What can I do?

Question

The fact is I am really shy, so shy in fact that a few months ago I couldn't even talk on the phone. (Well now I can thank goodness.) But it is really ruining my life. It wasn't so bads since last year I had two friends at college but now they have gone I'm all alone and I have no one so i feel really lonely. But the worst thing is that I really really like this guy, and I did talk to him last year but now I'm scared he isn't the same person. Also I used to see him everyday because he was in two of my courses but now I will only see him on Wednesday and Friday which means I feel pushed to talk to him so I get scared clam up and do nothing. Plus this other guy had hijacked him as a friend so now I can't get near him. I don't know whether to just give up and forget him, but I can't stop thinking about him. I feel so lonely and confused I'm thinking of leaving this college and starting again somewhere else, but it would mean I'd have to settle somewhere else. Can anyone help with any of .

this, please no stupid answers. I'm really down and I keep crying and none of this stuff should bother me but it does. I feel so invisable and dead inside.

Answer 1

how old are you? i used to be painfully shy as a child and teenager, I'd never speak up in class, never talk on the phone, never talk to anyone I didnt know. It used to make me feel really down and isolated, so I know how you feel.

It gets better with age, it wasnt til I was in my 20s that I lost alot of my shyness, partly because I was working so I had no choice but to talk to people.

I would suggest you take small steps, try smiling at one or 2 people and if they smile back, just say hello and your name - most people will respond and be friendly.

If you can get a part time job it might help - I got alot of confidence from working in a pub - people have to talk to you and you have to talk to them.

I dont think you should move away, it wont change the person you are and you'll just feel miserable somewhere else. I know, because I tried moving twice and it didnt help - I was no more confident in a new place than I was anywhere else.

Try talking it through with a close friend or counsellor, it might be that you're lacking confidence and its coming out as shyness.

Another big mistake is to deliberately look aloof and uninterested, like you dont care if no one speaks to you, because other people interpret it as rudeness. Smile and look open and friendly, I'm sure people will approach you if you look friendly.

If you cant think of anything to say, ask questions about the person you're talking to, where are they from etc

Good luck, things will get better over time I promise.

Answer 2

I think you have to ask for help with something - perhaps a physical problem at home, or at least a slight obstacle you are facing, not the real one, something completely different that you feel able to talk about unemotionally without touching upon your feelings
That way you get to judge their openness and whether they are genuine or just superficially attractive
Most people are willing to help others and if they are not even able to talk about it let alone giving some real help they may not be worth a second thought themselves !!

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to build your self esteem somehow !

There are many books on this subject . I suggest going to the book store
and getting a couple . They helped me tremendously years ago !

Answer 4

Try and see a counselor and get some perspective.Life should start with you and your needs and perhaps you need someone (a professional) to show you that.

Answer 5

Just go up to the person and ask them all their gonna do is say yes or no.

Answer 6

Dunno...