I met my current boyfriend through a mutual friend. This mutual friend (let's call him Y) and I have been on and off friends for quite a while, our past is our past and I accept that, but it seems like he doesn't.
My boyfriend and I are really serious and we've talked about where we're going to spend the holidays--such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. His family officially invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. The location is actually at Y's mother's house, so Y will be there.
I'm wondering if I should try to patch things up with Y (again). As in, "I know we've had our disagreements, but I'm in this for good with OUR friend and I would like to be on good terms with you". Or should I just leave it as it is?
Also, should I mention to Y I'll be there for the Holidays, or should I not say anything and let him find out when he sits down at the table?
2006-10-09 03:38:52 · 17 answers · asked by Mrs. D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Y and my boyfriend are friends and they grew up together. My boyfriend knows what has happened with Y and supports me no matter what I do. So it's not a question of what my boyfriend thinks, it's what I should do to keep a sane house on Thanksgiving.
2006-10-09 03:40:08 · update #1
My question isn't WHEN Thanksgiving is!
I am in America and it's celebrated on the last Thursday of November.
Also--to try to clear things up (I know it's confusing)...
All I want to know is if I should try again to patch things up with this mutual friend (who is not speaking to me at the moment) and to tell him I will be at his house for Thanksgiving OR if I should just let him find out when he gets there or from his parents.
2006-10-09 03:44:43 · update #2
For Megan T:
Y and my boyfriend are not best friends, but close. And he already knows we thank him for getting us together. He knows we're in love and we thank him to no end.
But when he's immature about the whole situation and tries to lie to my boyfriend about things I've done, then I have no respect for that.
2006-10-09 03:53:51 · update #3
Ouch, tough situation. Honestly, I would try to patch things up with Y. Think about it; if your boyfriend backs you up, then what have you got to lose if Y refuses to be friends? And if at the end they still doesn`t want to be friends, just explain to them that you understand their disicion, but calmly ask Y to put it all behind them at Thanksgiving so it will make the day enjoyable for everyone. And definitely tell Y that you`ll be there. Unpleasant surprises are just that-unpleasant. Good luck! :]
2006-10-09 03:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by ×N!cky™ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think it will do any good to try and make up with your friend for the sake of the holidays then try. However you are an invited guest no matter what the relationship is like come Thanksgiving and you will be this persons parents house so they really have no say in who comes. If this was me I would try and make up and let your friend know that you will be there for thanksgiving, that way you have more then enough time should things get to bad that you don't want to go there for the holiday you can get out of it, and not hurt anyones feelings.
2006-10-09 03:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by kna0831 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like "Y" needs a cup of "Get over it"..
I wouldn't do anything to patch things up with "Y"... that's just going to send mixed signals and it's going to make the situation uncomfortable for everyone. Be serious with your boyfriend, demonstrate your maturity, and "Y" will get the point.
If he's remotely mature, then he'll accept it. Have a great Thanksgiving and don't let "Y" ruin it for you. Trust me, there is always a person like that at every Thanksgiving Dinner...
Best thing to do is to do your own thing and not worry about "Y".
2006-10-09 03:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by RUNINTLKT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just ask him if it would be a problem for him if you attended the dinner and take it from there. You haven't stated what kind of disagreements you have had or why you think that he's not past it, which might help answer the question a little better, but from what you did say it sounds like you might be looking to deeply into it, unless "Y" is causing problems between you and your boyfriend....I would just leave it be, you don't want to stir the pot unessecarily.
2006-10-09 03:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by MiZmeL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this for countless years using fact my mothers and fathers not traveled and my mom could not cope with education of a huge dinner. I made cranberry sauce & roasted the chook the day formerly, finished with stuffing and gravy. I bumped off the stuffing from the hollow area and made gravy only as i might if we've been going to eat it on the instant. I bumped off the finished turkey breasts, legs and thighs from the carcass and placed them in a deep baking pan or roaster with some broth. I chilled each and every thing and all of it travels properly in an ice chest or if it is chilly the place you reside and you at the instant are not likely very a strategies, it's going to do large in the trunk of the vehicle. I took the potatoes, yams, vegetables and different nutrition uncooked and arranged it at my trip spot. The gravy would be definitely reheated on suitable of the range in a saucepan. The stuffing and turkey would be reheated in the oven - use a sluggish oven (325) and shop the turkey meat coated with foil, bright side in. be careful to not overheat the stuffing because it could dry out too lots. If uncertain, upload some Tbsps of broth to the stuffing formerly putting in the oven.
2016-10-19 02:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of Thanksgiving I would try and pathc things up. Don't mention the holidays just pathc things up. However, your boyfriend kind of has blinders on and he is missing the point that Y is not a good person and not a good friend. It can be tough but I think he needs to totally get rid of Y as a friend.
2006-10-09 03:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, sound like you and Y hooked up at one point? I say don't tell Y. Go, be polite and have fun and if Y makes it uncomfortable the fault will be with him. You are in a new relationship and have relationships to form with your new guy's family and friends. The past is the past and if Y is too immature to realize that than you just need to be the better person.
Besides, Y probably knows you'll be there if you and your new guy are as serious as it sounds.
2006-10-09 03:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to patch things up with him just keep it civil during the holidays. There's nothing worst than a family feud during the holidays....it's makes the relatives you don't see often uncomfortable and it makes there guests ie bf/gf even more uncomfortable.
2006-10-09 03:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to tell Y that you'll be at his home for Thanksgiving. If you don't he'll probably take it as being mean, which during this occasion, would that be the best way to go?
2006-10-09 03:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should mention Y should be there and yes, I do believe in patching things up wth friends----FRIENDS, especially good ones, are hard to come by these days.
2006-10-09 03:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by bradnmich2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋