I have a wonderful loving boyfriend. He is supportive, kind, the type who watches me sleep and strokes my face - you know the kind. But on my birthday the other night he got unbelievably drunk and not only felt up my friend but told one that he wished I was as sexy as her. He also told the other one that if he wasn't with me that wow she is gorgeous. The problem is I already feel less attractive than them and feel shy about myself and this has completely knocked my self esteem. I have tried to work though this with him as he is devestated and can't remember but I can't bear him to touch me as I now feel completely unnactractive to him....... I do love him but how can I ever trust him again. Help someone........ serious replies only. Thanks you guys xxxxx
2006-10-09 03:05:08 · 33 answers · asked by bubble 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He clearly means a lot to you. Think you need to seriously sit down and have a chat about whats happened, and you need to tell him how your feeling. Maybe u can work this out together. Tell him what u need and want from him, and he should, if he loves you want to help and respond to your needs, afterall he placed you in this horrid place. You need to give eachother time. But on the other hand, as much as this has hurt you, and is wrong. A part of you has to accept he did something wrong, and leave the past in the past and try to move away from it, together.
2006-10-09 03:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by kel_mccoy_uk555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time the truth comes out when you are drunk. Mostly because the lack of concern for others and then the alcoholic affect of not being aware. So if he said it, more than likely, he meant it. The question is, can you live with him knowing what you know now? If the answer is yes, then you have no problem. You just have to find the confidence within to go on. If you don't mind, then it doesn't matter. However if your answer is know. Then you need to find a way to say goodbye. If you let him go and he comes back then what he said while under the influence becomes irrelevant.
2006-10-09 03:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by T W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After all they say the truth comes out in drink, would he do this again or even worse next time he has a skinfull?
Make him no that your very hurt and seriously upset by his actions and what he said, n if your relationship is to go any further he must be honest n open what he really feels for you, he needs to make u feel so special and that your the only woman on earth that could ever satisfy him and make u feel that u can trust and love him the same way as before if not better.
He needs to know his limits wen he drinks.
2006-10-09 03:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say dump him but, if you love someone it's not that easy. What he did was terrible. Talk to him. Put it int prospective for him. Make him feel how you felt and still feel. cut into him with your words and emotions. I know how bad it is to know that there was another girl, even under those circumstances, even for a short period of time. Nothing excuses what he did or said. Tell him that it made you feel horrible about yourself. But let him know, you're something to be missed. Whether you believe it or not, let him know that you're sexy, fun, sweet, and you can get someone else in a heartbeat. Let him know if he wants a tramp to go for it. Let him know you love him and how much. But tell him that if he wants to be single so bad and find a girl "sexier than you" you can arrange that. i really hope all works out well with you.. whether you choose to stay with him or not. jst remember as hurt and hopeless you may feel, there is always someone else. Just keep your head high. Be more confident, people are so attracted to that, When you radiate confidence liek sunshine people wanna catch a ray of it=] Trust me. Confidence makes a huge difference. no one can love you until you learn to love yourself. good luck sweetie.
2006-10-09 03:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by KS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was drunk....
He was stupid - but he is devastated - he feels guilty - he loves you. People say such stupid things that are totally out of context when they are that drunk. I suppose he went home with you that night? I hope you made him feel rotten in the morning... laugh it off.
All I would do though is sit and have a serious chat - tell him how hurt you are - tell him you feel unattractive and need his reassurance that you are the most beautiful person in his life. And ask him not to get that drunk again!
Have you ever got so drunk you act out of character... ie cried when you are generally happy... got paranoid and wanted to fight someone you don't know and are normally peaceful person... have you?
Come on... it is alright... My fella always asks me to marry him when he is drunk! Ha ha ha ha! He doesn't get an answer until he asks me sober! Which will be never I reckon ha ha ha!
2006-10-09 03:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that when someone is drunk they say and do things which are in their minds but daren't do when they are sober. I would be very wary if I were in your position because it is obviously how he feels but doesn't have the guts to voice it when sober. I, personally, would never trust him again and, like you, my self esteem would plummet to zero if I thought he felt like that. Sometimes loving someone is not enough. Any relationship has to have trust. You have to ask yourself if you can carry on trusting him, if not, then there is not much point carrying on with the relationship. Again, personally, if any man made me lose my self esteem like that then I would dump him big time and find someone who would love and respect me for who I am rather than what they would like me to be. (I have, actually - my hubby!). Only you can make the decision whether to carry on with the relationship or not, but I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide. x
2006-10-10 05:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes you feel this unattractive then he certainly isn't the one for you!! No woman deseves to be made to feel like you do.
The whole "I Can't Remember " is total rubbish, harsh as it may sound, but my advice would be too move on. If he was so wonderful and loving and perfect he wouldn't have said any of those things in the first place.
Be brave and don't let him knock your self esteem anymore than he already has.
Take care
Em
xx
2006-10-09 03:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is such a shame... alcohol is a crazy substance and makes us either act out of character or brings out our true personalities only very OTT! it doesn't sound like he knows what he wants as he didn't just pursue a girl... i can't tell you what to do but don't ever let any man put you down, he's the one at fault!! find out what he truly wants, stay strong and don't put all your eggs in one basket. he may be caring, loving etc but obviously needs to cut back on alcohol intake and show you some respect. totally feel for you hun, been there and it's not nice to be with someone you can't trust (espeicially trying it on with your friends!!) you need to pick yourself up and then you will know what you truly want. good luck x
2006-10-09 03:18:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things are unforgivable but only you can decide if you trust this man enough to deal with what has happened. Some people use excessive drinking to justify what they have done. He hasn't knocked your self esteem you have allowed what he said to knock it down and only you can bring it back again. We all make mistakes some are just bigger mistakes than others.
2006-10-09 03:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart, the first sentence totally contradicts the rest of your story. HE IS NOT WONDERFUL! The truth hurts, but he's a jerk.. much worse than that actually.... When people are drunk, they still know what they are doing, and know right and wrong... they also tell the acsolute truth of what they think.... You deserve more than him... this will never go away, you will never trust him the same.
2006-10-09 03:11:15 · answer #10 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋