I have an 11 weeks old son who's father does not want him. ( The father was originally very happy about baby but he "changed his mind" when I was about 6 months pregnant. He has never seen him, acknowledged him or heard him gurgle) What makes a man come to this kind of choice? And before I am told "it must be me", HE made the choice I did everything I could to try and involve him. I am just trying to undrstand what makes a man behave this way.
2006-10-09 01:34:27 · 28 answers · asked by Marlene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm a man who can not father children it makes me sick to hear story's like that! in my opinion it takes someone of low self esteem and no morale virtue and no heart. in short he ain't a REAL MAN!!!
2006-10-09 01:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by scottb62821 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that this is probably not what you want to hear, but you are probably better of finding out what your son’s father is like now. I have a 14 year old daughter, and when my period was late her father vanished. I was very young myself and at the time I thought it was the worst thing possible, but looking back on it now I would prefer that he walked away before she got to know him, because any man that could do that wouldn’t exactly be very reliable, and it is better for the child to have a constant rather than spending his/her life being let down.
2006-10-09 09:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by ********** 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one really now what goes on in the mind of men, but we can assume that it could be friends influence, family or he might of had a reality check and just come to grip that he is not ready to be a father. At the end of it all do whats best for you and your baby. Do not waste time in trying to get him involved if he does not want to because then you might miss out on something special for you and your baby, he has to grow up one day and then it might be too late.
2006-10-09 08:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Island gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, this same thing happened to me. i already had 2 sons by my then partner and discovered i was expecting baby number 3, he was really happy to start with and even excited that "this one could be a daughter".
However he started an affair and eventually left us when i was 4 months gone, then he denied baby was even his, i gave birth alone to "his daughter" the little girl he wanted, he saw her once when she was 3 weeks old and said she cant be mine as she has different coloured hair to the boys!!!!
to top it off she is now nearly 4 and has never known her real daddy (has a fab step-dad)
My only conclusion is that they feel really guilty at leaving their babys and the best way they deal with it is easier if they have nothing to do with them, but i also believe that it eats away at them, dont worry about it, its his loss just think of all the things he will miss but you will enjoy, men are strange.
2006-10-09 09:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by mereidmell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I can answer this question. I respect you that you are still living with this man who oes not even bother about his own son. There are these many reasons why is he behaving like this:
_ He has a doubt that he is not his own child.
_ He does not love you anymore and attracted to someone else
_ He is taking druggs
_ He has a workload and he is not able to carry it own his shoulders
_ He had a lot of dreams with you and your child but he could not fulfill them and now he is feeling guilty.
I suggest you to please talk to him, if you can otherwise consult a councellor. Dont reveal to him that you are going to visit a counsellor. I respect you very much and I know that you can solve this easily.
2006-10-09 08:43:49 · answer #5 · answered by manu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is unforgivable for a man to do,but why he did it is another thing,he wanted freedom to have his fun so he had to give you up you because you were having a baby,so now the thing is make him support the baby even if he has to work two jobs to do so it is his responsibility to do so don't let him walk out on that part of the babies life too.
2006-10-09 08:45:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immaturity, pure and simple. He probably felt like the virile alpha male when he found out you were pregnant, but as soon as the reality hit home, he turned on his heel and ran like the child he is, unable to cope with being a grown-up.
First of all, get as much child support as you can out of him. Secondly, don't let this loser cast a shadow over either your life, or that of your son's. Your ex is the one missing out on getting to know the fantastic little boy you're more than capable of bringing up.
Just remember, it takes a male to create a baby, but it takes a man to stick around and raise one.
2006-10-09 08:42:35 · answer #7 · answered by sparkle_jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stupidity!!. Or rather some flaw in his character, I would not waste too much time on this, althought I myself have wasted time trying to figure out ways to get my son's father to be interested in his life. But in the end it was fruitless.
It's no fault of your sons or you. Move on your son will need you attention more that his idiotic father. He will be the one who loses out not you or your baby.
Try to take a little advice, it really isn't worth much energy to try to figure what his motives are.
2006-10-09 09:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say it but 90% of men will never have the bond with their child that a mother has....dont get me wrong i know there are plenty of men out there who do love & take care of their babies but it is so much easier for them to walk away coz they didnt carry them for 9months & feel the pain.......He just sounds like he is still very immature & not ready for kids anyway (he will be thinking about the both of u though im sure) so if u ask me u are better off on ur own hun x
2006-10-09 08:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by devine_gem22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely (in my opinion), his friends (which were clearly a bad choice to begin with) probally fed him some crap about how he would never have any time for himself or them anymore, and the fool believed them. I am a guy, I love kids, and I don't believe for a single minute that people would have so many kids if they weren't worth the sacrifice. Good luck to you, and God bless you.
2006-10-09 08:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Know it all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not you. Many men make this choice. The younger the "man" the more likely he is to make this choice. It's responsibility and commitment that makes them make this choice. Men by nature do not mature early in age. They are generally "late bloomers".
2006-10-09 08:38:50 · answer #11 · answered by hazydaise13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋