Although she was an ex, it seems like i'm more obsessed abt her than he does! I cannot endure the fact that she's beautiful, sweet and demure. She's done all the things i've always wanted to do and i cannot stand the idea that i'm probably walking on her shadow! i want to be more original so that the bf thinks i'm his best, even though i'm not his first. I keep comparing to her and that sucks cuz both of us have totally different goals in life. i've only met her once and she said a physical comment abt my bf that just kills me becuz it brings home the fact tt she was his first gf! how do i stop comparing myself to her so that i don't hurt this relationship? My bf feels that i'm damaging myself this senseless way. anyone with similar success stories of getting over the dreaded e-x?
2006-10-08 19:07:05 · 8 answers · asked by raindrops 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was in a similar situation to you. I dont think that there is a quick fix answer, it just comes with time..sorry. But the things that I did was to find all of her pictures and find everything that I could about her, i dont know why...i just did. I think you just need to realise that she isn't better just different. And please STOP mentioning her name to your BF because out of sigh out of mind, and if you keep on mentioning her your BF might start thinking about her good qualities too! remember she is an eX for a reason!
2006-10-08 19:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a reason why she's his ex and now that he is with you. He chose you, so stop comparing. If you stop the comparing, you're gonna damage the relationship. Your his gf now, not her. He likes you just the way you are and that's why he's with you.
2006-10-08 19:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by Akane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is right. You are putting all this stress on yourself. Nobody is asking you to do it. The girl is an ex for a reason: because he's OVER her. And for her to make that comment just makes her an insecure bltch. I can tell you in time, you will forget about her and concentrate on him.
2006-10-08 22:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by cscjm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over your ego and realize he had a life before he met you. Also realize that YOU are the girlfriend now. If you can't make peace with that, then HE doesn't deserve you stressing him out. Get a grip.
2006-10-08 19:44:05 · answer #4 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel ur pain..i'v been there myself..lets just say i'm still goin thru it,even though my bf and i are getting married soon..i also find myself comparing myself to my boyfriend's ex gf,i kip thinkin im not good enough for him and dat he still has feelings for her..wat also makes it worse is the fact that every song he tells me he likes,some way or another seems as though he's not over his ex..think about it "so sick of love songs","whats left of me","lips of angel"..i know it sounds a little immature but u do the math!!
but u knw wats the secret to getting over it is??tell yourself that you are way better than his ex and you know you are..c'mon gal,if you were'nt,he wudn't be wit u rite now..you obviously mean something to this guy,thats why he's still with u despite u constantly putting urself down..be positive,give him all the love and attention u can..be with him whenever you can..
also do one more thing,tell your boyfriend that u don't like the idea of him having anything to do with his ex coz it's just gona make things more hard for you and that if he rily did care about you and your relationship,he'l try to keep very little contact with her or better still none @ all...
all the best!!
2006-10-08 19:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by pappin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him you are confident and Self Assured..you are confident and self assured right?
Men are turned on by women who have great self esteem and love themselves.....there is something about you he truly likes...go with it.
Don't blow it by showing insecurity about an ex..that's a quick way to end the relationship Pronto!
2006-10-08 19:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by TexasKitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you've got something she doesn't because he is with you and not her. just be yourself and pretend she doesn't exist. its not good to know too much about a guys ex's.
2006-10-08 19:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use psychology on yourself. Every time you start to think about her or obsess about her, stop and say to yourself "I'm thinking about her again... I'm thinking about her again" or "I'm obsessing about her again"... train yourself to do this every time she comes in your mind. That act will disarm the emotions and help build confidence in you that you don't need to compare yourself to her. You bf wants you, not her.
2006-10-08 21:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mustafa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋