and i'm trying to cope...but all i think is about having another baby. I have one who is 10 months..but everyday its in my mind. my husband doesnt want to try now he wants to wait till next year.,,but i cant wait...i dunooo wat to do.
2006-10-09 06:42:15 · 19 answers · asked by mustalooandariana4ever 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks in Jan. of this year. My doctor told me to wait two years and allow myself to grieve and learn to cope with the loss of my son. We currently have three daughters so to lose a son was especially hard on me and my husband. Everytime I saw a baby I just knew I wanted another one and soon. I honestly think that having another baby will help me in my grieving process because by that far along you truly love your baby, and as your kids grow you love them differently, it's not the same. So when I lost my son I still had that infant love that I needed to give. I finally convinced him to try again and we're now 7 weeks pregnant, but I will tell you, I'm not excited about this baby and I dont' think I will be able to get that way until after the 16 week mark because of my miscarriage. I aslo know that when this baby is born, I will still love my son and miss him terribly, but I won't be carrying around that added weight of not being able to give that type of love to a baby. I can't really put into words what I mean, but I've tried. You'll know when you're ready, and when you know you are, talk to your husband, it took my a couple of months of talking to mine to get him to agree, but tell him how you feel with no holes barred. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I promise it does get easier. You'll never "get over it" and you should slap anyone who ever says that to you. You will however wake up one day and realize you didnt' cry as much the day before. Your baby will forever be in your heart and a part of your life, but you will be able to think of him/her and not cry, it just takes time. Good luck to you and your family will be in my prayers.
2006-10-09 06:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would wait. It is worth it in the long run. I understand what you are going through, I had my first miscarriage when i was only 3 months along due to a problem i have with my cervix. I got pregnant soon after and i lost that baby at 5 1/2 months. All i want to do is have another baby, we are trying but its been 7 almost 8 months since then. Its on my mind all the time too. Your lucky, you have a child already. Maybe you should take this time to wrap yourself up in that child and enjoy those moments. I'm not telling you to forget about it, but that child needs you and your husband is right. You should wait, it is so worth it. And good luck to you.
2006-10-09 06:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by LaAlicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do feel so sorry for you. I know what you are going through. I had a baby die when I was only 17 weeks along. He was so tiny when I delivered him. 6 inches long and 2 oz. Going home from the hospital empty handed almost killed me. I then had a tubal pregnancy and just a couple of weeks ago I had a miscarriage. I definently know the empty arms is so painful. I so desperatly want a child it hurts. I feel some where inside me like there is another child that will come to me but I am also impatient and just want it now. I do know that when your body is ready and your family is ready you will have the enjoyment of having another baby. Just have patience or you will be so caught up in wanting a baby you will put your family in more stress that it doesn't need. I also know this first hand I have been driving my husband so crazy he was ready to just leave. I am here for you if you need to talk.
2006-10-09 07:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by castlecurly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I miscarried at 3 months as well, it's a terrible thing. My doctor told me it was very important to wait at least 3 months for my system to come back to normal, otherwise I could miscarry again because my uterus wasn't ready, especially if you've had to have a D and C. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to miscarry twice in such a short period of time.
I found this period of time was necessary to grieve and come to terms as well. Focus on that for 3 months and then see how you feel then. If you still want another baby immediately, then you can readdress the issue with your husband. By that time it will be January and into the new year. Please let your body heal before trying again.
2006-10-09 06:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by sarahjane1973 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. A few years ago I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. It was very difficult so I can relate. Just know that having another baby will not replace the baby that you lost. I got pregnant about 3 months after the miscarriage and had a healthy baby girl. I love my daughter to death, but every once in a while, I still hurt for the one that I lost. She didn't replace that baby and she wasn't meant to. But I can focus on my two living children and make the most of my time with them.
2006-10-09 06:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by cldb730 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry, but you need to let yourself heal physically and emotionally. Besides, if your husband wants to wait, you shouldn't go against his wishes. I've also heard new research that the risk of miscarriage if you don't wait at least a year between pregnancies is highter. So, it really is good all around for you to wait.
If you are still having problems coping, go see a therapist. That will allow you to talk it all out in a safe, non-judgmental environment.
2006-10-09 06:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. i had an unplanned pregnancy with my husband that ended in a miscarriage at 3 months. Even though we were not ready for that baby, I still just wanted to "replace" the baby. But, realistically, your body needs time to heal. it would not be good for you or the baby to get pregnant right away again. Hey, at least your husband will let you have another one! That counts for something! Food for thought: You will never stop thinking about the baby that you lost. You will always want to meet that baby, and you will wonder what he/she would have been like. Perhaps you even have a name for that baby that you think of him/her as.
My miscarriage was 2 years ago. I think about kaden (that is his name) all of the time, and to me, it feels like he actually exists somewhere. Maybe he's in heaven...I don't know. But, it's a matter of acceptance. A woman can mourn the loss of her baby as long as she needs to; but, at the same time, the woman must think realistically and continue on with life, and do what is best for her family, herself, and her future children.
2006-10-09 06:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by jesse s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your "empty arms" is understandable. You need to seek counseling and if you do not have a group close by that works with miscarriage you can always contact the SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) group in your area ( GOOGLE) and they ALWAYS take in miscarriage mothers.
You have a need to grieve this loss before moving on to another child. Remember what Dr. Suess said " A person is a person no matter how small" Your husband may be worried about your health--both mentally and spiritually and he is hurting too.
Please share your grief with him and seek some help.
I will be "rooting" (and praying) for you.
2006-10-09 06:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by samantha h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear girl mourning you child is natural & right.Chances are your husband is too, in his own way. Let both of you heal for a time. Your body & soul. The little one was an angel as all children are & went back to God. You needn't worry about that. Time will come when you will have another. Now enjoy the angel you have. Let his love help heal you. That is a beautiful, pure love. God be with you.
2006-10-09 07:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some girl scan neg for an at residence being pregnant scan once they particularly are pregnant. I could make a apt along with your obgyn and while you agenda your apt i could deal with your main issue. They will by and large order a urinalysis as good as blood paintings. The urinalysis would possibly learn again neg because it did for you however the blood paintings would possibly exhibit you're pregnant. Regardless should you pregnant or now not you must speak in your DR approximately this.
2016-08-29 05:34:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋