how do you get over your spouse cheating?

Answer 1

I would seek the help of a professional counselor. I wouldn't go with your spouse to begin with. I would do some reflection of where you want your life to be in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. and decide if the cheating is something that you feel you can live with for the rest of your life.

I don't believe in the "once a cheater always a cheater" but there was something that caused your spouse to stray. It could be distance between the two of you, a difference in the way that you want to live your lives, your spouse fell out of love ... the possibilities are endless ... but continuing to badger yourself or your spouse for these answers has to start with you and a professional that can just listen and then offer advice based on their unbiased opinion.

If there was enough reason to be married in the first place, you owe it to your marriage to discover where the problems began and then decide if you want to continue with the marriage.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Truthfully you never get over your spouse cheating. You just take life as it comes and keep moving forward. When a spouse cheats it destroys the trust. It makes you doubt yourself. You also blame yourself. You think what did you do to deserve this.

You just learn to forgive but not forget.

Answer 3

I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think you will ever get over it. I have been in the same boat as you, and its like a knife that rips at my heart everyday of my life. I have been told to get over it, grow some balls, and any other sorry way that one could think of, but these people have no idea what its like until it happens to them. You love them, and refuse to give up on them, but in the back of your mind, you are just waiting for it to happen again! Yeah, it will happen again probably, but until you decide to do something about it, you will live your life in total hell. You can tell yourself to forgive them and forget it, but that just don't never happen, does it? I honestly think, the only true way to get over it is to let go of the cheating bit-h, and tell her to her face that you have decided to leave her. Be honest, and tell her you can't live with knowing once a cheater, always a cheater is there in your mind 24/7. I have decided to get on with my life, and I think you ought to do the same thing. I would save all the money I could that she don't know about, and go ahead and get an attorney. The main thing is to do it in a fashion that you will come out to the best. They say the easiest way to get over someone is to find someone else, but get the paper work done before you do that, or you might end up losing when you go to court. I wish you all the best. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

My first wife cheated on me. It was an extremly painfull time. The only thing I can tell you is that it just takes time. I remarried and have a great wife and two wonderfull children. When I look at my children I think how they wouldnt have been born if my first wife wouldnt have cheated on me. I truely believe everything happens for a reason. It will all work out for the better, in the mean time it is just gonna hurt. Good luck to you...

Answer 5

I think that everyone gets over something like this differently. You may get over it by talking to them about it, by doing something you love to do, a hobby or something, or by talking to your friends. Some people never get over these things, you've heard the phrase "forgive but never forget" That applies to these sort of situations. Also, it depends on the extent of the infidelity. Did they kiss another person, or were they romantically and emotionally involved with another person? Its hard to say, counseling could help if both of you are up for it. Other than that, just do what is in your heart.

Answer 6

People do make mistakes and forgiving them is an option on your part. Before you can forgive, you must ask yourself several questions. One is, [is he really sorry?] Two is [ do you think he will do it again?] Three is [How much do you love him?] Four is, [How much does he really love you?] Is your marriage worth saving? If so, it will take time to forgive him and maybe this will be a lesson to him that other women aren't worth loosing the treasure that he has at home. ( see my 360 blog) I didn't cheat on my wife but I neglected her and I hope for forgiveness from her.

Answer 7

You divorce/break up with his sorry pathetic @ss... NO EXCEPTIONS... Its dam near impossible to forgive someone for doing that to you... and ONCE he's done it, He will DO it again... DEFINITLY... So if you go back to him, realize that no matter what he says/ or does... sometime in the future, he will do this again and you'll be in the same position. My advice... LEAVE HIM asap! Move on and find someone who has NEVER EVER cheated on anyone. A persons past says alot about their future. Good Luck

Answer 8

Leave that relationship, it is not worthy, nobody has the right to hurt your feelings or be betrayed, look for better things, there are honest people in the world, it is impossible to love someone that cheated on you, if you feel that, go to the psychologist, you can feel bad or sad or disappointed, but stop loving that bad person.
If you stay in that relationship you have to low self steem

Answer 9

Drop them. It's a sad way to handle it but you will never be able to trust them again, even if you do they will see how easily you got over it and a more inclined to cheat again knowing you will forgive them.

Answer 10

You don't, you can forgive but you'll never forget... and thats the difficult part... anytime you have doubts, you'll remeber that one time...
You need to decide whats best for you and your family. I wish I could say just leave them, but i can't... sometimes its just better to try and let it go and hope that your decision to stay doesn't bite you in the a$$.
This has been my experience anyway...
Good Luck