I am looking for a male opinion/advice. I have been in a serious relationship for a year and I am now living with my boyfriend. I was using his laptop to check my email and when I was finished, I went to delete my webpage history off of his computer. When doing this, I noticed that he had logged into My Space a few times and checked his ex-girlfriend’s profile page. It was an accident that I noticed this but now I can’t get it out of my mind and I can’t talk to him about it. He dated her for 4 years in hs and college and they still talked for 2 years up until we began dating. He doesn’t like to talk about her because she cheated on him a bunch of times and when I bring her up he gets very frustrated. From a guy’s perspective, should I be concerned that he still has feelings for her if he is checking her profile but never wants to talk about her? We live together & never fight and he hasn’t seen her in over a year, but whenever he acts distant, I worry until I'm sick. What do you think?
2006-10-09 05:42:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Firstly, it's ok to talk, talking is healthy.
Secondly, you have to talk to him about this, if you are in a healthy relationship there should be no secrets.
Thirdly, tell him to get over her, he's with you now. Not her.
Fourthly, He will get defensive about you checking his history, and will likely get upset and bring up issues of trust faith etc. so be prepared for that.
Fifthly, why are you deleting your webpage history off of his computer? Do you have something to hide?
Sixthly, He had a six year relationship with a girl, likely his first love. Ask yourself this question; will you ever lose feelings for your first love?
In summary, he's just checking her profile, big whoop. If he goes any further than that then it's a problem. You have to confront him about doing it. Good healthy relationships are based on Honesty, openmindedness, and willingness towards each other.
2006-10-09 05:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by phjamo2021 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always have some kind of feelings towards all the people that touch your life one way or the other. The fact that he's checking out her profile is not a problem.But if his ex is a taboo subject is a proof that it is still a big issue for him. This is not necessarily a big problem, since with time I'm sure he can forget more. But 4 years is a lot of time... If you this fact makes you feel less "special" I don't see any reason why you shouldn't somehow force him to move on. Maybe an ultimatum. But bringing up the subject without uncovering your "find" is a tough one. But if it's really as innocent as you are putting it, I wouldn't have any issue telling it straight out.
2006-10-09 06:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Hesse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably looking at how much of a slut she is , he is with u and everything is great , then y bother about her, the more u focus on her the less u focus on him(whats more improtant 2 u? DUH) and he makes u happy right u live 2ghter right u were a little nosey but u have that right trust me when i tell u if he gets mad when u bring her up , he does not have good feelings towards her < he knows about her 2 b a friend 2 her and thats all, trust me he does not want old used goods been there done that already.
2006-10-09 05:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by q45dip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he is curious about her doesn't mean he still wants her.
For example, I HAD this best friend who stole thousands from my father. I hate him and don't ever want to contact with him. But, I still look him up on the internet to see how successful he has become.
I am just curious. He may have that same curiousity.
2006-10-09 05:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by The Ultimate Nerd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, that you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes us guys check back on profiles of pplp that hurt us to see what they are up to and if life has revenged them for hurting us. I don't think that just because he is checking her myspace profile, he has feelings for her. So I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship w/ him
2006-10-09 05:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by russianguyfrombrooklyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is checking up on things from the past especially if they are no longer friends then he has not let go yet.
2006-10-09 05:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by firefighter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you better talk to him....be prepared for a row about snooping....keeping secrets from each other is no foundation for a solid relationship.
2006-10-09 05:45:51 · answer #7 · answered by silentnonrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He come home every night to you right? That is all you have to worry about. If he doesn't want to talk to you about it, don't stress the issue.
2006-10-09 05:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by CHIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax.
2006-10-09 05:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by b4_999 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a guy but if you trust him then you should be ok he probably will always have some feelings for her just make his feelings for you stronger...
2006-10-09 05:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by True 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋