Do U think it's Okay for guys and girls (men and women) to shack up before marriage?

Question

even though, divorce rates are higher for those who shack up?

Answer 1

Can't stand shack up honeys!!! here's why

While little or no religious faith and low income portend divorce, which at the 43% rate is a contagion, CDC found that 40% of marriages that grow from “cohabitation” ended within ten years. In contrast, divorce occurs in 31% of marriages wherein the couples did not shack up.

The reason, one observer told Associated Press, is that “many people enter a cohabiting relationship where the deal is, ‘If this doesn’t work out we can split up and it’s no big loss because we don’t have a legal commitment,’ " she said. “The commitment is tenuous, and that tenuous commitment might carry over into marriage.”

No kidding. But the commitments are “tenuous” because they are joined to gratify concupiscence, not to offer unconditional love to another with the goal of becoming one. People shack up for the convenient sex. You don’t have to go home on a cold night after it’s over.

And once the shoes are under the bed permanently, ending the “relationship” is much more difficult than if the shoes had not moved in. Retreating from an ill-considered “engagement” during “cohabitation” requires Herculean emotional and psychological strength.

So one or both parties are channeled toward that “tenuous” marriage. Result? Divorce.

The Wrong View of Marriage
But the CDC inadvertently identified another “factor” that explains the divorces where the spouses did not live together before marriage.

Quoting a “marriage expert” who toils for the federal government, AP reports, “part of the problem may be attitudes toward cohabitation are different than attitudes about marriage .... When living together, [the “expert”] said, the attitude is ‘I vow to stay together with you as long as you make me happy.’

“In a marriage, people focus on making their partners happy. ‘If you’re used to viewing being together as a test of the other person’s ability to take care of your needs, once you get married it’s hard to just switch that,’ ” the “expert” said.

Happy? Needs? The “expert” just doesn’t get it. No wonder the federal government hired him.

Marriage was not ordained to make you happy. It was ordained to make you better. The main duty for each spouse is not fulfilling the “needs” of the other, however selfless the effort.

The principal duty for spouses, at least in a Christian marriage, is to help each other get to heaven. This is what should make us happy, and even married atheists or others who don’t share the Christian view of marriage should strive to become better human beings -- not gratify egoistic urges.

A Sacred Bond
Which brings us back to the beginning.

The prevailing, legalistic view of marriage as a “tenuous commitment” is ripened in a culture that no longer views marriage as an indissoluble and sacred bond or sacrament joined by God. Today, marriage is a “contract” either husband or wife can break because they aren‘t “happy.”

Until that changes, until society understands marriage the old-fashioned way, the CDC reports won’t much improve.

Answer 2

Well Sweety,
That depends on whether or not you are a born again christian and how you wish to answer to God for your actions. And you WILL make an account for your actions and every idle word spoken. So be very careful in your decissions. Befor I answered this I read the other responses. I am a pastors wife and I have seen an unreal amount of divorces that ended short lived marraiges after there was a period of living together pre-maritally. I council people all the time and If you were sitting in my office, biblicly speaking God says NO! So, since I don't know you all I can say is consider prayerfully your actions. Many Blessings and good decissions, Tina

Answer 3

I got divorced from a 5 yr. marriage and have been shacked up with my mate for 17 yrs. Marriage is just a peice of paper these days.

Answer 4

I lived with my husband for 5 years before I married him, we have been married now for 22yrs. Nothing like a trial run hon, even if its only to test the engine and spare parts... lol. I may also add that yes we are still very happy and no I do not believe that we are the only ones. I do not think I am going to a place called hell because I did this either...

Answer 5

Well I am a christian woman.Personally I do not think it is ok.I have done this, before I was a christian of course. I did how ever marry the guy but honestly I wish I would have waited until marriage to shake up with him.

Answer 6

Yes,I do.Lots of people who are 'shacked' up last years and years together.

Answer 7

No. It is not God's will for men and women to "test drive" each other in this way. If you plan to get married...wait. Won't those first years together be that much more exciting as you overcome obstacles you did not foresee?

Answer 8

No, O don't think it's okay. If women keep giving the milk away for free, then men will never want to buy the cow.

Answer 9

its best to try it before you buy it, you might live with someone for a while then realize that you cant handle it(there habits) ,so sometimes better, its realy up to the couple an the leval of commitment they want.
but ever ways it becomes the same thing an its something not to rush into,like marriage.

Answer 10

I think it's fine to live together before marriage. It gives you time to adjust to eachothers habits and learn alot about the other. I think it's alot easier than getting married and then moving in together and not knowing what to look forward to at all!