Is this how he has learned to deal with the social anxiety? If so he's done the same thing that I did when I was in school. I hid it with my talking and the shell I put on myself. How can I help him? Husband doesn't want him to go to doctor for it or put on medicine I have to make sure he is able to be fixed by me I don't know if I can keep being super mom.
2006-10-09 04:44:10 · 9 answers · asked by KayAlley 3 in Health ➔ Alternative Medicine
i have never thought of the autistic part yes slight, he's always been emotional and crabby when he was even a baby. no kisses and didn't really want hugged. But he hung off of me and just wanted held all the time but no one to change his diaper or just do anything but hold him. He can't accept he's done wrong he blames anyone else or anything else. Sure some of the stuff is normal but most of it isn't.
2006-10-09 05:08:37 · update #1
It's possible that he is autistic, although it sounds like only slightly, or it's possible he is just like you. I think it's important to take him to the doctor for their opinion, just stress that you don't want drugs and they should be able to directs to books and other alternative help. But if it's the same thing you experienced than who better to help him but someone who went though it themselves. You may need someone professional to help you to help him, this might never be fixed but it can become manageable. If your husband still has reservations explain to him the stress your feeling and tell him that a healthy, happy mom is one of the most important ingredients for healthy, happy children. Maybe you should also consider the reasons why your husband doesn't want him to go to the doctor, does he not want the drugs which you will ultimately decide, or is he afraid of the diagnosis that could change the way your child is treated.
2006-10-09 05:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by emilypye 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, please don't take offense at this...I don't mean any. But I just wanted to give you something to consider: Consider that he's a normal child.
Americans have a tendency to call EVERYTHING a disease. In a way, it's great that we recognize certain things as symptoms and take advantage of scientific advances in pharmaceuticals to help us live better lives. But somewhere during this progress, we've put a full third of our children on meds that only a small percentage of them need. We've labelled anything and everything that's the least bit unomfortable a "symptom" of some "disease" that requires medication.
EVERYONE on the planet shows signs of social anxiety at some time or another. How this got to be a disease, I have NO idea. I suppose this is particularly true of a four year old being in social situations for the very first time in their young lives. In a simlar vein, kids talk nonstop. Welcome to parenting an 8-year-old.
When he's 13, he'll swear he's never going to talk to you again. For now, you probably just have a normal, chatty kid. My sister and I never DID shut up and still talk excessively at family gatherings.
Certainly, if the child seems manic, if he talks about "inappropriate" things, or if you truly think there's a problem, get help! That's what it's there for. But it could be that he's just coming out of his shell, finding himself, and is a talkative child. There really isn't anything wrong with that. Kids ARE active, they ARE fidgety, they DO talk a lot about nothing at all...these are symptoms of being a KID, not of having a problem.
Good luck! I hope he truly is a healthy boy!
2006-10-09 04:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by CuteWriter 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no one sign that indicates that a child has social anxiety.
Here are some things to watch for:
crying, throwing tantrums, clinging & freezing
poor eye contact
speaking very softly and/or saying very little, even nothing when at school
frequent claims of illness so as to avoid going to school
refusing to go to school (According to the Montgomery(1995) approximately four out of 10 socially anxious children refuse to attend school because of their anxiety)
experiencing severe anxiety about exams
appearing very anxious when the centre of attention
unwillingness to participate in class activities such as: show & tell, debating, reading aloud, raising their hand to answer & ask questions
devoting an excessive amount of time to computer games
being constantly alone in the playground, hovering on the edge of groups, not joining in, having no friends or one or two friends
spending a lot of time alone in their room (Schneier & Welowitz (1996)
I do not know if the excessive talking would be part of social anxiety or not. One of the symptoms of ADD is excessive talking. Have him evaluated soon as the sooner a diagnosis then the sooner treatment can begin and help him in his social and school work areas.
2006-10-09 05:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by swomedicineman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing your son a disservice by not taking him to the doctor. My son went through the same thing (he is 10 now) and was diagnosed with ADHD. Without medication he would have no friends at school right now. He needs them to help his brain make the right nero connections so that he knows how to slow his mouth down.
Even if you research and try alternative meds for him, do it now so that he can have an enjoyable childhood.
I found a great message board with the most knowledgeable bunch of Moms around you might try posing the question there and I know you will get some great responses and suggestons.
www.millermom.proboards107.com
Goodluck and get your son some help, just being a super Mom won't do it for him.
2006-10-09 04:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Magrathea I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think talking excessively means that he's hiding from social anxiety. He's a healthy 8 year old boy. If he didn't talk at all I would be worry. Is a stage every kid has in their life. Is healthy that he talks, remember, afterwards, when he grows up and doesn't talk at all with you because he's busy with his friends, you'll feel bad. But if it makes you feel better take him to a doctor to make sure isn't anxiety problems. Hope it helps.
2006-10-09 04:58:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway
Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?
2016-05-17 05:36:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll probably grow out of it as long as you don't make a big deal about it. He might be using it as a coping mechanism, but he will eventually feel more comfortable and it should get better. Besides I don't know many 8 year olds that don't talk you head off. I think its normal, don't be so quick to medicate a natural process.l
2006-10-09 04:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can help him by helping yourself! Sounds like you are passing your habits to him. (don't worry we all do it) The best answer is to openly work on improving your own social skills and he will follow. It is important to allow him the choice of how fast he grows, don't force him to do things he doesn't want to. Listen to his needs and he will blossom at his own rate. Meantime you can be doing your all important growth as well. Blessings on your journey....
2006-10-09 04:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was just a phase.
2006-10-09 04:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by ANGEL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋