anyone been to college / uni and NOT enjoyed the social side of it due to shyness / anxiety?

Answer 1

yes... had a lot of probs freshman year... took some meds but wasn't 100% helpful. the problem is that im just not really an extrovert, so id never really enjoy the whole keg party craziness that college is "supposed" to be. i graduated magna cvm laude and phi beta kappa (top 7% and with honors) - maybe due to the fact i never went out :) or, i was just focused on grades so i never went out...causal direction is unclear

oh AND i had braces & acne in college - cuz my skin was fine in high school and my parents wouldn't allow me to have braces so I had to turn 18 and pay for them myself... i was a true mess...

Answer 2

Yes, I did at the start. For the first couple of months I tended to shy away from people, mainly because I was quite a shy person myself, and I wasn't really into all of the drinking and irresponsibility, I THOUGHT British student life would involve. For a while, this attitude did limit my social life, but then I began to make changes.

After a while I began to realise that not everyone was a hardened drinker, or drug taker, or obnoxious nutcase. I realised that there CERTAINLY WERE like-minded people, more of my 'type' who I could mix with quite easily. I began to seek them out and was delighted to find that I could be quite at ease with them, and they also ACCEPTED ME FOR WHO I WAS. They respected the fact that I didn't want to drink 20 pints a night or do drugs or whatever, and there were more of these people around than I thought. It is probably the same in the circles you move in as well.

Ironically, once people accepted what I was like myself, I began to feel less 'threatened' by others. I started to develop a more broad-minded and easy-going attitude to what others were doing. I lived as I chose, and they lived as they chose. As long as they weren't harming me, then I didn't have a problem.

I was only feeling threatened by them because I wasn't used to them. This may be why you are feeling anxiety yourself. At University, you meet so many different personality types that you do adapt whether you know it or not. Adapting and accepting others as they are greatly enriches your life.

Another thing I realised was that not everyone is blessed with abundant confidence, and that everybody wants to be liked and indeed 'loved,' just like you. A lot of people are insecure, and worry whether people will like them, but they really don't have to live this way. (If I had a pound for every time a new student wonders whether people will like them, I would have enough money to pay off ALL student debts!)

One of the best things you can do is to start expecting positive responses from others. At times, I would be worried that if I went and started talking to people, they would laugh in my face or give me a very negative reaction.

However, when I did pluck up the courage to go and talk, I was really pleasantly surprised by the POSITIVE REACTIONS that I got. People were genuinely pleased that I had made the effort to speak to them, and responded to me in kind.

Even now that I have graduated, and am out in the 'real world' I find that most people in the world are genuinely friendly and good natured, and would rather be your friend than somebody you dislike. If you come across as friendly, interesting and interested in others, you will have friends, guaranteed.

Now, how do you work on your shyness and cultivate some self-confidence? Expecting a positive response is one of the best things you can do, and the more you do it, the more positive responses you will get. If you know you will have to go and speak to somebody, maybe you could work out what you are going to say beforehand. This definitely makes you feel confident.

If you are doing any public speaking (maybe you have a presentation to give in a seminar) then practice it before you give it. Go over it a few times, even if only speaking to yourself in the mirror, because you will then become familiar with your main points, and only include things you understand. KNOWING WHAT COMES NEXT is the secret to impressive public speaking.

If you doubt yourself, or doubt your personality or character, then that too is something you need to change. Make a list of your positive qualities, even if they only seem small. Aim for ten at the start and you will probably find you get many more. Repeat these often to yourself; these are your reminder that you are a quality person with great things to offer the world. Do this often enough (each day) and you will start to believe it too. That will help your confidence a great deal.

After a while, you will find that others will want to know YOU (not just the other way round) and will want YOUR COMPANY. Then the social side of student life will open up for you.

So think some good things and go for it. You have nothing to lose, and human nature is basically positive and loving.

Answer 3

I tried to...at first. But then I realized that I couldnt make the best of things. I knew that if I didnt get out there and meet new people that I would really regret i in the long run and I was right. I have met some really cool people in my college experience...hell, I would have lost all my friends if it werent for college! Just go out and give it a try...you never know who you will meet.

Answer 4

i have suffered clinical depression from a very young age. High school was so unbearable that i never wanted to go to college. 10 years later i did decide to go to college. even though i was a different person then and was taking anti depressants i still found it to be one of the worst experiences ever. but it was worth it because i now have qualifications, a great career and a better future.

Answer 5

I tried counseling for it but his approach didn't work on me I can't remember which one it was; it was the one where you change what you do without any regard to how you actually feel.

I thought I was shy, but now I think I just couldn't find anyone I had anything in common with; for example my interests which I hadnt discovered yet.

Answer 6

Yeah, I'm stuck here now...I don't like drinking or "socialising" and I don't even want the bloody degree...wish I wasn't here

Answer 7

no.
at first this might affect you if you really are shy, but give it time to settle in and become more comfortable with people and you''ll be fine.
enjoy!!!
x

Answer 8

Ive had no problem, even with my bad case of F**k...Tiretz...P**is