Divorce has shatterred me. My life seems to be standstill & her thoughts haunt me. How do I come out of it?

Question

Its almost 18 months and I like a fool still miss her and dwell in past

Answer 1

really only ppl that have experienced this form of grief can truly understand how you are feeling i expect you will get responses like time heals put it out of your mind, move on keep busy or even find a new love.
like i said it is a form of GRIEF, and therefore it does fade in time.
you will have memories of her and the good times may haunt you, after the initial heart wrenching has faded then you miss her then gradually your thoughts fade. YOU WILL GET OVER HER.

you will find your own individual way to recover, try different techniques, humour is a good one. try and be philosophical its just part of the turmoil of life you have the good times followed by the bad but then you have the good times again, have you found that about life? its true you know.

we are all different, try to analyse your problem in a more positive way, instead of thinking whats wrong with me why doesnt she love me iam a nice person i was good to her, tell yourself that this was a blessing and you will find your true love, soul mate whatever you call your ideal partner. things do happen for a reason, you just cant see it yet.

Answer 2

I've been in the same boat, and it's a rough ride. The first thing you should do is to seek professional help, whether it be a counselor or psychologist. When you go in, lay it all out on the table, because they can't help you if they don't have all the pieces to the puzzle. Lean on friends and family for support. And try to get out of the house a little more and live life. Go out and do the things you enjoy. Look, she was a very prominent figure in your life for a while, and you loved her dearly, so the divorce came as a hard shock to you. It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry. But you need to get some help in putting the past behind you. In time, you'll find that the pain lessens and life does indeed go on. When I got separated & divorced, it was the darkest time of my life. And the woman that I once loved became an object of hatred for doing what she had done (just up and leaving). But I got help, and realized that she owned those years that I was with her, and that I didn't really hate her after all. To this day, I love her and hope she is happy wherever she's at, but I'd never take her back. Each situation is different, but until you go talk to someone who is a trained professional and open up so they can help you, it's not going to get better. That being said, hang in there, be thankful for what you do have, and make an appointment to start getting this off your back so you can move on and get back to your old fun-loving self. You can do it, be strong. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok im coming of the top rope with this one, the first thing you have to do is turn to your suport group IE your friends they have to properly release you into the wild dude, you have been maried for so long that you probably forgot the rules of the game but it will come back to you becuase we are hunters that's just what we do, the best ting i can tell you is joint a gym lets analize the benefits from improving your physical and mental helth, you will live longer and happie life and since your going to get back in shape chances are that you will get more attention from the ladies, plus the sooner you start the sooner you can move on dude, one there is a are good opportunities to meet new people at the gym ussually the type that look really good if you know what i mean give it a try you have nothing to loose ;) crazy horse Xray over and out.

Answer 4

You will come through this divorce is like a grieving process. It is natural that you will miss your ex, you had a life together and at one point were in love. But you both made a decission to divorce and that has happened it will take a while to get yourself together. Forget for the moment of meeting someone else. You are not ready for that now anything you start with someone is rebound. Just take everyday as it comes soon you will have a good day and a bad day and before you know it you will have more good days. You will get through this I promise. Try not to look back to much that time your looking at has happened and gone your ex must move on and so should you. Be strong and if ever you need more support we are always here to help you through the dark times take care.

Answer 5

You need time and don't rush into another relationship. You can not forget a person that you have loved and think it will be easy. I suggest that when you have the opportunity, make a trip with a friend or alone to some new place or country.
However, accepting that this can be part of life will help you survive this sad moment.
I think that we all go through tough times and this will only make us stronger. Good Luck !!!!!!!!!
PS By the way don't hang out always with the same people. You need to make some changes.

Answer 6

Take your time, make sure you stay in contact with friends and family, it's good to spend time with people even if you may not be the most communicative of people - spend too much time thinking without some kind of outside reference and things will stop making sense. Go out, read a book sat in a coffee shop, go to art galleries, go and see some concerts, do what you can to be yourself and rediscover some of the things that make you you, possibly from before you where married. Things take time and the person who can help you through this the most is yourself.

Answer 7

It will take time and there is a grieving process= things will get better= been there- I thought I would die- getting busy helps and doing stuff you like-even if you don't feel like it--try not to dwell on it- it just makes your guts churn- not good for the body or the nerves- do some posive things-talk to your pastor or priest for some support- sorry for your loss- D

Answer 8

You must get out and try something new that involves team working with others so that you can meet and interact with new people. Fill your every free moment - this will lead to other introductions and eventually a whole new life.
Try never talking about her to anyone until you are well over it - she is the past, and it will not serve you to dwelll on it.
It does get easier with time, I promise you
Good luck x

Answer 9

I can't compare completely cos I havenever been married, but I have had breakups n stuff.
Thinks the best way to get over it, is to move onto something/one new, it may not sound like what you want to do at the mo if u just split, you need something to take your mind off it and to show you that even though you feel like you have lost alot, there are still good and happy things out there.

Answer 10

Get a hobby, go bowling or take dance lessons. Do things to take your mind off your ex. I have been divorced several times and it is never easy but with time you will get over the hurt and lonliness. No one is worth giving up your life for. There is so much life to be lived and enjoyed. You can bet your best outfit, she is not out there mooning over you so why waste your time mooning over her. Be thankful for the good times you shared but it is over and time for you to move on to better things. As Judge Judy says put a perion behind it and move on and good luck.