I’ve known my colleague at work for a few months and we talk about fashion, clothes and shops, etc. I have never discussed my private life with her, nor have I asked her anything about hers. Last week she said to me, “When are you going to have a baby? You know there’s nothing to be scared of?” This completely threw me. Yes, I’m 35 but I’ve never mentioned anything about myself with her before. She doesn't know my circumstances, unless she can read between the lines. Is she being rude and what should I say to her if she says something like that again? She doesn’t know me from Adam!
2006-10-08 22:14:51 · 15 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Standard question address to women!
Best to just brush it off with a casual remark like when I'm ready but don't get dragged into debate. You could say why to you ask? Don't allow yourself to get on the defensive.
Don't make it an issue that you are seen to have a weakness on or she might exploit it.
Good luck
2006-10-08 22:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Frank M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it's dificult to say, not knowing you or her, but my guess is she's just like that. There are a lot of people out there who are obsessed with the whole having children thing.
My wife and I have been together for over ten years and neither of us wants children. However, despite being in our thirties, we are still not considered old enough to know our own minds well enough as far as certain people are concerned. These people include those we have only just met as well as others we have known for some time. Despite all evidence to the contrary - apparantly we are both, at some non-specified point in the future, destined to undergo complete personalty reversal and crave more than anything esle in the world to join the ranks of the breeders.
Nobody suggests that we might, instead, become crack addicts, porn stars or Jehova's Witnesses, but are happy to make equally wild predictions about our likliness to spawn offspring.
This topic is something that is seen to be in the general public interest - as though everybody has a social duty to be involved in some sort of breeding programme. Consequently, those who appear to be swimming against the tide by not having produced offspring by the proper age (usually understood to be before mid thirties) is considered to be either some sort of deviant, or in need of a little help in working out how to do it properly.
I am now taking bets with people who declare that I will change my mind and have children. It will be a nice little nest egg for my retirement!
How you deal with your colleague really depends on how you want the rest of your relationship to go. You could tell her you're gay, or that you can't have children and burst into tears to make her feel guilty, or plain tell her to butt out if she wants to hang on to her teeth. The bottom line is that it's not her business and she has no right to try and make it so, despite popular belief.
2006-10-09 05:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by lickintonight 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suspect if you review other previous conversations she has been equally rude about other topics and you may not have been quite so alert to it.
You can wait until the topic comes up again and explain that you don't want to discuss that with her or you could find a time within another conversation and let her know that she made a comment the other day that bothered you and that for future reference you would appreciate no more questions about having kids.
2006-10-09 05:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by hvnmorefun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply state that your relationship is not that good yet to share this type of personal stuffs.
Maybe she sounded rude to you or maybe she was simply being over friendly and have placed herself in your best-mate's feet when not invited!
On the other hand, if she wants to be your friend and share more than the superficial things, is there any harm in that? Would you consider her as a friend even though she is a colleague?
2006-10-09 05:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she didn't mean it in a bad way as that's not really offencive what she said,is it ?? Are you scared? Maybe you feel that you should or would like to have a baby. Just because its a touchy subject for you, you mustn't be so touchy. You say she is your friend so just talk to her calmly to save any unnecessary hassle.
Good Luck !!
2006-10-09 05:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by IloveMarmite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know if she has any?
If she doesn't, then she's not exactly the most informed person to comment.
If she does, you can always say, "I'm sorry, but you're not my type to have a child with."
Maybe that'll shut her up.
She is being rude and it is none of her business.
2006-10-09 05:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by markspanishfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she is being rude. Next time don't say anything but take a dump in her desk drawer, that'll sort her out.
2006-10-09 05:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by sarcasticquotemarks 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flat out "I am sorry, but that is really not anything for you to concern yourself with"! And maybe telling her you only talk about those kinds of things with your friends!
2006-10-09 05:21:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably envied you or she wants to screw someone. it doesnt matter the why but what matters is how you react to it.
if at first you were shocked, i suggest to smile and say something like "what do you care? im happy where i am now."
anyway, dont be disturbed by things like that. they are just telling you they are insecure about themselves.
2006-10-09 05:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by J.C. Philippines 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her its ur life & kindly stay out of ur business,no infact say u will have a baby when she has surgery to fix her face.
2006-10-09 05:28:40 · answer #10 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋