2 months ago we had few arguments about him talking to atleast 10 ex girlfriends and i proved my point how disrespectful that is and he stoped.but he also stoped having sex with me.he doesn't want to touch me,hug me,kiss me -nothing.and when i asked him he said i'm too needy and whant too much from him..we both have our daily stress but he is definitly avoiding me...he sleeps on the couch and i'm in bed...for 2 months!!he also said he has a problem with getting it up,but he has pillls (cialis)and using them(there r few left)and still not having sex with me...i love him and i'm pretty sure he loves me too but this is starting to hurt me...i gave him time and space to come to me(he rejects me if i come to him)and it's not happening....what to do?what to say?he doesn't want to go to marriage counseling..thanks
2006-10-09 06:19:54 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like there is more going on with your husband than he is telling. No excuse to sleep on the couch for 2 months. Even if he cant get it "up", doesnt mean he cant sleep in the bed. I would sit him down and sort it out. A good marriage isnt made from "sex", but from communicating. Try and start talking and sort it out. Good luck.
2006-10-09 06:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by Vonnie S 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry to hear you talking about all this, man have I been there. My husband hit the couch, had secret calls on his cell phone, I had hang ups at home, he would go out more and completely distanced himself from me. He was having an affair. We worked it out after I left him, we got back together, but I can honestly say, these things you listed are definitely red flags and if he doesn't want to go to counseling, please sit him down and try to communicate. Communication is a key factor on weather or not a relationship will make it. You need to ask what he wants from this relationship. If he refuses to talk then ask him if there is someone else, cause you feel you deserve the respect of knowing. If still nothing, then maybe you should review your options of leaving him, things will only get worse, not better if ignored.
I feel horrible for you, even if there is no affair, seems there isn't much of a marriage either. You may be like me and not be able to support yourself alone.... I had to move in with family and it was horrible and probably a main factor in me moving back home.
Good luck, I really do hope it all works out and you are worried for nothing.
2006-10-09 13:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is taking cialis to be with someone else. I don't know how you proved your point showing him how disrespectful he was but it shouldn't surprise him. If he has an erection problem he needs to discuss it with his doctor before taking medicine. Spouses are to be supportive of each other and take care of each other's needs. Just this alone without really knowing what's going on can cause major stress in your daily life. If he will not go to counselling with you then go alone. While you may love your husband, he has a strange way of showing he loves you.
2006-10-09 13:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really up to you. Do you feel that it's time to walk away? Are you ready to make that commitment to yourself? You guys have already separated yourselves emotionally and semi-physically (by him sleeping on the couch). If he doesn't want to try marriage counseling, why don't you try some one-on-one counseling and sort some of this out. Make a commitment to you, to either work this out with him, or leave him. If you don't make up your mind for yourself one way or the other, you will regret your decision. Best of luck honey, and I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
2006-10-09 14:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him if he is not having sex with you then he is having sex wilth someone . He is a loser and he is being abusive treating you like that . If you can afford to take care of yourself then do so and tell that loser to hit the road and dont look back . Sounds like he has a g/f waiting in the wings. Put him out and put him out now and tell him you are going to file for divorce on the basis of mental cruelty .Good Luck . remember being by yourself would be better than being with this loser.
2006-10-09 13:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is having sexual relations with someone else. Missing pills and avoiding any contact with you- hmm! sounds to me like you should get your self some counseling and plan on being without him, in time you will feel much happier without this stress. Good luck and stay strong you deserve better.
2006-10-09 13:28:17 · answer #6 · answered by aleiah126 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to start getting it from else where. It sure sounds like he is. Make sure he knows about it too.
Or you could just tell him that if he doesn't start putting out like a good hubby you are not going to have trouble getting it from someone else. Hey, you have needs too, it's not all just about him. If he doesn't get it, it's time for divorce.
2006-10-09 13:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he wants the relationship to end but keep the high ground by having you do it.
2006-10-09 13:46:09 · answer #8 · answered by airmonkey1001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pissed him off. You stole his thunder and now he doesn't want to have sex with you it seems like. I think he just liked all that attention he was getting from other women, and when you told him to stop, he knew he shouldn't continue and got angry, because he didn't get his way. But that's my opinion.
2006-10-09 13:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to think to yourself that you have suggested everything possible to he and he still rejects you. it's time for you to pack your bags and go the stress from home and work its not good for you and on your health... he's found that someone who makes him feels wonderful inside other than you.. it's time for you to move on i rather be happy and stress free alone.....
2006-10-09 13:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by TOSHA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋