thats not all...im scared that it will end up by having sex with them....i now have to go on dates with them...he enjoys watching and listning to those events.....
need ideas abt this issue............
2006-10-09 02:17:17 · 24 answers · asked by Lita fedrick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your husband told you to jump off a cliff would you do, wise up get real and dump him, he is playing and using you for his pleasure.
2006-10-09 02:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok this can back fire, the first thing you should do is figure out if you are ok with this. If you are oh well go for it, but think about the ramifications this can have for your relationship is hard enouth with two people now add another factor there and you have a recipy for disaster. there are many things you can do to keep the relationship new but a sex book try all the position in there get the kamasutra once you mater the basic move on to the advance positions buy some toys, just don't think bringing another male in the relationship is going to be good for your marriged beacuse males can be very territorial at times is just the nature of the beast but take it for what is worh is your decision your are the one that's going to have to live with it.
2006-10-09 09:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by chemdog23_2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be about three different possibilities at play here.
First, your husband may find part of what makes you desireable is a dash of jealousy in the stew that he calls a marriage. If other guys find you desirable, that validates his value. Meanwhile, if you could go after other guys, but stay with him, that too validates value.
Second, he could be trying to get rid of you. Pushing you to do things you can't or won't then making life difficult because you 'failed him', all hoping that you go find a lawyer and leave.
Third, there is a voyeuristic element of this. Akin to fetishes, he likes to watch. You are sort of like the pornography that he probably enjoys, but real time. By the way, there are some sites out there where guys give their wives away for some other guy to have sex with for a porn film, while he sits there and watches. If your husband is into that kind of thing, well, you might be shopping for a divorce lawyer because with what he's going to want you to do, you may not want to go there.
On the other side, if it is just the voyeurism, you can take care of that at home and count yourself lucky that he doesn't get off by licking your shoes or sniffing your used underwear. If he just wants to watch, then you can arrange some masturbation moment where you stimulate yourself as you wish and he plays the peeping tom thing through a door not fully closed or standing outside in the rain watching through the window (just don't pull the shades down completely unless it draws a crowd). I recall a time with my first wife when we were going to do it on the living room floor. We had the lights out but it was too dark, I couldn't see, and I liked to see. We had a street light by the corner of our lot, so I pulled the curtains open just a bit to get some light in. She was on top and became conscious of the light shining on her, wow, it really lit her fire. The next time we did it there at that time of night, I went to open the curtain but she said she would do it, it got left quite a bit wider open than I would have done. Talk to him, maybe he has a hint of some fantasy that pushes the envelope a little and gets him going while also dovetails with something that gets you going. It could be a simple thing to flirt with some stranger, then turn to your husband like you are discovering that he is better than the stranger and saying so. But it could be that you need to see a counselor because it may grow and go places you won't or can't go. Ask him about the porn he watches, it may be giving him unrealistic ideas. But it may give you an idea that can steer him to something more liveable to you. That's a problem with porn.
2006-10-09 10:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a controling pervert. What are you to him? His wife? Or his whore? I really can't imagine how that can be resolved. I mean you can try telling him that this is not what you want and that you feel disrespected. He will probably have some stupid excuse for this though about how much he loves you..blah blah blah. I think you need to pack up and leave. I doubt this is what you want out of a marraige. How much can he love you and respect you if he asked you to do that. But you have got to get a backbone and tell him NO or just leave and go to a friends or relatives. Besides, he may want you to do this now but after a while he is going to look at you differently. He will resent you for being with other men even if he asked for it. Guys don't want the mother of their children to be a "whore" in their eyes. Even if they made you one.
Oh if my husband even suggested something like that I at the very lest wouldn't speak to him for a week and he would sleep on the couch until he apolised and agreed to see a counciler for his perversion.
Oh I am so mad I wish I could have a little talk with him myself.
2006-10-09 09:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by Constant_Traveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have received all sorts of answers to your question, some may be right, but let me add something. I am a voyeur and my wife an exhibitionist. I love to watch her flirt with others, it such a turn on. We go to strip clubs and she has fun flashing the men and having lap dances from the strippers, this makes me so turned on, it is very hard to control myself. Maybe your husband is just using you to fulfill his desire. If you have no interest in any of this then tell him. If you get a thrill or enjoy the benefits after the event with your husband then continue. It's all fun if you both have the same wants and needs. I guess what I'm saying is, just talk to him and see where he is wanting this to go, you have to be honest also and tell him what your wanting. Good luck to you both and have fun.
2006-10-09 09:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell him you will do this only if he lets the other man take him to make a 3-some. Just kidding!!! (but kind of wondering if this is a fantasy of his)
Tell your hubby you want marriage counseling now.
He has been watching toooooo many porn movies!!!
The porn women do not feel guilt or shame when they are having sex with someone else than their husband. He is wanting you to live out his kinky dreams. It sounds like he has a sexual addiction. I'm betting he has already been with another woman since he is asking this of you.
Ask him kindly to go to counseling with you. One should never ask the spouse to do something sexually if it makes one uncomfortable or guilty feeling.
2006-10-09 09:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How low is your self esteem? Your doing these things and NOT comfortable with them? Then why are you doing them? Is hubby your god???? Think NOT....If your'e not OK with it then tell him to %$#@ off..... he obviously isnt excited by your marriage anymore..time to get some councelling and probably move on....he sounds like he needs some more stimulation....how about you? If in agreement you could always try a swinging lifestyle? That's certainly NOT for everybody though.. Good luck with whatever you decide...
2006-10-09 09:55:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sick *** father tried that exact same disrespectful thing when I was about 12. They had been married for 12 years. My mom was a housewife with me and my sister, They got divorced but my mom later told me at the time she felt almost like she was supposed to do it. The anything to keep my husband happy crap. She talked to someone and got woke up. If thats what your into thats all good,but my dad went from us to a fat *** next wife, who liked the swinging thing so much I read about her in the paper getting caught in a escort service, prostitution bust. My dad was no bum, he owned his own cabinet business and was well off. My sister and I no longer went over to their house every other weekend after long because they got my 7 year old sister g-string pantys for Christmas and wanted her to model them for Santa that morning. That and the no swimsuit in the pool rule. Even my step mom. So if you aint twisted don't let him twist you,cause my mom went thru some emotional, and some self esteem bad times after that.
2006-10-09 09:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by CHAMAULI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is unhealthy. I am guessing that something traumatizing lead to this. Was he ever sexually molested as a child. You need to get down to the root of the problem and find out why? Why does he do this? Why does he feel this way, and get him some help.
2006-10-09 10:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by blonndilox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a pervert that has watched too many porno movies- wacko!! No telling what he has done behind your back 0r face for that matter= sounds like a mess- you go on dates?? does your husband go too- did he hore these guys or what-? sounds like he wants his perverted fantasies to come true and you are in it - I would run and not return- esp w all the sex. diseases out there- D
2006-10-09 09:24:11 · answer #10 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do those things you are as bad as he is,no respect for each other,you should have told him to go to h*** and to start packing cause there is no love left here.
2006-10-09 09:21:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋