What can I do. I live with my fiance and sometimes he treats me like his flat mate. I have repeatedly tried talking to him as I feel he takes me for granted. He doesn't really understand why I feel this way. I am getting to the stage now that I have had it! Sex is only when HE wants it and I don't really feel appreciated. Do you think it is me? What can I do!???
2006-10-09 03:07:35 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am female!! My fiance and I share this - that is why the pic is of a man!
2006-10-09 03:39:11 · update #1
Take this with a pinch of salt and make up your own mind but ... if you've tried talking to him repeatedly and had no joy, you should learn that this is now a strategy with this particular man that doesn't work, so I would give up on that. You say you feel he is taking you for granted ... but I wonder if you are taking you for granted ... by this I mean, how much do you do in your life that is just for you and not taking other people into consideration? Particularly, how much do you do that is just for you without considering your man? If the answer is 'not much', then this would indicate that it is you that is taking you for granted and your man is just copying!! I would recommend you start being more selfish and less considerate of others, even if you fear they might not 'like' you as a result, start being more confident in who you are ... there's nothing more attractive to a man than a confident woman ... find yourself and your confidence and you'll have him eating out of your hand in no time!!!
2006-10-09 03:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Lulu H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, maybe you are going through the 7 year itch type of thing?
You have lost the romance haven't you - it is at the crucial stage where a relationship gets to after the honeymoon period - when you get to be friends - and lose the buzz...
Is there something you used to do to get him all hot and bothered? You know dress nice - music, nice dinner - you have to go back to basics and do it at the right time - on an evening when you know nothing else is planned.. so there is no excuse but to indulge on some romancing?
If the reaction doesn't go the right way then I am afraid the next thing you say to him has to be "We better talk - things don't seem right between us..."
Hopefully if you are both mature enough you will talk and sort it out - mind you last time I said that to a boyfriend he replied "mmm - you are right - I suppose it is over!" I then found out he had been seeing someone elase but was such a coward he couldn't even broach the subject so acted like a pig until I said something!
Anyway - best thing that happened to me - living with this lovely man now! With 2 dogs and a part time son... So no matter what happens between you two there is a future for you out there! Ok!
2006-10-09 03:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he always been like this, or is it recent? If it has been always then you have to accept he is not the romantic type. If it is recent then I think I would be a bit worried, especially as you have tried talking to him. He sounds very selfish if he refuses to listen and act on what you are telling him and also a bit of a chauvenist pig. You can't change him I'm afraid, but if he fails to be considerate then I think you have no alternative but to either give him an ultimatum (extreme I know) or decide if this is really the relationship you want for the rest of your life, particularly as you are planning to get married. This is your only option if you really can't tolerate the way things are now. Good luck, I hope things work out for the better for you.
2006-10-09 03:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its good that he's actually starting to act up now. imagine if u had already tied the knot and he started with this bullsh*t. my best advice to u wud be get out cos a leopard neva changes its spots. this behaviour mite escallate and u dont wana end up seeing him on Cheaters with another ho.
and neva mind the answer from the first guy, he's just a hater. i hate people who put others down because of their s*xuality.
but none less stay strong and im sure u'll soon find some one who will love u the way u supposed to be loved.
2006-10-09 03:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by memyselfandi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight out that your purpose in life is not to be a doormat for him and either he cops the hell on or you're leaving to find yourself someone better.
Talking only does so much - the very serious threat of leaving does so much more - if he doesnt change be strong and walk out on him. Good luck hun xx
And dont take any notice of voltar - you're twice the man he is.
2006-10-09 03:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Separate yourself from him, clean only your dishes make food only for you etc if he asks what’s going on tell him that seems as though he treats you like a flat mate your going to start acting like one, when he wants to be your boyfriend again you can do the things together again but tell him your not a bloody doormat and wont be treated like one either.
2006-10-09 03:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by Ian S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think u got to sit down and talk about this, perhaps with a nice glass of something after a good meal. It may be abstenance is required to get to know each other. Are you really suited or is it just a sexual attraction? We tend to rush relationships before considering all aspects.
2006-10-09 03:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by magsiepie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try playing him at his own game without looking childish as he is behaving... do you own thing and find other things to occupy you! he'll soon get fed up.. or maybe have a chat over a nice meal or try doing things together other than sex ie play a game, try a new hobby which will bring out each others competitiveness. if all fails and it stays the same, you deserve to be treated better, don't blame yourself, stay strong good luck!
2006-10-09 03:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with him and tell him clearly. Or maybe start making some demands of your own. Get him to do some running around after you?
(Could also be a sign of what married life will be like!)
Just read your additional info that you are female!! If you have used your shared yahoo account to put this question out there, he will be able to read for himself that you are sick of being a doormat! Is YA a different way of bringing it to his attention??!!
2006-10-09 03:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by Smiler 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
By the sounds of things your relationship has gone stale. You need to spice things up a bit - try different things together like weekends away. If that doesnt work then return the favour and you only give him sex when you want it - see how he likes it.
2006-10-09 03:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋