and that is what mostly changed him...Before when i didnt know the sex I thought he was a lost case...I really do hope everything works out for you...But b-4 anything think about wats best for you and your baby...Take care
2006-10-09 14:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by *Tiny Mommy* 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say leave now you need to be stress free for pregnancy and if its not going to work itsa not going to work a baby isnt going to change that PLUS if you stay then its only gonna hurt the baby more cause it will now its dad and have to suffer the separation too. if you go now the baby will always know it like the way its going to be without mommy and daddy together, it will be just be life to it
2006-10-09 14:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by Brandi D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me being the child of two drug addicts get rid of him now hes only gonna bring you down with him.and he has got to be the one that really wants to change my rule was to my ex 1 year clean and then well see.he hasent done it yet and its been 4 goin on five years now.so like i said dont waste your time let him show you he wants to change and really mean it .you deserve better any ways / because if he doesent love himself enough to change then there is no possible way for him to truly love anyone else and that includes you and yalls childeren. truth sucks and even hurts but trust me it will be worth wild when you do meet that mr right!:)
2006-10-09 14:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by lil niki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should end the relationship. It is not worth it if he will not change. The last thing you need to be doing is worrying and stressing about him and is problems. You should move on, for you and your children.
2006-10-09 14:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by LaAlicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Now. For your children's sake.
Once you've left him. IF and ONLY IF he goes the rehab way and stays there, you might consider joining again.
I
2006-10-09 14:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by Manolo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him an ultimatum. Then follow through. Maybe he does not take you seriously. Then by sticking to your guns maybe he will come to his senses and change.
2006-10-09 14:05:30 · answer #8 · answered by flaminfortune 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say end it. At best it will knock some sense into him, at worst you'll end up a free woman who can look for someone better.
2006-10-09 14:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him go until he agrees to go to rehab or you can stay with him and have a miscarriage from stress your choice
2006-10-09 14:05:40 · answer #10 · answered by reno_tony_casino 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋