Yes, I know that everybody is different and humans vary WIDELY. It's one thing to refrain from judging a stranger. But when a person has voluntarily interacted in my life in some way (friend or lover), I assume they are more like me than others. If I liked or loved them, it is shocking to find out they would do something I never imagined. It seems like I could deal with it if they told me why. Do they even know why? Why don't they tell you if you ask them?
2006-10-09 06:19:57 · 16 answers · asked by charleston chew 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
You are too self-absorbed to realize that NOT EVERYONE THINKS JUST LIKE YOU DO.
You also hold others responsible for the way you choose to feel. Get over it. Your feelings are your responsibility. No one else wnts that job. No one owes you anything. They do not need to justify or explain to you.
You assume that your perception of something means their intent. Maybe they didn't intend for you to feel the way you choose to. You can't hold others responsible for the way you percieve something. That's alll on you.
Before you go reacting emotionally, you should pause for a minute, and let them clarify their intent. You might just realize that (since not everybody thinks just like you) you could possibly be wrong about something. Suck it up.
The world does not orbit you or cater to you. Grow up. You can find most of the answers to the questions you have by simpy looking in the mirror. 90% of your attitude is how you handle the 10% of what happens that you cannot control. That's called character. Get some.
Most of the problems you face in life are the ones you create. Problems and obstacles are opportunities in disguise. Look for the opportunity to learn, grow, improve, and overcome something.
You should choose not to remain a professional victim.
2006-10-09 06:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a very unhappy control freak with control issues.
Live and let live and remember this little bit of wisdom someone taught me a log time ago...
You have no control over how anyone else will ever chose to treat you or deal with you in life or relationships. The ONLY thing you CAN control and have control over, is how you ALLOW them to make you feel as a result. Getting upset, ignoring them, inciting riots and starting arguments, confrontational attitudes are all a CHOICE YOU MAKE!
Just move on... What difference does validation of another persons rational make when it will never mean anything to you anyway. You are not them! It will never make sence.
In the act of forcing explinations... Your demanding, gives you a sence of regained dignity and self respect. It is however a false sence of both and should be rethought.
Taking responsability for the way you allow yourself to feel as a result of any outside influence of anything or anyone, is very empowering. Learn it and you'll be much happier and not have to consult armchair warriors (at best) who only tell you what you want to hear because they too do not want the truth in return.
2006-10-09 06:25:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that everyone feels that way to a certain extent. The important thing is to not get fixated on it. It's very hard not to, I know. And to assume that everyone is like you, well that will just cause you pain, because at the end of the day, the only one who is really like you, is..well...YOU.
Sometimes when you have pain inflicted on you by someone you felt you knew, it's feels as if the sense of betrayal is unbearable because you opened yourself up to that person and now they've rejected that in some way.
I know it feels like the end of the world right now probably, but hang on, and with lots of time, it will get easier, but for your own well-being, quit asking why and move on to how, as in how am I going to turn this around and become stronger from it.
Oh..and one final word...you ask if they know why...the reason is usually unanswered because the person can't bear to think of themselves as selfish, and usually the reason is at it's most basic, a act of selfishness.
2006-10-09 06:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people feel that they somehow caused the thing to occur.
Sometimes they did. Othertimes it was completely on the other peson and the first person did nothing to cause it. But it's this feeling of "I must have done something wrong or something to trigger this bad thing" that makes you long for an answer when many times there is no answer other than the other peson is a free being with independent thought and they made a choice. Regardless of how it impacted you.
Sometimes seeking an answer is fine other times there is no answer to find.
2006-10-09 06:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by John 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are seeking validation for your hurt. You want an explanation why you feel the way you do. Sometimes people don't have reasons for doing stupid things -or- the reasons are so immature and selfish that they can't even bring themselves to say it. It's easier to say "I don't know" than say "I cheated because I don't care enough about you to be loyal."
Maybe you should work on those coping skills or you'll be facing a lifetime of hurt and resentment.
2006-10-09 06:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's good practice. Most people when they experience that will just hate back. But you drive to know WHY...
I do that to, because when we fear something, or don't know an answer, we try and LEARN!!
Don't let anyone tell you you are a drama queen for wanting to learn. Weather it's facts you are learning, or human tendancy: knowledge is knowledge. It's something you have to srive for. Sound like you DO move on when something like that happens...
You just want to know WHY. And that's okay.. It just shows YOUR personality, an intelect.
So I leave you with this quote:
Life's A bi*ch then you die, F**K the world, lets get high.
Never stop learning.
2006-10-09 06:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok, i dont normally like to do this ( i am a psych major, and this drives everyone crazy) but you asked so: you crave love, but that's a natural thing. some people need more love than others, and some peole need everyone to love them. that is a sort of neurosis, but it doesn't sound as though that's you. i think that you are just an extremely sensitive person, and it takes you longer to get over things that may have hurt your feelings than others. embrace it, its a good thing! just as long as you don't let this trait drive you to depression!
2006-10-09 06:31:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do, so hopefully I won't make the same mistake again. I know I'm not perfect and want to know my part, if any, in the grand scheme. I have, through tough lessons, found out that the problem isn't always me. Sometimes it is. Sometimes people do things just because they can and there is no logical or rational reason for it. Sometimes people want to blame you for their issues so they don't have to take responsibility for them.
2006-10-09 06:36:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Any attack is terrifying. What makes us begin to calm down and regain some sense of safety is to know WHY or WHEN such attacks occur. So any explanation is welcome. The alternative is to have to worry that we could be attacked again at any time with no discernable warning - not a very pleasant thought.
2006-10-09 06:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by All hat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because you're codependent.
what the hell do you need to know? he freaking hurt you, is there anymore closure than that? of course not. do you want more of a reason to feel like you're the freakin' victim? quit drowning in your own sorrow and go on with life. think about it: is any person important enough to sacrifice your own personal happiness? i sincerely hope your answer to this question isn't yes. because if it is, i'd slap you...
2006-10-09 09:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Dizzie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋