please help. me afraid!?
i am 24 yrs old girl. i was unwanted child of my parents. i was sexually, physically, and mentally abused by my parents. i was raped at the age of seven by my baby sitter. i was raped by my bf and his frd in a car at the age 19, i was again raped at the age of 20 and 21. i was not allowed to socialise . i was tormented everyday till this july 2006 when i got a chance bcoz of my uncle , to participate in international exchange programme. but now i am here, i am a shy girl. i dont take part in all the group acitivities. i work in the workshop and attend meetings , but i dont feel like doing anything. as i want to concentrate on my decision which i have to take while i go back to india in november 2006. but my supervisors are angry they want me to participate in tomorrow's thanksgiving volunteer work. but i simply dont want to go. please help. me scared of their anger!
2006-10-08 17:19:22 · 14 answers · asked by priya t 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
dont let the past ruin your life, tell yourself that you are in charge of your life now and you are going to work on doing things for yourself that are good and fun and helpful and right. I am so sorry to hear all these awful things have happened to you, you did not deserve them and I hope none of it ever happens to you again!! Best of luck but you do have to move on and live. I read one time that nothing is sadder than for someone to die that was so scared they never really lived! That hit me and I decided to try more things and you need to too, I hope you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-08 17:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be afraid of their anger, but if not participating in this thing means you may lose your place in this program; you are going to have to ask yourself if that's what you want to happen; and if it is not, then you should just go and do your best once you get there.
Usually, things seems worse before you get there. Usually, even a shy person can show up somewhere, meet one other person to talk with, and somehow manage.
If you think about it, it doesn't make much sense to take part in an exchange program if you aren't going to particpate in something that will get you acquainted with some people and involved in some kind of project. Its a nice thing as far as I can see. Just try to see what its like to do something nice. From what you've said about your background, it would seem that maybe you just aren't comfortable just being "light" (rather than "heavy" emotionally) and doing some nice, little, thing. You weren't allowed to socialize, which is awful; but now you're being encouraged to socialize, so go for it. Its a nice thing for people to have in life.
Nobody will mind if you're shy. There are all kinds of people. One way to start to overcome some shyness, though, is to do a little socializing and working with other people.
2006-10-09 00:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think trying to face your fear is the only way to overcome it. Sounds like you will be in a safe environment with nothing to be afraid of. Maybe let your supervisor or a co-worker know that at some point you may need to be alone for a minutes. If it becomes too much, go to the ladies room or a safe place to re-group and get yourself together.
You have survived terrible experiences. You are strong! You can do this :-)
2006-10-09 00:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by Smart Kitty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have you explained to the family you are staying with the problems you have had in your life? Most American families are very understanding. Could you speak to a counselor at school? Seek someone who can help you here in this country NOW before you have to go back to India. The Indian Consoul may be able to help you.
As for participating tomorrow, talk to the woman of the house and explain how you feel and why.
2006-10-09 00:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by housemouse62451 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh., i never thought i would meet some one like you in the net. if all that you say is true.. i pity your status. i understand your state of mind.
1. Consult a therapist.
2. courage is key to success in life.
3. believe me world outside you is much more than you think.
4. make good friends. chose them. may be one or two. ask for help whenever necessary
5. I am afraid if india is such worst country to live. try for alternative living location from now on.
6. keep all these advice away..Keep saying these into your mind.
"I can do it." or "just do it."
7. Your determination only will take you forward.
8. if you think i am your friend, my hand is always there to help you in any case. try talking to me. I will help you by words, by action and build a new you.
2006-10-09 00:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by juljulabie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are precious valuable to God. If you really can not do some volunteer work (but I think you can, with God's help), just explain to them the reason in gentle manner.
In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives you air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives you water to drink and food to eat.
God gives you a wonderful body and sound mind, to live.
God loves you, and you are precious to Him.
Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation.
Jesus’ love is boundless and everlasting.
We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.
Life therefore has fantastic and glorious future!
(Digestion of above can even prevent depression and suicide attempt.)
2006-10-09 00:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by tmthyh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with someone about these issues. Go into a mental health clinic or emergency room at a hospital and tell them you are in a critical emotional state. Try to do it now if you can. ( Or tomorrow. You can call in sick tomorrow so you can avoid doing this thing that is scaring you. )
2006-10-09 00:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hai,
Why are u scared
your life is a mess
making it happy is in your hands
By feeling scared u r making it more worst
dont fear for any thing face every thing bravely
over come shy and prove ur self
once u prove to ur self u will get confidence.
dont hesitate go ahead
ALL THE BEST
2006-10-09 00:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by sridevi k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a rape crisis community support center. See a therapist to work through your thoughts and worries.
2006-10-09 00:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by catzrme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting people force you to do things you don't want to do. It is your life, live it the way you want! Have you got a counsellor? Good luck...
2006-10-09 01:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by F R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋