We have been best friends for two years... Recently, we realized that we had feelings for each other. The problem is that he does not like my past; I've done many things I've regret. I have slept around and have hooked up with guys that he's never been fond of.
I really want to change for us, but he is still apprehensive. How do I clearly tell/show him that I have changed? How do I make him stop bringing up my past?
2006-10-08 18:26:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
well duh, he should like u for WHO YOU ARE, not WHAT YOU ARE. If u were like that before and are willing to change, then do it. Show him u are willing to change for the better. If u are willing to do this for him, just do it. He should see this change and know that whatever it is that happened in the past, its all in THE PAST. May he realize that things that happened before was a thing of the past and that u can never bring it back and change it. What u can do right now is change for the better. If u say u are willing to change, then change. Good for u though because u know what u have done and really wanted to be better. Its also comforting to tell him this: "I know I have done a lot of things in the past and we both know we cannot change that... Understand that what we have now in the PRESENT is far more important than the past and that if we dwell too much on it, we tend to overlook what is happening now, and what could be in the future..." Just ask him to believe and trust u. Good luck!
2006-10-08 18:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by joe_logs_a_co 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and have an open and honest talk about everything that you are feeling. Tell him what you said here, and about how you feel about him and that you want things to progress romantically for you two. If he is truly worthy of you, then he will get over your past and realize that you are a real person with experiences just like everyone else, but who you are is not directly connected to things that you have done. If he cannot understand this and love and acccept everything about you then he is not worthy of you at all.
2006-10-08 18:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by rxtech05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Showing someone ‘you have changed’ takes ‘time’…
At present, all he has is ‘your word’ that you have changed…
That isn’t necessarily ‘good enough’ at this stage.
You will have to prove to him over time that you no longer do the things you did before, and as he learns to put his trust in you, things will improve between you both.
You have been best friends for two years…
Remain that way, and allow the relationship to grow at its own pace !!!
Ask him to stop ‘bringing up your past’ and instead, help you to build on your future !!!
2006-10-08 18:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you continue with the friendship and let it grow naturally. Before you go any further though, pledge to respect each other and let the past "be the past".
Enjoy what you have. You don't have to rush. Let time and the security you build in sharing pave a positive path for you.
2006-10-08 18:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Robere 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that you are changed. Whatever you did is in the past and he has nothing to worry about. Let him know that you only want to be him him and will not do anything to hurt him or jeopardize the relationship. Ask him to trust you!
2006-10-08 18:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by sunflower222 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a person really loves you, he will not care about your past because past is past. But if he cannot accept your past, then there's nothing you can do about it. It has to be coming from him that he accepts you for who and what you are and that includes everything that you have done. That's love.
2006-10-08 18:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by ~Amor~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you can change you past. if he care he will under stand that you are changing for the better. tell him it hearts you for him to bring up your pasted ' he has the same thing or similar in his past to he is not perfect.
2006-10-08 18:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by aaron h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait a second...you're saying YOUR past haunts HIM?
How does one arrange that? Count me in no matter the cost. And PS: F*uk this guy. He's going to hold this sh*t over your head for a lifetime.
Forgive YOURSELF and this guy can't hurt you.
Forgive YOURSELF and nothing can hurt you.
2006-10-08 18:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
remain friends for a while longer to show him that you are over your old habits. If he doesnt come around then he doesnt deserve you after the effort you showed towards him & anyway he shouldn't have a problem.
2006-10-08 18:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by Claude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you no reason to account you past,the most important is the future between you and him,rectify your self,ask him about your past be true to yourself.
2006-10-08 18:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by mario t. reoyan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋