baby doesnt like me?

Question

hello i have a 2 day old son whom my wife PEDIATRICIAN and i named jordan blake i carry him properly,i wsash my face,hands and i take a bath before i see him the doctor said there is nothing wrong but the baby cries so much when i even touch him with my pinky,i dont have sharp nails and im not noisy it just cries so my wife takes the baby from me i am very sad about this tell me what to do the baby is screaming when i hold him

Answer 1

DO NOT GIVE UP! Show this message to your wife, please!

Dear Mrs. 4kidsdad: Your child and husband are at risk of serious alienation from each other, and it's up to YOU to make sure this doesn't happen. When I was an infant, my father and I failed to bond. Occasionally this happens with mothers, and the doctors pay all kinds of attention to it, but with fathers, it goes unattended. That is a big mistake. Your son NEEDS to connect with his father on a DEEP level, and that means he must develop some basic security with him. There is something called "detachment disorder" that occurs sometimes with children adopted from other countries. They cannot bond with their adoptive parents because they are too far into their development before they receive any kind of love or affection. I had a step-sister who had this problem. The proposed treatment was for the parents to embrace the child tightly despite her resistance, hold her through her temper tantrum, telling her how much they love her. It was said that she would resist, cry, and put up a huge fight, but eventually she would become exhausted and "give up." When she "gave up" and continued to get this same embrace and message of love, she would accept the bond. This was to be repeated until she stopped resisting. Now I only wish my father had done something like this with me when I was a baby boy. Instead, my mother reports that we had a mutual discomfort with each other from the beginning. One of my earliest memories of him is my mother telling me to give my daddy a kiss before he went to work. I felt afraid of him and didn't have to courage to approach him. He looked at me, seeing me cower, and turned and left in disgust. In my own way, I have been trying to "give daddy a kiss" for the rest of my life, and have struggled with homosexuality, complicated by mental illness. I'm not saying that homosexuality is caused by this scenario. There is great evidence for genetic predisposition. But even so, even if I were going to be a gay man anyhow, I deeply regret not having a good relationship with my father while I was growing up. Now we have become very close, but it is rather late. My dad is nearly 80 years old, and in the meantime, I am a middle-aged gay man, living alone with a cat. So this is what I suggest. Let your husband take your son away from you. Let your son cry and scream, even if it goes on for five hours. Five hours is a short time, when seen in the broad scope. Now a note for the dad again. 4kidsdad -- I hope your wife will let you try this, and I hope it works for you. Don't let your baby boy push you away NO MATTER WHAT. He is NOT rejecting you for ANY reason except FEAR and INSECURITY, and it is YOUR JOB as father, to overcome that fear like slaying a dragon. I am nearly crying as I write this. I just have one last thing to say... if it doesn't work, and your son shows signs of being a sissy, and you figure out early that he's probably going to grow up and be gay, please, love him anyhow. Like my dad did, eventually.

PS If you, Dad, don't care for the name Jordan Blake, change it --- consider Blake Jordan. I know it's unscientific, but there IS something to a name. My name was chosen by my mother, an alternate spelling of a traditional masculine name. I have often wondered if the name influenced the energy of my life, as many Asian cultures deeply believe. Mom - pediatrician - please don't pooh pooh your husband's concerns. You son's identity is at stake, and his father has a very important part of that to provide. Don't be a mom who makes her son into her little pet momma's boy. He will love you either way -- please give him a break.

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[update]
I have read other people's comments on here since I posted the message above. I guess you should only take my advice if it really rings true for you, because it's not really scientific.. it's more just something that I express from a particular point of view. I'm not an expert on child care. The fact that you care enough to come and solicit help, and you are working with your wife, who is a highly educated woman, and very knowledgeable about child care... Well, I'm sure you're going to be a great dad, whatever you do. Best wishes and blessings to you and your family. -Uncle

Answer 2

Awww hun....your baby cant "not like you" Your baby is still new and discovering his surroundings. Dont be so hard on yourself - give yourself and your son time to get to know eachother. babies cry hun, its not a gesture that is directed at you, dont take it personally. In the meantime, just help your wife wherever and whenever you can. Just being there for both of them is huge on its own. Youre going to be a great Dad! Just the fact that you are so concerned and already doing so much says alot about you.

Dont be sad, your baby will learn to love you hun and Im sure your wife can give you the same reassurance. Prayers and thoughts hun

Answer 3

It doesn't take much to make newborns cry. It could be a smell or something more subtle. Sometimes they just want their mama. But one thing is for sure, you better keep doing it. Don't just let your wife take the baby every time he cries. Let him cry for a little longer each time until he learns not to. And he will. Just be persistent. More than likely he'll grow out of it. I have a 7 month old and he is a little bundle of joy, but it was difficult at first. Hang in there, dedicated dad!!! Congratulations.

Answer 4

you truly desire to speak along with your pediatrician approximately this... he ought to be teething, or it ought to be some thing else thoroughly. i does no longer anticipate he "would not like it" proper off the bat, considering is amazingly unusual just to unlike "each little thing". The point 3 dinners have vienna sausage like issues and meals that they might carry and devour, so i do no longer comprehend why he does no longer be pleased with that if it truly is the feel. At 9 months, he's very on the brink of being waiting to deal with many meals, yet I nonetheless does no longer provide him the person meals you devour. in case you're conversing approximately rice, i'm hoping you recommend rice cereal for little ones. Rice is sticky and a small grain ought to get caught in his throat and be very complicated to dislodge. At 10 to 12 months, many pediatricians would advise "finger meals" yet those are meals that are great sufficient to hold yet mushy sufficient to be mashed by potential of their gums. My maximum suitable suggestion is to no longer take my suggestion or every person else's... pass see your pediatrician in this one. there are various meals little ones can not have because of the fact their gadget is plenty too gentle. Cows milk, Honey, Citrus, Eggs, Seafood.... all of those issues are truly undesirable for a baby's gadget and would reason *serious* long-term reactions.

Answer 5

Your babies only 2 days old give it time all babies cry doesn't mean it doesn't like you. he's come out of a safe enviroment into the big wide world. i think you need time with baby bathing him etc little interactions, talking softly singing little songs etc. as passing over to wife all the time won't help as will make you feel worse and diminish your ego.

Answer 6

Maybe you are washing too much? Your son might not like the smell of the soap you are using or the smell of the laundry detergent on your clothes. This might sound bizzare, but maybe you could try using something of your wife's so that you will smell a little like her. Maybe you could use her deodorant. Another suggestion is to try to interact with your son without holding him. Maybe when he is laying down, you could sit next to him and just talk to him or sing to him, or when your wife holds him try talking to him or singing.

Answer 7

My son did this for so long with his daddy too. His daddy works a different shift so he doesn't get to see him as much as I do so my son was very clingy to me more then him. However now my son is 4 months and he enjoys his time with daddy. Sometimes when his daddy is around he prefers him now. Unless its time to go to sleep then he always wants his mommy. Why? Because I'm the one who puts him to sleep every night.

Good luck. And just be patient.

Answer 8

I'm guessing that you are probably scared or nervous when you hold your baby and that the baby can probably sense that in you i would suggest trying to be more calm within yourself and just know that these things just take time!! Congratulations on the new addition to your little family!!!

Answer 9

Just be patient with baby, maybe ask your wife not to take him from you when he first starts crying. You try to soothe him. Remember he just came out his mother womb. He might be just a little picky baby, He doesn't know likes or dislike of a person yet. Give it time. Talk to him why your wife is holding him. You might have a strong cologne or a heavy voice, really it could be anything...............time.

Answer 10

It is not unusual for a baby to be very close with its mother. It's only his second day in the real world!

Congrats on the baby, I'm sure the baby will get used to you very soon.