im in need of serious help.i started dating this guy in 1999 things wer ok but he seemed a bit imature but we managed2 sail thru a few yez 2gether we always argued a lot and he got in my nerves most times as he always too evrythign as a jok and never serious we wud break up n get bek together coz mostly he had a gud sense of humur and a lovley person but i seem to take advantage of that and just couldt respect him as his childishness always got in the way we finally brok up afta he lied 2 me about his personal life and it brok my heart afta i found out 2 and a half yez afta i started dating him and i lost my trust bt we continued as frenz i left the country bt kept in touch and 2 yez dwon the line i ment another lovely guy who was a flrit adict we had lots of arguements as he wanted 2 maintain an underground relationship bt it made me unstable i lost trust in him.but i love this guy i jus got to the point id had enuff of his hard2 understand bhaviour bt i cant let him go wat shud i do
2006-10-09 00:03:55 · 16 answers · asked by jollybear 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the problem we cant talk and solve anything without an argument and of late i have been dreaming of going back to my ex but i feel he isnt the person i want to be with i want this guy goin back to my x is for convinience not 4rm my heart and jus coz he is a nice person plus i cant stand long distance love .this guy im dating is a lovely person also just that i cant find a better way of sortuing this out with him without starting another fight.im torn apart and stuck recently i brok up with him and told him to look for another girl he refused i told him id found someone else meaning my ex butin my heart i dint mean it i jus wanted time to think bcoz i was refusing sex from him he took it that i was serious he got really hurt and went on to find a girl when he trold me i got jealous and told him i still loved him bt he wouldnt listen to me i love him but im in such a mess i dont know what to do about this he introduced me to his mum and we get along fine bt he hasnt told her we brok up
2006-10-09 00:04:40 · update #1
really dont know who to choose between them i know my boyfreind has got this girl to get to me but deep down i know he loves me. but at the same time im scared of getting back to the same routine of fighting all the time.its eating me up.we have been dating for almost 3 years and were planning on getting married.i love this guy to bits but what shud i do.he has suffered from depression before and some how is a been aggressive but not violent as such just that he gets so agitated and his short tempered.but we have soem right goo laughs and sex life is very excellent i cant complain about that we manage to talk but when we get to solving problems we just cant settle anything we out a good row
2006-10-09 00:05:27 · update #2
im 24 my ex is now 28 and my boyfreind is 30
2006-10-09 00:13:17 · update #3
Turn around and walk away
start over
2006-10-15 02:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with people of 'a certain age' who seem to think that 'life' and relationships is based on 'being able to have a right good laff 2gether,' simply being 'gr8 at shagging each other,' and either 'boozing' or 'controlling each other.'
Without a balance of all of these and an ability to be able to switch into the 'Adult' mode and to behave as reasonable and sensible human beings.......... then the rest is going to fall like a pack of cards.
Personally, I loath the expression of 'moving on' (it just chucked in as a 'mantra of wisdom' of the day), but, why does it have to be an 'ex.' Why return to the past and attempt to 'pick up on what failed before' - unless someone can really demonstrate there has been discovered the movement known as 'forward,' and has personally made a progression.
Apart from all of that, Why do i find it so hard and so TEDIOUS to try and read what a writer has spent time writing ...where it is dotted all about with > hard 2, gr8, yez, 2gether, thru
Maybe I'd take this more seriously if it were written by someone who demonstrates their Adultness. But i really don't have the compassion, energy or time.
Sorry.
Sash.
2006-10-16 10:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to get in touch with yourself. I think deep down you know what to do but you aren't trusting your feelings enough. Its like my friend told me once you got your finger in the fire and you won't move it. If you love some one and it just isn't working, Just because you love them doesn't mean you should hang on. I told another person on this site if a relationship is over, its over don't put yourself through the pain of going back and forth. If I was you I would ditch both these guys. They both sound like bad news.Try this, get a legal pad out and draw a line down the middle make a list on one side put down why you should stay with this guy and on the other side write down reasons why you shouldn't then see what list is longer, make a decision and stick to it. Don't be wishy washy. Think about what is right and good for you. Listen to you inner dialog. Most importantly remember always, Keep in touch with yourself.
2006-10-09 07:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by galichealer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't choose between either of them, neither of them sound very mature at all. For one thing if a guy loves you, truly loves you, he wouldn't get with another girl just to make you jealous. You need to move on and find someone who is not lacking in the maturity department.
2006-10-09 07:11:44 · answer #4 · answered by Val 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds more like you need to drop them both and take time out of relationships. You really don't have much of a choice. Just enjoy your single life and do things on your own that you might like to enjoy.
You really don't need any of the relationships that those two guys have to offer you. Just take a break. You should never settle for just either of those guys you mention. How would you choose? "The lesser of two evils?" No! There's more of a choice out there. Take your time.
2006-10-09 07:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing about either of these relationships sounds stable.are there no other men around ?you keep choosing the same person to love,making the same mistakes over a nd over.you must enjoy the drama or you'd convince yourself that both of these relationships are dysfunctional.you either want to be happy and you want to find someone who is able to communicate with you or you don't.the entire situation is yours for the choosing.I don't even see a choice for neither one is healthy and neither are you for keeping in the middle of so much confusion.YOU CAN BE HAPPY WHEN YOU MAKE CHOICES THAT SATISFY YOU .FREE WILL,it's here for us to use daily.
2006-10-09 08:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LET HIM GO! What you need to do is to focus on self. Make some goals and set aside some time to achieve them, give yourself a relationship break and do for yourself. You are flip flopping with the same type of men getting nowhere fast. Make time for you, your family and your friends.
2006-10-09 07:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at da moment i think dat da best ting 4 u to do is to call him up and meet him up n let him know evryting u've sed so far u've gt it bad for him n u realy wnt tings 2 go further dats da only way tings r goin to progress init?
2006-10-09 07:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, please listen to this. move away. give yourself time -real time to get over him. anyone causing you this much pain cannot be worth staying with - do you really want to nurture this relationship and stay with him until you are drawing your pension? Life is to short for all this stress.
2006-10-09 07:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go girl before you find your self with kids to worry about too, or before it kills you!
2006-10-09 07:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by Mosez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋