How can I stop my mother-in-law from treating her son (and me) like kids that can´t take care of themselves?

Answer 1

tell her in a non confrontational way....that you are the ONLY Mrs (fill in the blank) in your house and that you as well as your husband are adults and remind her that yes he is her son and he loves and respects her but YOU are his wife and you come first...if she dosent get it then remind her there are certain things you can give her son that she will never be able to.....make your position clear to her NOW or this will be a life long problem and may ruin your marriage!

Answer 2

Sit down and communicate with her, but don't cut her off from her grandchildren. Communication is so important, and I know that she is just doing this because she has not accepted the fact that he is not still her little boy, but please do not cut her off, just please sit down and discuss it with her. I have not seen my grandchildren in 4 yrs. over mis-communication, and although I have written letter of forgiveness and all sorts of things, she, the wife, ignores it. Extended families are so important to the children. The other grandparents do not live in this country, so they have no extended family. They live in another state now, but when I tried to see them, they were always busy. I never knew what was wrong. I finally brought it out in the open, and it went the wrong way. I think it is sort of a jealousy thing between wife and mother-in-law, but it is love from both of them, and believe me I tried very hard, but she was determined to not like me. This is my story, of course, but the children now that they are older are resenting her over it. It all comes back, and pay back is a b...h. My oldest son, has had three wives, and I have had good relationships with all of them. Not the first one, because it was not a good marriage, but the second wife and the third, is just great. The oldest son has 7 children and I was in all their lives, and they call all the time, and love us. We are going to be great grandparents soon. You just have to try and that is the best you can do. In your case, I am not sure if she is trying, or trying too hard, or just being nosy, but please just try to talk to her about it.

Answer 3

Take charge - take care of yourselves. Don't leave her any room to say a word. What I mean is... if your taking care of what needs to be taken care of, she won't have a leg to stand on. HOWEVER, I know that for some people, no matter what you do to "prove" yourself to them, it's their nature and they will always find something else. SO, my suggestion is when she says something that makes you feel like a kid, POLITELY say to her "I appreciate your concern mom, but we have everything under control." OR if she has a sense of humor, "Boy, I'm glad your so concerned because I might just forget to put my underwear on if you weren't here to remind me!" (But be sure to laugh if you use sarcasm, so you don't hurt her feelings). If all else fails, talk to your husband - it's his mom. Tell him he must talk to her about it - that she needs to let you two be adults. You shouldn't have to prove yourselves to her - but sometimes, that's what it takes. Good luck!

Answer 4

Take it with a grain of salt. She loves you and in her eyes, that is still her "child." Wait until you become a parent, you'll know what i mean. I'm 30, been on my own for 12 years and have kids of my own now and they still don't see me as an adult! I don't let it get to me anymore because I know they love me

Answer 5

She may just be acting out of love and concern, but even that can be frustrating. Show her that you two are responsible adults able to handle situations on your own. If you're always running to her for help. she may feel the need to "help"

Answer 6

All you have to say is "we are growing up now. i think we can handle our selves"