My husband is a very bad tempered person and swears alot. Whenever he's angry he will say all the bad words,sometimes even calling me names and it bothers me a lot!! I was raised in a very well mannered way. We never utter ONE bad word at home and it's like a taboo to my family. My dad will just slap us for any abusive words. Now I have a baby and he's 8 months old. I would like to raise my child the way I was been brought up. No swear word! But the problem is my husband keep on using those words even in front of my baby. I keep on telling him don't mention that kind of word in front of the baby but he just ignoring it and still doing it. I get very upset with his behaviour. His tantrum really making me crazy. I'm just afraid that my baby will pick up that behaviour from him and I really don't want that to happen. What do i do?
Thanks for your views.....
2006-10-08 17:49:14 · 24 answers · asked by betty boo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He always been a bad tempered person even before we got married. But it seem that now he has become from bad to worst. Apart from his tempered he is a great guy and unpredictable too. He can be so very nice at this moment and become totally opposite the next moment. So what i need is an opinion on how do i talk so he listen and take note and will not repeat it again.
Divorce will be my last option, I love my family and will try to do the best I can to keep my family together.
2006-10-08 18:20:46 · update #1
I will not say it's a mistake marrying him. I love him and you know sometimes there are certain things that we're not happy with someone. I've been putting up with his behaviour for 4 years alone. But this is not about me at all it's about my son. Sometimes people need to change for their own good as well. If people can change from bad to worst then why not from bad to good. I'm just afraid if he can't control his temper he will get heart attack before he turns 40.
p.s: If I don't marry him I would have married someone else with different kind of problem and will come up with different question for you guys to answer. So please....just stick with what should i do & how do i talk to him. Thanks! ;)
2006-10-08 19:17:42 · update #2
Betty,
This situation is NOT good! I have a bad-tempered one too, in fact I had to call the police over once before.
The guys who are bad-tempered usually get violent, easily! Your child shouldn't be in that environment!
Let me tell you first hand, that you CANNOT reason with people like this! Doesn't do much good to talk, unless he can calm down and you can find out why he is so TOUCHY! (I've had to do that too.)
I've learned that when someone is hot-tempered, they have SOME ISSUES they hide and it eats 'em up, then it builds and builds.
Ya can't help them, unless they accept help.
You don't want your child around violence! I have seen what it can do, I have a kid who is fighting an Anxiety problem and she saw some violence years back! It scars kids!
Kids DO pick up behavior and they ACT out when its disturbing!
Your Husband should go to Counseling. Guys usually have the Pride-thing they hang onto and think others are crazy for suggesting help. He shoulod realize he isn't showing you respect nor treating the both of you right.
Whatever you do, if your guy keeps getting mad and continues to swear, be sure you keep calm and keep the baby in another room in these occurances.
Ask him about going for Counseling, if he refuses, I'd take the baby and stay with your parents, I advise you to get out of the "Tantrum" scene and leave with your child until he agrees to some kind of help.
I should know, I went through this problem.
Steer clear and get help!
2006-10-08 19:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree there should be no swearing in the home. You will need to be very diplomatic to be able to stop it, as your husband will see it as a putdown, with the usual comment, so you think your too good for me? It would appear you are both products of your environment. You being raised with swearing a taboo and your husband maybe being raised where swearing is normal. I suggest you ignore the swearing, whilst your baby is still young and concentrate on why your husband is so angry all the time.
Once he has dealt with that issue, the swearing may cease or at least he will be able to have a discussion about your concerns without becoming angry...
2006-10-09 01:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go seek professional help because this isn't good at all. Your husband doesn't seem to respond to your reservations about his temper in front of your child. If he truly loved you and had any sense of honor for his child, he would try to behave himself in a better fashion when he's around the infant. What bothers me more is how so many women these days are screwing their lives up by marrying jerks and then complain about it later....and worse, children are now involved (which is extremely sad). If he's calling you names already, it's not a good sign that your marriage is on a good footing to begin with. Something probably is not going right.....seek professional help.
Wishing you luck and patience with your problem.
2006-10-09 01:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jesus S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband also had a very quick temper while he didn't swear so much he was violent. Personally I had had enough and threw down an ultimatum either he chilled on the temper or got counseling or I was leaving him. He chilled it's been 2 years since he's lost his temper to the point where I was frightened.
2006-10-09 00:55:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know he was like this before you married him? If so, there should have been a lot of talking of this beforehand since this type of behavior will have an affect on your children. Babies do mimic what they hear and see so this is a serious concern. you need to really discuss your feelings to him and really make him understand the impact of his distructive behavior on his children and their development. If the talking does not help. maybe you should consider a new husband who will respect your thoughts and mannerisms.
2006-10-09 00:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by northerntweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he ever hits you have him arrested and get a restraining order- protect yourself and baby. Ask him if he want the kid talking like that and telling him to screw off-Your husband needs to learn some new words. Hopefully he works all day- and the baby has dinner, plays and goes to bed, and doesn't hear it all day. Do you are he have a pastor or priest to go to- there is more issues going on than cussing- D
2006-10-09 01:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reverting back the same behaviour vl help in ths issue. Do it back to him as he does. Its not a game to hit back but d kind f treatment u give 2 xplain certain facts. It ll work out 4 sure. Make him feel bad abt his behaviour then ur prob vl b ovr. Hope ths vl help out. Its upto u 2 act.
2006-10-09 01:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by Krib 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously............WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM?
You had to know that was going to happen. Shame on you for having a baby with such an idiot. I know you don't want to hear that but really...who's fault is it? YOURS! Be resposible for your childs upbring and give your husband a choice. Either stop or your leaving to provide a good, decent upbringing for your child and stand strong my dear...because. this child will treat you the same way your husband is treating you, unless you stop it or get away from it!
2006-10-09 00:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In life i guess everyone wants the good, and what is the better. Its a man's duty to be loyal and repect his wife the way she wants him to be. If he wants her love, he should do what makes her happy. atleast i think so.
You should continue to tell your husband that you're not liking this temper issue, and his language. sometimes guys can undestand when the girl becomes emotional, (cries) because thats when we can tell your heart is pouring out.
My advice is continue to tell him nicely, also repect him, just the way he should with you. If you show him that you are loyal to him and you have needs to, he might just change for you.
I hope what i said helps, take care. bye
2006-10-09 01:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, is he approachable? Can he listen if you broach the issue? You can start by discussing with him your concern Anybody should understand the need for proper upbringing. If you can't approach him, then you need to get help from someone he can listen to, maybe even a cousellor.
2006-10-09 00:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by kenyanmartin2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋