boring husband or passionate bf?

Question

am married with 2 beautiful kids but that's it. If it wasn't for them, i would have left. Even though hubby does not flirt, drink or smoke. He has a bad temper, too strict, egoistic, chauvinistic and very old fashion but claims he luv me . Now, I have a boyfriend, who happens to be married also. We both got together a year ago. Sparks ignited the first time we met and he hid his feeling from me for months. We were attracted to each other at first sight. Only problem is, we are not able to meet each other like all illicit couples do. We seldom call each other for being afraid of being found out and we have tried to end it 3 times but always got back together because we cannot bear to be apart. We meet twice a week for classes and that's it, if situation permits, we make out, otherwise, we just look longingly at each other. we have not consummated this affair even after 10 months. so what shall I do? Do i continue or call it quits. I love this man but i love my children very much too.

My boyfriend married when he was only 20 and that too because his then girlfriend, now wife got pregnant. He never wanted to get married to her. Also, he never bothered to hide the fact that he is not getting along with his wife now. And, yes, i married my husband because pressure from my family. Now, i realise what have missed out on in life. I regretted that but a little too late. I know i don't deserve sympathy and i am trying to find the best solution for the happiness of myself and my children. please help.

One more thing, how come he never made an effort to consummate our affair even after 10 months? It's not like that we didn't have any opportunities. He could have found the right time and right place but he never did make an effort and I am NOT about to that for him.

Hi Darlene, you're right, my husband would never go for counselling. and we have talked endless time but he won't change for me. That's final.

Answer 1

Hi Dil Emma This new guy he is married as well so what is to say that he isn't just looking at you as a bit on the side , an easy bit of fun .He may have no intentions of having this great romance with you he may just be looking at bedding you and moving on , I know it sounds crass and rude but he is cheating on his wife isn't he so what kind of person is he after all . I know that its not easy living with a guy that dominates you like your husband is . but before you throw away your home and possibly your family Talk to the Man tell him what you have said here about him tell him that you have decided that in the future you will leave him if life isn't easier with him. After all you liked him enough to marry him there must be some spark of the old love in him still .

Answer 2

There are two sides to every story. Seems like you married a man for other reasons than love and you are now looking for it in this affair. What disgusts me here is the idiot women on this forum who agree that bcos your husband is too strict, old fashioned, egoistic etc He deserves to be messed around on especially with another married man even after you have two kids with this man. Sorry dear but you obviously don't and never did love your husband or YOUR KIDS. Good luck.

Answer 3

I completely understand your Dilemma. Your children have nothing to do with this, they know Mom is unhappy, and they probably know Dad needs to lighten up, or they soon will. I am assuming that your Husband won't have anything to do with Counseling either.
Putting aside you have another Love Interest, you need to put your own Heart at concern here. You're in Misery dear, and no need to allow it any longer, your children will be OK, as long as you take care of their Emotional needs, your Husband will be just fine, considering he only thinks of himself anyway.
Life is too short, and this other guy is married, you don't want to go there...think of your own well being, and if feasible, do what you have to do to get your own Self Esteem back. Be Happy!

Answer 4

Hello,

I think you should 1st speak to yr hubby, tell him how you feel, how he makes you feel. If he does not change his way then move on BUT you must get to know this other guy better, as it seems you don't know a lot about him at all... You say you love him, but do you love the thought of being loved ? This is YOUR life & you deserve to be happy ! Before you make any moves you need to know where your going what you will do as there are kids to be thought of. Good luck !

Answer 5

Your thoughts are under no circumstances unusual. they are, particularly frankly, very typical. i'm able to't help questioning which you will get a s***hurricane of snarky comments from people who can no longer undergo to truly face themselves in an truthful way, and prefer to pretend that the international is like some television show from their early existence... there is no longer something incorrect with non-committal intercourse, as long as the two each and every physique is very, very sparkling that it truly is strictly what they are doing. No strings, no expectancies, no harm thoughts. besides the indisputable fact that (and you knew there replaced right into a "besides the indisputable fact that" interior the someplace, did no longer you), the 1st guy or woman you would be very, very sparkling with is your companion/companion. you may not be sneaky approximately this. no longer in basic terms is it no longer appropriate, yet your courting won't likely proceed to exist a lie of that value. there is often "the existence-type" (person swingers), you already know. it is truly helpful to ask your self the type you may experience approximately your companion/companion having rapid, passionate intercourse, besides, yet once you're the two happy with it...

Answer 6

Get divorced from your hubby if you don't love him. THEN look for another partner. This will end up blowing up in your face and your kids will end up hating you for having an affair. End the affair, get divorced, then look for love. When you have an affair the grass on the other side just looks greenier because you have rose colored glasses on. This other man isn't perfect for you - heck he's married. Think about yourself and your kids. Good luck.

Answer 7

I hear you and understand what you are saying, but you know, it does take two to make a marriage.

Ask yourself how your husband would describe you the way you have described him here. Is there something you could be doing to make your marriage better? What changed between the time you got married and now?

The bottom line is this: are you better with, or without him?

Answer 8

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you were with your bf day in and day out then you would eventually find him boring just like your husband.

I don't believe your husand was any different when you were dating him. You still chose to marry him knowing what his faults were.... so no whining. You're just looking for excuses to justify your affair.

Answer 9

you stated you have 2 beautiful kids.
not sure what their ages are but think of how they will feel if they found out you were out and about with someone other than their father.
staying for the kids sake is not a good enough reason.
counseling would be a good place to start with hubby .....

Answer 10

I have no respect for cheaters. You need to let your husband go so he can find a woman with more respect for him than you. Despite his faults no one deserves the lack of respect you have given him. If these things are bad enough for you to cheat on him they should be reason enough for you to end your marriage, children or not.