My husband had total control of the household at the age of 12 because his father was a womaniser. When he was 22 he came to UK from Turkey and met me. I was 33 divorced with 2 kids. He told me he was 27. We had a daughter, now 16. My sons didn't get on with him and left home very young. I resented him for my boys leaving. Last year I discovered he was cheating, but he said him leaving would have nothing to do with other woman. She was an error of judgement. We needed time apart to re-start our relationship which had been bad. He also said I had baggage, that he needed freedom. He now lives on his own, but comes to the house every weekend, takes me out, treats me good, took me on holiday, makes plans for our future. But, I don't see my kids and our daughter wants him out. She says I shouldn't forgive him, or trust him. He says he hopes our separation is temporary, he just wants to get his head straight.He treats me as if we are dating. His mother says keep quiet.
2006-10-08 21:58:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many Issues you are dealing with. Lying about his age is neither here nor there, he probably wanted you to believe that by age, he was more responsible.
Resentment towards him regarding your boys is normal in this Issue, and apparently your boys picked up on the "Baggage" issue earlier on.
Forgiving him, and Trusting him is not a concern for your children, they are going to go off and lead a life of their own, and if you want to rekindle a relationship with this Man, this should be a decision between the both of you.
Maybe it was a s simple as him wanting his Freedom, considering he had many responsibilities at a young age, and now he realizes what growing up is, and he doesn't want to end up like his Dad.
Either way, you must decide if you are able to Trust him again, and willing to take him back. Good luck to you.
2006-10-08 22:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is wanting his cake and eat it to, as the saying goes. He is free to do what ever he wants and then he comes to you for sex and what ever. How do you know he isn't seeing someone else during the week? I think he is using you, and you need to kick his butt to the curb, and get on with your life. If you have a 16 year old daughter, then he is old enough to know responsibility. And he knew when he married you that you had baggage.
Please gain some respect for yourself as a women and a human being. Know your worth.
Get rid of him and his childish ways, and move on. Maybe you will be lucky and find someone to Love you for who you are. And maybe your sons will start coming back around.
Whatever you do I wish you luck. It sounds like you have been having a tough time.
God Bless
2006-10-08 22:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would run and never look back, this man has lied to you and is probably still lying to you now. Once a cheater always a cheater and there is no excuse for that bad relationship or not. He is guilty that is why he treating you so nice and mentioning baggage after he has walked out is not something you wait 16 years to do. He married you for better or worse, when he married you knowing you had kids, he accepted it. So basically i think he is lying to you and wants to have his cake and eat it too. listen to your children, and try to connect with them and stregthen your relationship with them.
2006-10-08 22:45:22 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all try to reconnect with your boys. They should have came first through all of this. You need to do that before anything. Next this a very complicated situation, the only thing I can say to do is go with your gut and your heart. What are they telling you? What do you want, start thinking about that instead of thinking "what is he thinking?" I would connect with your boys and deal with that and figure out if you can trust him and forgive him for what he did. He cheated on you, can that be forgiven? You need to be happy and have your children come first.
2006-10-08 22:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not take him back!!! What a loser he is. He comes around on weekends and takes you on holidays so he can get you in bed. You need to put your kids first. Not a man!!!!!!!
Get rid of the loser and move on. There are a lot of men out there that will treat a woman the way she deserves to be treated.
2006-10-09 00:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by nnett64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm the incorrect guy or female to respond to this (or probably the desirable character) provided that I had an extremely comparable worry that ended badly. It became in simple terms such as you describe. consistently stupid lies that have been possible unimportant. So tough to get overly mad or make lots of a deal out of by way of fact they have been for not something. and you probably did not say this, in spite of if form of hinted at it, that even while caught in a lie they could vehemently lie extra or deny the incontrovertible fact which you recognize. And so it went for me for 10 years. Then sometime the lies weren't small and insignificant anymore. She was cheating and living a double existence (in spite of if that became as quickly as denied in spite of the data status in front of me). i wish you do not end like me. in spite of if I do assume that have confidence is substantial to a reliable courting and you should describe that. And preserve to it. outstanding success!
2016-11-27 02:09:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is no easy answer.he lied about his age that doesn't matter.Your boys leaving home at 16 doesn't matter.if he told you he was unfaithfully that is ok for telling you .I wouldn't like to see your daughter leave home at 16.wanting to be by himself for a while men do that sometimes.I suggest just keep dating him but no sex and see how long he stays dating you he will only date you without sex if he wants you back if you can afford to pay for blood tests both get checked for sexually transmit ed diseases before you take him back permanent.explain that to your daughter .But as others will say in a man once a cheater always a cheater so take your time some men do make one mistake like that if temped by a very pretty woman do what i said and be very carefull.
2006-10-08 22:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is lying to you because he still loves you and respect you, now just give him a break, he thinks you are more important than that other woman, should forgive and support him, any way he still loves you is most important, he will be back soon, everything will be all right
2006-10-08 22:32:17 · answer #8 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wierd, I think he's lying. He's got someone else during the rest of the week. Listen to your kids!
2006-10-08 22:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, i dont have much experience with that kind of thing, but it hink he is playing with your feelings, and i think you deserve much more then that.
If i was you, id do what i thought was right for myself, sounds selfish but its abotu time.
2006-10-08 22:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋