My best friend isn't acting like a best friend. What should I do?

Question

We have been bff since about 6 years. But over time she has changed. She used to criticize me and try to tell me what to do, and try to plan my life for me. If I miss one day of school, she would always be like "you're gonna fail, blah blah" and then once i wanted to go to a college weekend event to a college but she said i didn't need to because i was never going to get in anyway. and a while back my mom took my cat out of my room and i said "no!' and was just kidding and she said "but it's not funny. you're 18. it's not funny." like i can't have a sense of humor because I'm almost 19. and here lately now she's at college and i don't have a phone to use right now, i tell her i can email her, so i do and she never writes back and i know she has time because she messages her other friends and stuff, and goes with them to a lot of places. I haven't talked to her in about 3 weeks. I don't even care anymore. I feel like I don't care if we are friends even after being bff long. What to do??

Answer 1

Sounds like she thinks she is better than you in some way. She also sounds like a control freak. I don't think friends should order eachother around. If she didn't agree with something you said or did she should just let you know her opinion, but not scold you like she's your parent. If you feel like acting immature and silly sometimes then you're entitled to. Just find friends that like that about you and ditch this one that seems to be trying to change who you are so that she doesn't look bad. I say that you need to move on and find a new best friend. One that won't hold you back and someone who is not so controlling.

Answer 2

Soundds like perhaps the two of you have grown aparat- or out grown each other. You sound like you have different personalities and they are not coinciding peacefully with one another. I am different from my BFF but we remained BFF's because no matter what that is my girl- hands down, I am there for her and she is there for me- even when I was 4hours away from home at school and she was even further in Disney doing an internship!!! I think that perhaps you should call her occassionally and then gradually let her go if she does not come around. Her ignoring you may be her way of silently telling you that she no longer feels that the friendship is strong enough for her or that she even wants to remain friends. But don't be down- you will find a true friend- a real friend may not act like you or even agree with some of the things that you do but they are always there for you-even if it is to smack some sense into you.

Answer 3

I can't figure out all that your talking about, but it sounds like she was never a good friend. A good friend cheers you on, not discourage you from doing better. Now she's moved on with her life and you're at home. Invite some healthy people in your life that may be doing some things that you want to do. Then start the first day of the rest of your life. People come into your life for reasons, seasons and lifetimes. You have to know when to let folks go that are only meant to stay for a season.

Answer 4

well think about it this way -
she is probably one of those critic people
maybe she has a problem at home
maybe she is jealous
but whatever you do do not throw away a friendship because she is being bossy and rude
talk to her
my best friend and i developed this thing
when we get angry at the other person for whatever reason
we just write each other an angry e- mail
this way the person who gets it doesn't feel too bad and understands the problem
it is much easier communicating while in a fight by e-mail
than screaming at the other person
write to her one of those angry e-mails (say you r mean , bla bla bla bla bla ) and ask for her to write back
if she answers with a rude remark then you r right - forget aqbout her
anyway good luck
i hope these things will help you

Answer 5

It sounds like you need to push her aside. Who wants a "BFF" who always critisizes you and says such rude stuff like that? I mean, you're like an adult and you need a best friend who will be a bit more laid back and won't be so mean.
Give her some to cool off. If it was a misunderstanding allow her to come back into your life. You're almost 19 and it's time for you to meet more people and focus on the other things in your life.

Answer 6

Get used to it! It is very painful but also usual & common. Different things bring kids together and when they grow up other things come between them. Whatever the reason (eg. she might be jealous of you for some reason you can't even imagine, you said sth she cannot get over etc) a friendship falls apart it is very rare for people to mend it & start being friends again. As I am sure you will make many new friends I wish that you never loose one again!

Answer 7

Hmmm what to do... sounds to me like she is a very dominate person and sometimes that is a good thing espeacially if they have your best interest in mind when they boss you around. And if they don't and only have theirs interest first, say like (oh you can't wear that people will laugh at us and i wont go any where with you looking like that) then their not a good friend at all. but if they say (hun that shirt really doesn't match that skirt at all, try the other one it would look much better on you, but if you really want to wear it go ahead at least people will notice us lol...) then yes thier a good friend. Most people only find out when bad things happen, who their really friends are, and some friends can be people you only see once in a while but when you are together its like you never where apart. And yes people and friends do grow apart but if their a true friend even that can't destroy it. but if sheis, acting like you said she is. Then i would say she is trying to avoid you. maybe she thinks now that you are no long at the same school or doing things thats she is, maybe she is trying to end it cause she thinks you are no longer in the same group or league and she doesn't want to make u feel uncomfortable or she could be doing it to be a total bi*ch. and as you said, she does make time to message her other friends. If it was me i wouldn't try and make any effort at all to get in contact with her, if she gets incontact with you then take it from there, but i wouldn't go out of my way to see or talk to her, let her come to you. and when and if she does contact you, sit down and say hey why wont you answer my messages or phone calls but you do for your other friends. lay everything out on the table, she may have a really good reason but then it could be a really bad reason then you will know for sure if she is worth it or not. but like i said before, to me she sound like she is avoiding you and if that is the case (from what you said it is) i wouldn't bother with her she's not a real friend and while your running around trying to get intouch with her and that, you could be getting on with your life making new friends who could be a lot better than someone who critisize you and puts you down all the time. It doesn't matter how long you where friends 10 yrs or 6yrs if their a true and good friend they would make the effort, freinds are like relataionships they always need to be worked at and if only one is making the effort then it will never work. think off it this way if she doesn't want to be your friend its her loss not yours...I hope this helps.

Answer 8

I was best friends with someone for over 25 years and when I started to get treated like crap I told her to hit the road and don't come back until you develop a soul. She never sounded like a best friend in the first place. Get rid of the negative bit*h.

Answer 9

It seems like she doesn't even care about the friendship anymore. But sometimes, best friends are not forever, some people are lucky, their best friend is always there for them. This is life, get over it, and maybe you can find a better friend to be your best friend.
Wish you good luck!!

Answer 10

if she plan your life that is so rong, i mean friends are suppose to give thier time to you, and time is precios because you can never get or buys it back no matter how much money you got. friends are suppose to be beside you, charing for you, caring for you and help you to deal with your everyday problems. remember friends are for life, forgive your friend for her doings and just walk away because her heart is now stray away from the wonderful time you guys use to do.