Someone Please Help?

Question

Can someone tell me why my husband of 2 and a half years ( and 3 kids later) would much rather sit on the couch all day and watch tv and play that stupid xbox.............I cook and take care of the kids and i am sick of this what should i do????

Oh ya and we just moved to a new city so i have nothing to do and he has found something to do outside the house that does not include me and we have only been here a week.

I am going to be getting a job and i am singed up for online classes cause my kids a small and i dont want to leave them with a sitter in a new place.

Before everyone all jumpy about the babies, I had a child before we met.....but thats another story.

Answer 1

Sounds like you're getting your ducks in a row. Before you know it, you wont need him at all. And he can have his tv & xbox to keep him company.

Answer 2

Let me start off by saying that there seems to be more than one issue steming from this question. And without know all the facts it is hard to justify who's right or who's wrong. In this instance, I feel that you are justified in your asking him to help with the kids. When he married you, he married everything that comes with it.

The fact that the two of you have only been married for 2 1/2 years clearly states that this is still a time of transition for the two of you. Married life is still new and it is taking a little getting used to. It was never mentioned if all 3 are his kids or not nor was it mentioned as to how long you two have known each other or been together prior to getting married.

You also seem to be a little "out-of-place" with the fact that you have just moved into a new place. Reasons why were not mentioned. It seems that you are stressed about the new transistion that is taking place with being newly married and a new home. It is a perfectly natural reaction. Your husband might also be depressed as well because of the new transistion.

Playing video games might be a way for him to release his fustrations or depression. It might also be an addiction. It might be best for you to treat this as an addiction. Negitive reaction to this will only bring negative results. Try talking to him about it calmly and rationally. Show him that you care about him and need his attention as well. Don't nag him with the, "I do everything and you don't" deal. This only cause him to shy away from you even more. But do approach the situation like so, "Baby, Can we talk? I feel that I'm not appreciated anymore. I feel that you have given up on helping me out. I need a break every now and then too. I wish I could sit down and have those long talks like we used to. I wish I could feel appreciated for what I do." And just allow him to open up. Tell him that you would like him to help out just a little but also compromise too. Don't take the x-box and get rid of it. But allow him to play it a little everyday.

I do want to give you my encouragement toward you furthering your education. But don't hold it over his head. Marriage is not a competition as to who is better than who. If talking doesn't seem to work, try finding a pastor or counselor to help the two of you adapt and overcome any and all issues that are involved in your relationship.

I pray that the two of you will be able to work things out and continue to have a healthier relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

As a game lover myself and a husband of 6 1/2 years with one little girl.

I fell into this problem with my wife. The bad part was I really didn't even realize it either. My video gaming almost grinded to a halt when we had are little girl, but that was my choice. I think you should talk to him (don't yell) explain to him how you feel and that his video game playing is a bit excessive. Point out how much time he actually spends playing. Relationships are all about communication. If this doesn't work sign up for a college course or something that will get you out of the house and force him to take some responsibility. What husband would have a problem with his wife trying to better herself. We have a role reversal in my home I do all of the housework,cook, and take care of the baby( not to mention I still have all the guy jobs too..lol) so, I know how you feel..College course are a good way to better yourself and its nice to get to socialize with someone who's taller then your knee caps..lol

Good Luck ....Hope this helped

Answer 4

Does he work and bring home a check??? or does he have total couch butt?? He needs some playtime and so do you- may you can make a deal with were he is all yours a night a week or have a date night once A week or 2? walk, bike ride, golf, or movie and dinner if you can afford it ?. If he does not work - would be really ticked- and get on the pill or natural family planning- he seems to like to make babies and they are a blessing and work- don't we know it- take care= D

Answer 5

Man, this is probably a question asked by millions of wifes!
The problem is ,, he has become too comfortable. He feels completely secure in the fact that you will keep doing what you are doing and he can keep not doing what he is not doing.
Unfortunatly, the only way to correct this in us men is to make us REALIZE what we have. By that i mean you have to actually make him experience not having it or he could lose it.
YOu can leave for awile but dont hook up with another man or anything. Tell him you are tired of him not giving 100 percent. Or, make him jeaoulous with another guy. Dont have sex and preferably do not be phisically attracted to the person. Dont take any of them too far. Just far enough for him to experience a realization.
Good luck...

Answer 6

Married 2 and a half years and have 3 kids already???? That's pretty quick......seems like he knows how to make babies but doesn't know how to take care of them. :( Why did you marry this guy (and I use this term loosely) in the first place????

But somehow I feel your marriage was based on the ol' "hokey-pokey" and not on any real meaningful love in your relationship....thus your problem.

Perhaps it's time for a heart to heart talk with your husband (with the tv off).

Good day.

Answer 7

Tell his sorry *** to get up.LOL..men think because they work or whatever that they don't have to do anything..sometimes u have to remind them that they have to help run the household as well..one person cant do everithing...basically ur goona have to cut a deal with him like after the kids r in bed he can play the x-box or watch tv....ur gonna have to find some common ground so that he gets his leisure time which i know ur dieing 4 and gettin house business taken care of...Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 8

Well you sound like me when I first got married...I had three children by the time I was 22yrs old....My husband sometimes helped me out, but most of the time he drank. When you scream they sometimes get the hint, but in all reality I took care of all three of my children as far as the cooking, cleaning, bathing, and also working. Yes I also went to school part-time. It is no fun doing it alone sometime he would help, but most of the time I did it all...I would say that he did have a good job which helps...

Answer 9

step 1. osh
lol i luv saying that phrase but yea hmm invite his friends over and tell him , if u already tried but if not well then nanny 911 would be a good choice seriously they did that on one episode

Answer 10

Pretend you are interested in his hobby. Ask him to show you how to play x-box. Spend time doing what he deems necessary in his life as important. Interact with him with great pleasure, even though you hate it in your mind. Slowly gain a bond of trust with him in his world. Use great interests in all your words to him. Slowly gain his attention as being a really cool and understanding wife. With great patience you will find that soon he will become more interested in your world, and want to spend more time doing what you like to do.

For better or worse; in sickness and health; for richer or poorer; TILL GOD DO YOU PART! THEREFOR THIS REASON; SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER, AND CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE. AND TWO SHALL BECOME ONE!