Well... for details (which might help)... I didn't grew up thinking I was capable of being loved or being attractive; I have this certain "fear" of falling in love or being loved or being shown interests. I also have inferiority issues... I often stutter.... etc., etc... phew!!
This is really embarrassing but I've always been figuring things out for myself... and it's really getting tiring... so i'm also taking my chances here... ;)
2006-10-09 04:39:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thank you for the pieces of advice guys...
2006-10-09 04:58:34 · update #1
Parents teach self-confidence by giving their children jobs to do..encouraging them to play sports or join clubs..volunteering and participating in family activities.
When you have to teach yourself to have confidence I guess you do the same kinds of things.
2006-10-09 04:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing the cause of what makes you feel and think the way you do is a good start. Noone can help you, not even yahoo answers but yourself. You have to change your inferior attitude by taking risks and facing your fears. I suggest that you try skydiving. It's a really liberating experience. I promise you'll be a new person after the jump..
2006-10-09 11:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by lanisoderberg69 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accomplishments always buld you up. Master a skill or talent. Try something new, something that you are afraid of. Dot it anyway. Get good enough to teach it to others. Teach others a skill.
As far as your social anxiety (yes, that's what it's called), know that 2 in 5 people have it to some degree or other. Focus all that energy you waste on your own fear and insecurity, outward. What I mean is, instead of hiding behind your anxiety, become an extrovert. That's not as hard as it sounds.
What you do is, smile at everyone you see or pass by. Make eye contact with anyone who smiles back. Hold your head up with your shoulders back. This posture conveys confidence and when you smile, you convey friendliness. People often mistake shy for aloof. Don't do that.
Next, when you're standing in a line, make a positive observation or give a compliment to someone. Notice something good and point it out. Follow up with a question. This shows respect, admiration, acknowledgement, and appreciation. It gets someone's attention, and makes people feel good.
Make it all about others, not yourself. Everyone wants the same things (appreciation, admiration, to feel important, liked, special, etc). Give that to others. it will come back. I promise.
You will notice yourself feeling more popular and welcome. When you make people feel good about themselves and noticed, they wil be more receptive and want you around. You will start to feel more fulfillment inside. Your stutter will begin to fade.
Granted, the first step is easy. It involves subtle and indiret communication. Just remember that everyone wants the same things (as yourself, too). Cater to those "hot buttons". Pay more attention to the ways people go about getting noticed (how they dress, what they drive, what they talk about, where they hang out). You can't do this if you are focusing on yourself.
Take a chance. Make someone's day. It will feel good. You will like it.
As far as your fear of falling in love, you seem to have anxiety about being vulnerable. Being in love involves sharing emotional intimacy. That means revealing your most secret thoughts and feelings to someone (those that you wouldn't tell another living soul).
Typically, males commonly suffer from such fear of intimacy issues (thus earning the "player" stereotype). It is not at all uncommon for females to suffer as well. It is usually from harboring baggage. People who have been abused, neglected, or hurt in the past often have bagage from it. Baggage contaminates relationships. Including your relationship with yourself.
Get to know people. Date different guys and keep things light. Don't get too personal with anyone. When you do meet a guy who attemtps to build a relationship with you, you will know it. his behavior, things he says, and things he does, will match with what he claims to feel for you. When he starts to open up and reveal things to you he wouldn't tell anyone else, you will see the door of intimacy. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Take a chance.
We all fear rejection and hurt, but not all of us let it destroy who we are. Some of us seek wisdom and let it add to our character. Those of us who are brave enough to take a chance, have greater character than those who sit back and expect great things to come our way........and feel chronically disappointed.
Don't be like that. Just do it.
2006-10-09 12:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and center yourself; remove all doubt from your mind of your competance in a field. Then picture in your mind what victory means to you -- what your endpoint on your goal looks like. Then either write it down or draw it out.
Whenever you panic, look back at that picture and encourage yourself.
There are other religious ways, but for now try this and let me know. :)
2006-10-09 11:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by Icewind 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I like to face my fear's, like I have a fear of elevators but I ride them Farly ofter
2006-10-09 11:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by cbrianburke 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just start saying positive things about yourself and eventually you'll start believing and your self confidence will improve
2006-10-09 11:42:35 · answer #6 · answered by accvining 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love yourself! always feel good. be presentable always. never become a mediocre and always have this on mind: as long as you did your best, there's nothing more to prove, God knows it all!
2006-10-09 23:11:35 · answer #7 · answered by hitherto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try going to see a doctor, we are not in person. A doctor will be, & will be able to talk to you more about this. It really does help.
2006-10-09 11:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by StarrLee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Set attainable goals and reach them you will feel better each goal reached.
2006-10-09 11:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋