I am 17 years old and i am graduating high school early. I am wanting a child so bad. I know that i am young but i am very good with children i really want to be a mom. I think i am ready i know practically everything to know. I have wanted a child for a long time but i wanted to make sure that it was with the right man. I am with the best man alive he treats me like a princess. He is great with children. He wants a large family and he wouldn't mind starting A.S.A.P . Please give me some advice.
2006-10-09 05:21:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Honey, I am going to approach this question with finesse. At the age of 17 (which I was once) you think you love someone when it is lust. You need to understand that once you have a baby that baby is yours till you die. Example, my oldest son, age 36 needed to come home for awhile. You are paying for the use of electricity, water, food, gas, cash when they come home. You need to LIVE your LIFE while you have the chance......meet MANY men. Don't do what I did........got married at 16......divorced at 17.......pregnant at 18.......married for second time at 18. I did not have a "party" time till I was 35 when I finally divorced my second husband. YOU are way too YOUNG to think of tying yourself down with a baby and a man. Think about it hun, you could go on to college, pursue your dreams. I know, I know, your dream is to have a baby but a baby is NOT a toy hun. They need alot of care and time. If you are good with children then go to your nearest hospital and ask if they have a maternity ward and if you could assist in some way. You are around babies and you can get your "fill" there. I do not want you to think that I am judging you, that is not my place. I just want your life better than mine was as I see what you are headed for if you choose to do this. Please, think about it before acting on what you want.
Good Luck !!!
2006-10-09 05:33:32 · answer #1 · answered by DERLANDSON 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be in such a rush to start a family. You are still young and have a long life ahead of you. Remember, being good with children a couple hours at a time is not the same as taking care of them 24/7. Children are not cheap. You have to be able to afford food, cloths, diapers, miscellaneous baby toiletries, pediatricians, medical expenses, formula, daycare, school, etc. It is going to be hard to do on a minimum wage job, which is about all you'll get without a college education. You should NOT have a child intentionally if it causes you to end up on Government assistance.
Another thing to consider is that you body is still developing and have a child will be hard on your body.
2006-10-09 12:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by princesschubbybutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get married, get to know eachother, and make babies.
Theres nothing wrong with your ages, except that knowing what you want is hard to pin down. But some people just know. When i was your age all i wanted to do was to get married and have a family. It took me two more years to find the right guy, but we did get married and now we're starting a family.
I can advise you that EVERTYHING changes when you get married. Its a completely different game than being boyfriend girlfriend, and even different from living together just like you're married. The first year and a half are hell. Ive never met anyone who got married and didnt go through the hardest parts of their lives that first year. Its hard learning how to be one person instead of two.
If you can wait to have a baby until after that, it will really REALLY make your lives better.
Dont get pregnant until you're married. You will regret it, i promise you. If he can be committed enough to you to put a ring on your finger and take care of you, he certainly wont want the added baggage of an expensive needy child AND woman. No matter how great you think he is, no matter how much he says he'd never leave, it doesnt matter. Dont make that baby until you're contractually obligated to eachother by marriage.
And then make sure youre both ready for the non-stop drill of family life. It means working at work 8-10 hours a day, and coming home and working the other 16-14 hours and trying to find some sleep and time for being married.
Its hard, but people do it all the time. Just be committed by marriage.
2006-10-09 12:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice would be to wait... all you seem to think about is having children, but you havent mentioned what your going to do in terms of working (to support the child) or what you boyfriend is going to do... are you two living together? are you going to find an apartment or house together? does he have a job now, or on a great career path that will be able to sustain having a child right now, and especially having several children since you say he wants a big family. being good with someone elses children and babysitting for days or even weeks, is not the same thing as having your own child 24/7... my advice is for both you and your boyfriend to ask yourselves these questions, and if you have not communicated the answers to these questions with each other, then you are definitely not ready...
2006-10-09 12:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lin B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to college, get a degree, get a job, and then have kids! A large family takes a lot of money. A happy family takes a lot of money. I know money can't buy happiness, but there isn't anything else that you can use to pay the rent, electricity, water, cable, buy baby clothes, diapers, formula, baby food, toys, car seats, strollers, bottles, wipes, shoes, socks, rattles, mobiles, cribs, playpens... you get the idea. With only a high school education it will be hard to support a big family. I know 4 years seems like FOREVER, but you are graduating high school early, you are apparently a very smart girl. I bet you could get through college in 3 years. Then you will have so much earning potential. You could get a teaching degree and teach school. That would give you a decent income and lots of time with your kids! Please think abou the future a little more than the present.
2006-10-09 12:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by anniewalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. However, I think you're too young to start a family. You have so many years ahead of you. Please keep in mind that taking care of someone else's child (babysitting or visiting) is nothing like having one of your own. You should be thinking about college and your future career right now. You have plenty of time to have a baby. Another thing you should consider is that while I know you're in love with this man right now, no relationship is fail proof. You should work on getting yourself financially and emotionally secure prior to getting pregnant. That way, if (God forbid) the relationship ends you and your baby will have no worries. Never start something with a man that you can not finish on your own if necessary. I know you don't want to imagine this possibility, but be realistic and be careful. Think with your head, not your heart sweetie. Good luck!
2006-10-09 12:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by krs1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three kids and you need to know the finances of having children (e.g. monthly bills on diapers, formula, clothes, furniture...). Why don't you ask around other young mothers and see what they are going through at that age. If you are starting out with a guy together, why don't you figure out how much rent, utilities, cable, cell phone will be and how much is left. I want you to be in the best possible position to suceed if you're going to start a family that early.
2006-10-09 12:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by blessedroad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if its a good idea. if i were u, id go to college first. trust me, itll pay off in the end. and besides, how do u know that ur boyfriend isnt just a high school thing? id be careful, and not rush. think about the life that ut child will want, and how ud give ur child/children that life. id just think and talk to ur boyfriend about it. u may want to get married first so that u know that he's real with u.
2006-10-09 12:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAD MY FIRST CHILD AT 17. IT WAS COOL BECAUSE I HANDLED MY OWN. MY MOM WAS A BIG SUPPORT TO ME AND THE BABY THOUGH. SHE DID NOT PUT ME DOWN FOR HAVING A BABY EARLY. I AM LIKE THIS, IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE READY AND CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF A BABY WITHOUT IT BEING AN INTERFERANCE RIGHT NOW, THEN GO FOR IT.
2006-10-09 12:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all pray, if it is your time he will know,
second offer to help out in a daycare, see the children in all ages, see if you are still ready.
please pray, children change everything BUT they are a great blessing....
pray
2006-10-09 12:30:38 · answer #10 · answered by april 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋