I love my husband very much. Our sex life suffers sometimes because of work, kids, etc. I have noticed that if we skip over 2 or 3 nights without having sex my husband starts acting really cold towards me. When I ask him what is wrong he says, "Well, you act like you don't want anything to do with me." And I asked him, "Is sex the only thing that shows you that I love you?" And his answer is yes. So I guess all of the other things I do for him don't matter? I guess I could treat him like crap and do nothing around the house, and as long as I am having sex with him on a regular basis he is fine. I don't understand this.
2006-10-09 06:04:06 · 19 answers · asked by LadyA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
While sex is a wonderful way to express love and caring for your partner and will obviously remind an individual that you find them attractive and care about them... your husband sounds a bit insecure. The fact that he turns cold after only a few days shows that he is rather insatiable when it comes to the reassurance that he gets from having sex with you. I would understand if it had been weeks or months since the two of you had last been intimate (and this was unusual for your relationship) but a few days? You're right... he should feel appreciated because of all the other things that you take the time to do for him and your family. When you have work, kids, etc. he should feel rather lucky that you have sex with him more than once every couple of weeks! :o)
2006-10-09 06:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I heard somewhere that men associate love with sex. Let me explain. Women are more able to talk about their feelings and do small things to show their love. While men often think that sex is their way of showing their love. So if the woman they love doesn't have sex with them, they take it as an insult. They think that they aren't loved anymore or as much. I guess what I'm trying to say is that women are more vocal about love while men are more physical. It's their way of expressing their love with the woman they love. So that sounds like what your husband is thinking. I bet if you ask him he'll tell ya the same thing.
2006-10-09 13:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by T.G. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm in this situation I feel more like your husband. In other words when my husband turns me down for sex because he is tired , I feel cold towards him. The way that I got over it was to cuddle with him even if i knew sex was unlikely. It was hard at first because it made me randy, but then I realized that sometimes cuddling leads to sex. I don't know , Maybe suggest that he cuddle with you and that might lead somewhere, but maybe not.;
2006-10-09 13:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are probably in your twenties or early thirties... This is the peak sexual activity time for a couple. He needs it often and so do you. But his perceived need for sex is different from yours. Most women can do without it and not miss much. But a man denied sex when he needs it crushes his ego. He feels rejected and starts looking elsewhere. So be careful. Let the house go once in a while...and love your man!
2006-10-09 13:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by rejoiceinthelord 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I dont either, but my husband gets edgy if we dont have sex for 2 days. He also thinks it means that I dont love him, or more specifically that I don't find him attractive. We talk about it every time it happens and he apologizes and I then try to convince him that I love him and find him attractive. It is a never ending cycle. Try talking to him about it, maybe it will help you both, but talk before he get like that because it will just be a fight if you try to talk about it when he is being cold.
2006-10-09 13:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sex is very very important for men. If your husband wants to have sex everyday and you don´t or can´t (for whatever reason), try to compromise.
Also, he might feel rejected on an unconscious level when you don´t have sex. It´s not his fault. Perhaps couple counseling could help.
2006-10-09 13:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by Polete Brasil 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't mean that you don't understand it -- you mean that you don't accept it. It's easy to understand, because he spelled it out in very simple terms. So, accept that he is different from you. Needing sex in order to feel close to someone else is a very common phenomenon. Be happy that he has told you how to stay feeling close to you -- a lot of people don't even know what they need.
2006-10-09 13:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever explained to him how tired each of you are after running around and doing all kinds of things and working and dealing with the kids? It is so perfectly normal to not be into sex during stressful times.
2006-10-09 13:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle R 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
sex is a big deal it's importnant 4 men and women to have a healthy sex life. If I go a few days without it i'm not as happy.
2006-10-09 13:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men have to feel like they are wanted just like women want to feel like they are needed, Maybe you should start making dates with him, like maybe every Wednesday and every Saturday make some time together at the end of the day and see if that helps.
2006-10-09 13:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by Heather C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋