Alright, honestly who among us wants to admit this? Not I for sure. I love my fiance dearly. Nothing, including his parents, is going to keep us from being married. That said, how much mistreatment am I supposed to tolerate? His mom basically told him to choose between me and them. He chose me. Seems simple enough. But he is miserable. So I guess either way I am damed. I can tell he wants to have a relationship with his parents even though he was told to choose. Am I just supposed to pretend they do not say hateful things about me? Am I suposed to pretend I don't care how they treat my kids? Am I supposed to ignore when they do and say something hateful to a person I love? I really do not understand this. Why would anyone want to put themselves through all of that. I would be very content to turn our backs on the whole hateful situation, but that doesn't really seem to be an option. So has anyone else been through anything like this? If so I would appreciate any words
2006-10-09 06:29:56 · 7 answers · asked by Liz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh how I wish we could move. But he has very little kids from his first marriage in the area. So we need to stay near them. I have tried to talk to them but it is impossible. I have made it clear I am hear to stay. Problem is everyone else in the family yes mams her. I refuse to bow down to her. I was walked all over in my first marriage and will no longer be a door mat for anyone.
2006-10-09 07:43:24 · update #1
Oh trust me I have told him many times he can see his family whenever he wants I just refuse to go there. I refuse to come between him and his family, they are the ones issuing ultimatums.
And by the way, if you are under 18, please keep your hateful opinions to yourself. Wait until you live life a little before trying to pass judgement on an adults life and situation.
2006-10-09 07:51:17 · update #2
I have been through it. Move away...not too far but not close enough for daily trips. They'll miss him and come around. Do nice things for them no matter how much it hurts...that will bring them around too. if the 2 of you give them grandchildren...you know that will bring them around as well...got a few courses to choose from.
2006-10-09 06:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's something very important that you need to keep in mind...THEY will always be his family. They were his family before you guys got together, and if for some reason you guys break up, they are still going to be his family. I know it's hard..been there done that..but the thing is, you've got to find a way to be the bigger person. Your fiance has every right to see his family, AND have a relationship with you. His family had no right to ask him to make a choice like that. You need to let him know that you don't have a problem with him seeing his family. He might think that you don't want him to see them and that you expect him to choose as well. At the same time, if you are going to marry this man, you need to realize that these people WILL be in your life forever as well. I would suggest talking to them and letting them know that you love your fiancee and nothing will come between you, but also let them know that you have no problem with them being in his life either. It's hard to be the bigger person, but in this case, you're gonna have to be. As far as how they treat your children...I'm a mother, and let me tell ya, I don't care WHO someone is, NO ONE treats my children badly. When it comes to your kids, you do need to stand up for them. Do not let someone else treat them badly! I wish you the best of luck in this situation. I know it's hard.
2006-10-09 13:45:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. MP 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is terrible. Just be careful, because no matter how much he says he is on your side, he will always be hearing their opinions in his head for a long time to come.
2006-10-09 13:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you hate them, have you tried talking to them? Tell them that, you know you guys have differences, but that if they want their son to be happy, then you all need to compromise. Basically, tell them you aren't going anywhere and they need to accept that because it is hurting their son.
2006-10-09 13:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by JENNIFER G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would strongly suggest that you put some physical distance between your family and the inlaws . It will be the inlaws lose on haveing a relationship with thier son , grandchildren and you
2006-10-09 13:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by crazy_ol_hippie_radical 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sadly, he made his choice but is not man enough to dictate them conditions for a peaceful coexistance ... if they cannot treat you and your kids with respect, he is honor bound to break all contact with them and focus on his current family.
it is not your issue, it is his to solve
2006-10-09 13:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason why he shouldnt have a relationship with his parent my husband does i just dont go with him. his family wont have anything to do with me so i dont have anything to do with them simple.
2006-10-09 13:40:19 · answer #7 · answered by rose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋