We have been married for almost 3 years. He has always had a problem with porn. I thought things were different when we first got married then I found out that he has been checking out porn and chatting with women. He wants to hook up with some of these women for drinks...with a chance of other fun. He tries to keep this a secret but I know a lot of what he does. Because of this...the spark is no longer there. If we kiss...I feel nothing except wet lips. What should I do?
2006-10-09 02:19:40 · 13 answers · asked by Jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you should leave him if he wont go to counseling and you try everything you can then go.He will or has cheated on you
2006-10-09 02:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to cut off all contact with ANY other women. Chance are, he already has been with many other women. He is living in a fantasy world.
If he does, tell him he must go with you to marriage counseling. Tell him "we need to work on our marriage, we need to learn how to communicate and love each other." Ask him how he would feel if you had an affair or tried to hook up for casual sex. Install a keylogger software on your puter to track his online activity. It runs in stealth so he will never suspect the installation.
He is treating you like a possession. Once he acquired you, he has put you on a shelf. You are tired of collecting dust. Because of his desire for other women, the spark will take a long time to reignite.
If he doesn't change, stay living together until you see a private investigator and an attorney. Copy all bank statements and financial info just in case you will need it later. Start documenting a log all the "things" he is doing.
2006-10-09 02:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change is a struggle and it doesn't happen over night. If and only if it's truly desired will it be achieved.
If he did this before you were married and you accepted it at that time. You allowed him to keep this going. No telling what things went on when you were not married.
There are too many disease and life is way too short to be playing games.
Be true to yourself and cherish each day you deserve to be loved unconditionally and truly.
Let him know what you know. This is your life that he is playing with.
2006-10-09 02:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a serious addiction, you need to really think about things. If you can't compete with the gals online maybe it's time to walk away. You should never have married him unless or until he took care of this addiction. Now do what is best for you. Good luck....
2006-10-09 02:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get it back girl or your gonna loose him. Start doing the things that you did when you first fell in love. Don't NAG men hate NAGGING. Just talk. Set something special up once a week for you 2.
2006-10-09 03:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by blonndilox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The warning bells should be going off in your head. Unless he can get some help, there will be no hope for your marriage.
2006-10-09 02:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Clay O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you have already lost whatever love you had for him. sad to say, but its time to move on. hopefully, you have no children to worry about. you went into the marriage with your eyes open, but you assumed he would change as most spouses assume. people dont change unless they want to change, he likes himsef the way he is.
2006-10-09 02:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This loser is already looking to replace you, in front of your very eyes.
Leave now and get the Divorce papers ready.
2006-10-09 02:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He ain't worth ur time girl. There r plenty of great man out there waiting for u :)
2006-10-09 02:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by AppleSoda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two choices....counseling or divorce. he needs help, and if he wont get it you need to get away from him. there are too many diseases around to take ANY chance with infedelity, not to mention the hurt he is putting you through.
get out, or get help
2006-10-09 02:23:41 · answer #10 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋