how do I confront my professor?

Question

I realize this is my problem only because you can't change the way people are but i'm so reluctant to confront this professor 'cause everytime I'm about to do it, I fail. I have to confront her though, 'cause she's the only one who will take my thesis so I can graduate. I despise unprofessional behavior and deliberately mean & inconsiderate remarks and people like that make me sick. I was just about to go and ask her about my thesis but I couldn't enter her room. How do i deal with this problem of mine and put my emotions aside. I am always professional and never hurt anyoneone's feelings but I realize I also have to deal super professionally with the people who are exactly my opposite.
What do I say to myself so I am well prepared when the time comes...

Thanks.

ps) please stop asking me why i put my questions under the gay & lesbian section. i just seem to feel like they're one of the most sensitive & good people I know so I always ask for their opinion.

Peace.

Answer 1

I had a similar situation some time ago. I went up to her and said that I really needed to know her better in order to be less stress and perform better as i thought that [...] was inadequate. After a long conversation she denied, I promise that I think she just changed her my to be more approachable to me which good for both. Communication, communication, communication.
Think of your thesis and performance and take the rest with a pinch of salt!

Answer 2

Without the history its going to be difficult for people to answer, since I'm God however ....... you need to focus on you. What you are doing now is about your future and you should let no-one get in the way of that. So this is about you confronting your own fears more than anything else and that really is the way that you need to look at this. At the end of the day she is just another person, and you will have to deal with many people throughout your life. In other words don't think of this as a confrontation, think of this as a meeting that you need to accomplish. I'm sure no matter what the history the professor will be professional about this meeting since that is who they are. Don't be afraid because there really is nothing to be afraid off!

Answer 3

Well, I'm not gay, but I'll try to be sensitive and good.

You will have to deal with people like her from time to time throughout your entire personal and professional life. You won't change them. The fact that it hurts you shows a vulnerability that some people will sense and exploit.

Perhaps you could rehearse or role-play how you will handle you conversation with her. And explore every scenario, from trick questions to out-right rejection. Have a well rehearsed plan for every contingency you can think of. If you need this person at this point in your life, and she won't be reasonable, you don't have to let her make all the rules. Figure out how to "play" her. Stop expecting professionalism alone to work.

For all you know, this may be something she has learned to do for her students benefit. There are worse people than her out there in the real world, maybe she wants you to learn how to stand up to them.

Answer 4

you didn't say what the problem with the professor was, but a direct appraoch is best. state your problem/questions clearly and concisely. don't become emotional, if you feel unable to talk to this teacher alone ask a guidance counselor to go with you or meet with the dean. you're paying for an education, do not let fear keep you from reaping the full benefits of your hard work. unfortunately the meek get nowhere in the real world so you need to become more assertive or this problem may happen again with a boss or coworker. maybe you should take some assertiveness training, it'll help........good luck!!!

Answer 5

Depends. You might talk to an advisor or someone about it; if they've been very unprofessional, I'd talk to a department head. If they ARE the department head, go to the dean. If they're borderline or whatever, you might directly tell them what they did and why it was offensive to you. If you do confront this person, I'd be sure to have another professor go over your thesis: if they try any funny business you'll have someone else around who can vouch that it should be accepted etc.

Answer 6

Well, dear, it sounds like you feel like you are going into a confrontation. I can only help you with how you will conduct yourself, because, as you say, you can't control other people's behavior. You can, however, influence it.

When you speak to this person speak with respect. Respond to what they have to say. Not react. Respond. Take a deep breath, think of what you need to say, and say it calmly, respectfully. Do not allow a person to provoke you to reaction. Just response.

Personal convictions aside, you are going to have to deal with this person. Only view them as your professor. Any personal observations or convictions get left at the door. Only view her in her teaching capacity and respond to her from that level. Teacher/student.

Do rehearse what you are going to say with a friend, preferrably someone who has given a thesis to her already. Get some pointers. Rehearse in the mirror. Project professionalism. View your self as someone worthy of earning this grade. Develop impartiallity. It doesent matter who she is so long as she functions as teacher and you function as student while you are at university. You can do this. Go for it.

Answer 7

Theoretically, you sent him the e mail to thank him for making his classification relaxing to you. Why do you desire him to thank you for that--it is that slightly self serving? additionally evaluate that he would possibly not want something extra coming up, or a minimum of would possibly not want every person to start up imagining some thing extra is coming up between you 2. I even have relatives who're professors and that they tell of scholars who start up stalking them or start up imagining some thing extra is going on different than a only expert difficulty--and in the event that they replied to each pupil who compliments them they might purely be encouraging the pupil. A professor can lose his job over a instructor-pupil affair even being mentioned by making use of every person--and coaching jobs are confusing to return by making use of. only assume he gained it and appreciates the sentiment. If in some unspecified time sooner or later you definitely do run into one yet another, only smile and say hi. not something extra is critical. maximum human beings do not deliver out a thank you respond to a thank you. i think of you at the instant are not being honest with your self approximately what you had was hoping might ensue with this guy.

Answer 8

Having written a thesis, one presumes you have a brain. You need to rationalise your fear of this woman against your desire to succeed in life.

Easier said than done - but it is YOUR FUTURE you are potentially wasting. Keep that in mind when gearing yourself up to confront her. It also counts for good life experience - there are going to be several people in your life who you will find offensive and intractable - with who you will have to develop a (working) relationship...

Best Wishes

Answer 9

Go in and face her with a mini-tape recorder in your pocket. That way if she becomes rude and hostile you can take the tape to the Dean or other authorities.

Answer 10

Depends on what you need to discuss with her - you said a lot without stating your problem. Post another question that details your actual problem and you will get much better responses.