Lets say you start having a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy. You hook up three or four times a month. This has been going on for almost four years. We have so much fun together, but we never talk about our feelings. How do you have have something so intimate with someone for so long and not have any feelings?
2006-10-09 05:54:24 · 14 answers · asked by marie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Neither of us have other relationships. We havn't even went on dates with anyone else.
2006-10-09 07:07:09 · update #1
WHO exactly is not having feelings?
Not suprised if it's him... it's a very convenient way of getting... something without being committed in anyway... Ahh, friendship! What an extensive notion !!! And freedom! That guy is really lucky! Does he has any more... friends? Sure?
I'm sorry if I didn't get your question right, but I have the "feeling" that you would like more... stability. Ask yourself: who is calling who? Who decides when you two meet? Do you know more about the guy? Maybe he's married... that wouldn't be the first!
Anyway, be prepaired to make a decision if YOU feel uncomfortable. It's your life, after all. And don't be affraid to gently bring the topic in discussions with him... at least you'll know where you stand.
2006-10-09 06:10:15 · answer #1 · answered by Doris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like YOU may have feelings and he may just still be in it for the bennies. Does he have another relationship? Do you? Do YOU want it to change becasue if you try to change it and he's not ready you may wreck it altogether. Go slow and listen to his words and watch his actions and be prepared that if you decide to make the first "words" move it may be over. Evaluate how you really truly feel about him before you do anything!
I am voicing this opinion from experience and as an added note I will tell you that we've been married for 37 years now but it had to be HIS idea to move farther than "friends". And back then the benefits weren't as cool as they are now! It was more like I was the little sister or girl next door. :o)
2006-10-09 13:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by AKA FrogButt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at it from a guys persepetive, personally I think you should probably tell him how you feel or if you cant then make another move on him and if he accepts it then you know he has more fellings for you and he doent still see you as a friend and by making a move i mean by getting more inimite with him. I think he proably does have feelings for you and if he doesnt then w/e there are so many other guys out there unless the real problem is that your getting to attached to him were he still sees you from a more casual perspective
2006-10-09 13:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by Who 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's harder to hide your feelings, or not develop them, for a woman than a man. It's natural that you want something more with him. Tell him what you're feeling, with the stipulation that if he doesn't feel the same way then things can go on just the way they were. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll have feelings too. Worst case, he doesn't want to sleep together anymore... then you go seperate ways and next time, find a REAL relationship.
2006-10-09 12:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by jamiesacademyofdance 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it did start out as feelingless and so it remains. i guess since it started you both saw it as something impermanent and just a fling kinda thing. now a couple years later after doing this multiple times you find that you do have feelings and that you want to share them. but the only problem is as it started so shall it end. this may not be true for all cases though. maybe you should start talking about your feelings and watch his reaction. you'll know when it happens it has a thing of doing that. just wait for it. or if you prefer, act on it.
2006-10-09 13:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by Valhalla * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No such thing as "friends with benefits" the feelings are there but you are both afraid to voice them. You never talk about your feelings because you don't want to be the first to admit you have feelings. So sad. If you didn't have the feelings for this person you wouldn't be asking the question.
2006-10-09 13:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by valarie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think it is time to have deep intimate talks. Sex is the physical connection, but if you don't have the deep spiritual or intellectual bond, it will always be a surface oriented relationship. Try talking about the deep things - that is real intimacy.
2006-10-10 08:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by [B] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying he does'nt have feelings? As a young girl you should have more pride in your self and not let guys treat you like that.I would be asking myself why do I put my self thru all this drama. If you think you love this guy than be bold and let him know the truth,maybe he feels the same. Take a chance.
2006-10-09 13:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by nancy r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex does not equal Feelings! Sex is a biological urge... NOTHING MORE... Its very easy to have sex and not have feelings for eachother. If you havent committed yourself to eachother then both of you are still keeping your feelings outside this relationship. So NO... Niether of you would have feelings for eachother unless one of the people did so without the others knowledge and thats bad. That could lead to problems. Good luck, hope this helps.
2006-10-09 12:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know. I'm going through the exact same thing, but i feel bad because does have feelings for me but i don't for him.
This is so confusing!!!
2006-10-09 13:00:15 · answer #10 · answered by NAT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋