My boyfriend is depressed. His family was recently involved in a scandal that eventually became a struggle for them and tore my bf apart. I understand what he was going through though. I began to just not take things personally and understand that its not my fault. To just be by his side when he needs a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on or space when he needs to think. . I know eventually, things will soon be ok, but he loses hope every now and then. It hurts to see him this way. He is awfully quiet and stares into nothing... Or sometimes hed ingnore me like i wasnt there.
It bothers me when people would say hurtful things like im not supposed to be treated this way, or that im taken for granted, or im a "martyr" for sticking with him... some just dont understand bec they just see the surface but not what's deeper. Some just dont know what is actually happening in his life and i felt like i really dont have to explain this to everyone who says stuff.
2006-10-08 19:15:42 · 4 answers · asked by joe_logs_a_co 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've thought abt giving up on himsometimes and felt like I have to look for someone better... but thats how love is right? sticking out for that person u love... I know Im not stupid for staying... This stage of his has happened before and when after a couple of months when he was all better, all my efforts were worth it and were both actually happy... This was the second time it happened and I know until their problems were finally over, this will eventually happen again... I just needed to cope through his depression though... thanks!
2006-10-08 19:56:41 · update #1
yes, i have. my bf was like that before. he was depressed about his mom treating him like ****. anyway, all i did was to be on his side whenever he needs me or when i feel like he needs me. i tried to be jolly and make him laugh as possible. i took him to places he have never been before just for him to see how beautiful the world could be. i make him say what he feels about his problems so that he can get it out on his chest and convert it into tears. (it's important to cry for people who feel bad). my family actually told me to break up with him because they thought that all i did was to put his problems on my shoulder. but that's how love work, isn't it? i've been there, in that "martyr" stage. however, it's a relief and a self-accomplishment as well, when you finally see his eyes sparkling and smile... getting over and overcoming his depression. your love and support is enough to make you do anything that will help him. don't quit on him, but remember that don't forget to take care yourself and not be so carried away by him.
good luck.
2006-10-08 19:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by misscoyote 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am twelfth.. I have the equal situation right here.. cat at the wall.. love or reviews... could also be I would proportion this.. I think love is some thing very unique, magical... u can not seek love.. someplace out of skinny air.. love jumps in ur center.. and hits u.. turns u the wrong way up... twist ur head.. u get surrendered to ur bf or gf.. however wen u seek love.. u get dedicated very without difficulty and get a divorce without difficulty... so do not suppose approximately this love matters (for now)... maintain ur travel regular.. You can love a any person at every time.. however reviews.. as soon as in lifestyles time... could also be ur lover could also be a few nook of this international looking for u... Waiting could also be a laugh.. the entire excellent... ;)
2016-08-29 05:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It bothers me too. People are so quick to tell you to leave the one you're with, saying things like "they're not your problems, he/she will only bring you down with him/her". I think they are just selfish.
When you really love someone you will be there for them and help them, besides, how will anyone ever get over their depressions if no one is willing to stick around and help them through the rough times?
As long as he has someone around he will start to feel better eventually. There are psychologists and therapy too if he needs more.
2006-10-08 19:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I dated someone who was depressed & an alcoholic. I loved him so much. I wanted to save him but I couldn't. I ended up having to save myself or he would have dragged me down with him.
You are kind to want to be there for him and support him. Just be good to yourself too. Don't let him bring you down. Your needs are important too. If you are with someone who ignores you & stares into space that's going to affect you & it isn't fair.
Tell him how you feel, maybe give him some space to sort things out in his life. Let him know that you're there for him when he needs to talk, but can't bear to watch him going through this when it seems like he can't talk to you.
Good luck.
2006-10-08 20:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by amp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋