wife wants another seperation. We have been married 10 years - been seperated 2 times ( both her idea... 1st time she found a BF online before the seperation). I've told her we can work thru anything but if she leaves this time I will file for a divorce. I'm 43 , own my own buisness, don't womanize or abuse her. To me she is the light of my life but she cannot ever say anything nice. She wants to work on things while we are seperated but I've had enough of this. What do you think?
2006-10-08 18:58:11 · 23 answers · asked by mgv11sport 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its an excuse t be with some one else. get the divorce papers fill them out and show them to her tell her you love her and this is the hardest thing yo have ever had to do but if she leaves then you will file them. if she leaves then she really doesnt care about you or anything else to do with you. she goes out screws arond and when shes done with the dude or they drop her she comes running back. dont let her. it will be best for both of you and this way you find out the truth.
2006-10-08 20:03:10 · answer #1 · answered by evilella 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love her ask her to go to counseling tell her that through 2 seperations things have not changed and you need professional help, someone who can listen to both sides and give you good advice. If she is not willing, you may want to stick with your guns and file, you are not a yo-yo and you need to start your own life, I feel very bad for you I hear so many times where a couple breaks up for no REAL reason, but of course the ultimate decision is up to you. I hope she agrees on couseling, you would be amazed at how much one session can help.
2006-10-08 19:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she just wants to mess around with some "STRANGE" & even if u seperate & work things out it seems to me that she is just doing it to have her little flings. But she wants to keep you in the picture, in case the new fling dosen't work out. If I were you, if she wants to seperate then make it a final seperation, don't put up with her sh*t any longer. Obviously u have things going in the right direction in your life except for your wife. Tell her if she wants to seperate then Bye, don't let the door hit u where the good lord split you. And change the locks & phone numbers. Take Care
2006-10-08 19:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by lori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have been too patient and now you are being realistic, not too harsh. The first time you seperated, she found another man first? She is looking to replace you, not work out your problems together. Maybe the first 2 times she did not find an appropriate person, whose to say she doesn't this time?
You sound like an indepedent sort of guy, stop letting your wife treat you badly (wanting constant "seperations" instead of staying and trying to work things out is bad behavior) and get on with your life. Perhaps you will find someone who respects your relationship with them instead of taking it for granted.
2006-10-08 19:04:44 · answer #4 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, face it...it's OVER. Agree to a seperation, be very civil and understanding. Tomorrow, 9:00 AM, you should be standing on the doorstep of the nastiest lawyer in your state. Retain him before she does. Do everything he tells you to do...inc. investigators, taped phone calls, every reciept you can think of, everything. She may be the light of your life but you are being blinded by it. She is a tramp, pure and simple. She wants out, and she will destroy you if you let her. This is the kind of woman that complains about 'needing space' or 'the spark is gone' or 'you can't meet my emotional needs' and will take all your money, your business and deny access to your children (if any). They are cruel, spitefull and are easily manipulated by a lawyer. Help yourself for a change because if you don't she will get restless and squash you like a bug.
2006-10-08 19:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enough should put you an ending. If you think you aren't in wrong and yet she is the one who has raised the issues of separation, I think you should make a wise decision - leave her for own good because a woman who can leave you twice time is definately playing your feeling and is not serious towards you.
For the sake of yourself, pluck your courage and consult your lawyer to proceed the divorce. Otherwise, your childish wife will continuously hurting and playing you up and down again and again.
2006-10-08 19:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are definitely not being too harsh, your wife needs to realise that she has someone who loves her a lot and you are not a doll who's emotions can be manipulated and put on hold every time that she feels like it. If the only way she will realise what she has is to lose it that is her problem, and hopefully for her sake you wont find someone else while she is figuring things out. I definitely think you should get a divorce if she doesnt want to compromise and you should concentrate on building your business.
2006-10-08 19:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go! Twice is twice too many. She's just not into you anymore and you can find someone else who will love you more and you will be happier in time. Sorry she is the light of your life! Withe that kind of behavior how can you love her so much and not have any resentments? She's cheated on you my friend. Has no respect for you or your marriage. End of story! Be done! Move on!
2006-10-08 19:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 100% correct. It is NOT working on a relationship if she goes off and finds a bf. That's called cheating. Her behavior calls for an ultimatum. You tell her that if she has doubts about the relationship, you will go with her to a marriage counselor. Any other solution to marital issues is unacceptable. Her 'separation' is really an abusive manipulation of your loyalty. It allows her to cheat on you without feeling like she has done anything 'wrong'. Please, put your foot down, decide on a minimum degree of decency that you are entitled to, and demand that if she wants to stay in a relationship with you, she needs to respect your commitment to each other.
Her treatment of you really gets me steamed.
2006-10-08 19:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by jack b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she found a bf ,on line before, what is going on now?Sorry to hear it= if she wants to work on it- have her move back in and get into counseling asap= this is too serious to play with and she has issues that need to be dealt w. What do you think? Sound like a good thing to try= one more try- take care _D
2006-10-08 19:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋